Jessica Simpson Should Maybe Sit the Next Few Plays Out

Posted on July 31st, 2008 1:22pm by Eric Celeste
Filed under Local News

Just received a tip from a sweet female FBvian—who is REALLY unhappy with my previous headline (c’mon, I’m just tryin’ to rile you up, people!)—that everyone in FB Nation needs to read the September Elle cover story, in which Tony Romo’s girlfriend dishes on all things boy-toy. My favorite quote, about her ex, John Mayer:

“John believed in the Jessica Simpson that’s within.”

She then goes on to talk about Romo, and how wonderfully in love they are. That prompted this IM analysis from said FBvian, which may give away who it was:

Seriously, people don’t like people who always talk about how happy they are. And she oughta know by now that the happier you make yourself out to be, the harder you fall when it all comes crashing down, a la Kathy Lee Gifford. The whole thing was annoying. If Tony wants to trade up, I know another Jessica he can date. So if he got a tattoo of her name, he wouldn’t even have to change it.

Two words: Me. Ow.

26 comments

  1. “John believed in the Jessica Simpson that’s within.”

    *cough* What’d he use to find it?

    @ 1:27 pm on July 31, 2008

  2. He probed for it, Bethany. Probed.

    @ 1:31 pm on July 31, 2008

  3. While it is clear that you are unhappy with
    this Romo/Simpson relationship, it is not clear why. Jealous of Romo or Simpson or happy people in general. Aren’t you and your headband happy with Timmeh??

    @ 1:33 pm on July 31, 2008

  4. Seriously, though. Who writes like that – unless its for Harlequin?

    @ 1:34 pm on July 31, 2008

  5. A certain Belo-owned publication’s blog has a quote by Papa Joe that reads:

    “She’s coming to the games this year, so you better get ready,” Papa Joe said. “She’s a fan from the beginning to the end.”

    followed by:

    “He better have the year of his life,” Papa Joe said

    And in her own words:

    “Most of the guys I dated were captivated by my heart but they had different ways of trying to get to me. Tony understands me. He appreciates my talent. He’s the first person I’ve spiritually connected with. I’m a girl that loves to be in love. I love love!”

    Note to the entire Simpson clan: STFU. Seriously, there’s always a perfectly good time and place to just be quiet and stop talking and save face and preserve a little bit of dignity. It’s fine to love love. Just stop selling every little bit of your (or your daughters) life out for publicity or money.

    I’m predicting 13-3 as it stands now but that’s IF Papa Joe doesn’t bust out his own dry erase board outside the locker room.

    @ 1:37 pm on July 31, 2008

  6. I love lamp.

    @ 1:40 pm on July 31, 2008

  7. “John believed in the Jessica Simpson that’s within.”
    As opposed to what, the one that’s overblown, overhyped and overplayed? Maybe the Jessica that’s within can stop showing up everywhere. Just keep dating Tony and stop trying to use him for your publicity gravy train.

    @ 1:42 pm on July 31, 2008

  8. I love desk.

    @ 1:45 pm on July 31, 2008

  9. Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying you love it, because you saw it?

    @ 1:46 pm on July 31, 2008

  10. Trade “up”? I’ll give your Jessica IM’ee the upper hand in (1) witty jabbery (2) snark and (3) teeth, but there’s still a little something known as “T&A”. Jessica Light should take note.

    @ 1:48 pm on July 31, 2008

  11. I love lamp. I love lamp.

    @ 1:52 pm on July 31, 2008

  12. Vaudeville, how’s that Mazda CX7 treating ya? Zoom, zoom.

    @ 1:53 pm on July 31, 2008

  13. I love strong drink, bitter mockery, and sunsets on the beach.

    @ 1:57 pm on July 31, 2008

  14. “Most of the guys I dated were captivated by my heart but they had different ways of trying to get to me…”

    Two warm hands and a stethoscope (sung to Beck’s “two turntables and a microphone.”

    @ 2:00 pm on July 31, 2008

  15. JL–Don’t know what you’re talking about. CX9, by the way. CX7 is for chicks.

    @ 2:05 pm on July 31, 2008

  16. Careful, Vaudeville. Some FB-ers are really sensitive about car criticism. Boo hoo.

    @ 2:10 pm on July 31, 2008

  17. “…there’s always a perfectly good time and place to just be quiet and stop talking and save face and preserve a little bit of dignity.”

    amandacobra, I think that time was prior to the filming of “Newlyweds.”

    @ 2:11 pm on July 31, 2008

  18. “Tony, where is the strangest place you’ve made whoopee?”

    @ 2:12 pm on July 31, 2008

  19. She really, really hates it when guys are in relationships. Trust me. I know things.

    @ 2:15 pm on July 31, 2008

  20. Update: Jessica and Tony out on the town in Oxnard:

    http://www.celebrity-gossip.net/celebrities/hollywood/jessica-simpson-visits-tony-romo-at-training-camp-205154/

    @ 2:15 pm on July 31, 2008

  21. Eric: that photo is strictly and advo for her new bag.

    @ 2:21 pm on July 31, 2008

  22. Why is Jessica Simpson famous?

    @ 2:23 pm on July 31, 2008

  23. Puddin, don’t you mean bags? And they’re not new.

    @ 2:26 pm on July 31, 2008

  24. Don’t worry, y’all. They broke up (if only for a brief time) not too long after the last time she ran her mouth about Tony to a magazine.

    Oh, and score one for creativity… http://perezhilton.com/2008-07-31-deja-vu-3

    @ 2:38 pm on July 31, 2008

  25. as an Eagles fan, i love Yoko Romo hanging around your QB 24/7 365

    as i’ve said before, i guess he’s never seen Rocky

    “Women weaken legs!”

    @ 2:41 pm on July 31, 2008

  26. jpr: the line from Bull Durham is much better. “Never f*** with a winning streak!”

    @ 2:48 pm on July 31, 2008