“SEX CAULDRON! I Thought They Shut That Place Down!”

Posted on July 23rd, 2008 5:07pm by Eric Celeste
Filed under Local News

Police released an affidavit this afternoon that details the recent raid on our favorite sex club in Duncanville, the Cherry Pit. The, uh, money graph:

According to the affidavit, sex parties are held at the home every Friday and Saturday for 50 to 80 people or 80 to 100 during special events and holidays. Photos provided by police along with the affidavit show a hot tub, huge beds, panties hanging from a string in one room, and large quantities of liquor.

I mean, as liberal as I am, that is disgusting. Hot tubs are swimming with germs, people. Just everybody cram in the shower, like they do at my pad. Crazy, baby. Crazy. Hey, you, get away from my fondue!

20 comments

  1. You hets never cease to amaze me with your debauchery. We serve steak tartare with pomme frittes and toast points. Far less messy than any fondue, and besides fondue is so 1970’s.

    Now, is that Senator Lindsey Graham and actress Katherine Helmond in the corner of the pool?

    The lady standing is what I imagine Bethany looks like and she is correcting her hubby on proper gawking etiquette.

    @ 7:37 pm on July 23, 2008

  2. Did anyone else see the pictures of the inside of The Pit? Plywood bunkbeds and gallon jugs of off brand liquor… Nothing says nookie like that, for sure.

    @ 7:46 pm on July 23, 2008

  3. The Cherry Pit sounds so much better than our crummy hangout.

    @ 9:24 am on July 24, 2008

  4. I don’t know why Duncanville is so miffed — at least these Cherry Pit people aren’t walking around the streets with their pants falling down, they’re not covering their windows with junky adverts, they’re not driving drunk and they’re not using their massive arsenal to hold up banks, service stations, convenience stores, etc., and so far they haven’t been linked to the Uptown burglary spree. Maybe it’s time for a new city slogan: Duncanville: Feel the Love …

    @ 9:30 am on July 24, 2008

  5. Surely the Duncanville police have something better to do than worry about what consenting adults do in the privacy of someone’s home.

    People have sex at house parties all the time, hell, fraternities are build around this idea. Why on earth does anyone care if these people go to a party to get a little something something?

    @ 9:36 am on July 24, 2008

  6. Wow, Brandon, that was quite an obscure 90210 reference…

    @ 9:38 am on July 24, 2008

  7. Maybe Duncanville just wants to collect sales taxes on all those admission fees, drinks and “fun” coupons.

    @ 9:39 am on July 24, 2008

  8. And this is the police’s business how? A hundred bucks says the police report was stained with drool.

    @ 10:00 am on July 24, 2008

  9. Uh, Daniel. Have you seen pictures of some the attendees? You can make them all hot, young 20-somethings in your head. But, in reality, it’s closer to the other end of that spectrum from what I’ve seen…

    @ 10:07 am on July 24, 2008

  10. HBO Documentaries have taught me that, as a general rule, neither prostitutes nor swingers nor nudists are even 10% of their mythologized ideal. For every real life Julia-Roberts-Pretty-Woman-Hooker-With-A-Heart-of-Gold, there have to be 10,000 toothless meth’d-out truck stop whores. And that ratio might not be high enough.

    @ 10:34 am on July 24, 2008

  11. Agreed. But, the sad thing is, Mantooth, one becomes the other in about 3 years. So, the ratios are constantly increasing.

    @ 10:43 am on July 24, 2008

  12. Jack,
    Please. Like I would marry someone who didn’t already know how to properly gawk.

    @ 10:58 am on July 24, 2008

  13. There are Beautiful People groups and clubs but they’re not in the news because the members are much more exclusive and discreet.

    @ 10:58 am on July 24, 2008

  14. Puddin, please do tell more.

    @ 11:13 am on July 24, 2008

  15. No need, Puddin. Tim already took care of it for us a while ago. KR – check here and here.

    @ 11:16 am on July 24, 2008

  16. I have friends that claim it’s strictly a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

    Jes sayin’.

    @ 11:39 am on July 24, 2008

  17. Josh,

    No, I haven’t. Point taken. A walk down Bryan Street after dark will confirm that prostitutes are an uncomely lot, and we’ve all seen the disturbing photos of three-balled nudists grinning like monkeys, apparently oblivious to their condition.

    I’m blissfully ignorant about swingers, but very eager to take your word for it.

    @ 1:51 pm on July 24, 2008

  18. The first rule of f*&k club is you don’t talk about f$#k club!

    @ 2:55 pm on July 24, 2008

  19. First: If the statute has been challenged, and the challenge is on appeal, then everyone is waiting for the court to decide whether or not the police can shut down the club. So what do the police do while waiting to find out if they are allowed to shut it down? They just run out and shut it down. But they can do that, because they’re the cops.

    Second: In the process of writing people tickets for being lewd and violating a real estate zoning ordinance, the cops find it necessary to take everyone’s wallets and personal property. Why? I guess it’s because they’re the cops.

    @ 2:56 pm on July 24, 2008

  20. “..Dude, Mcconaughey!. I heard you reaaly like to take thing up a notch”

    @ 3:44 pm on July 24, 2008