Let New Parkland Play The Naming-Rights Game
OK, so local taxpayers could be asked to underwrite up to $750 million for a new Parkland Hospital. Ouch. How about easing the burden a bit by selling “naming rights” to the thing? (After all, Jerry Jones might get $1 billion over time for the right to name the new Cowboys stadium in Arlington.) Only thing is, you’d have to be a little sensitive about which outfit wins the bidding; here’s guessing “Smith & Wesson Memorial Hospital” won’t fly.
25 Comments to “Let New Parkland Play The Naming-Rights Game”
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Just throwing out there – Cesar Chavez? Any money go with that?
John Wiley Price Memorial
Anchor Baby Memorial?
Blockbuster Cranial Surgery Center
Atmos Energy Burn Unit
FedEx/Kinkos Transplant Center
Russ Martin Addiction & Recovery Center
Actually, my sister was born at Wesson Women’s Hospital in Springfield Massachusetts (it is now known as the Wesson Women & Infants Unit of Baystate Medical Center). Springfield is the home of Smith & Wesson, and the Wesson in the hospital name is one and the same!
Enron Field Memorial Burn Center?
I weep with such joy, my new countrymen, at your generosity in building us such a fine new hospital. When El Gato Grande finally does deliver unto us our lovely cabras we shall not hesitate to show our appreciation in turn by bringing them there in their time so that their own adorable bambinos will also enjoy the finest of care as well.
If he would only help us obtain our missing cabras with the same fearless prose he has so unselfishly unleashed recently against those fey foes of elephant fajitas, we shall once again as one raise our voices on high and demand that our new hospital be named for that hero who so truly represents this new land, ¡Señor Steve!
Emilio
Let’s name is simply, The Hospital in Dallas.
With a nod to Parkland’s storied past and with a boost from a major commercial force in America: The Kennedy/Target Medical Center.
They could take a cue from the NFL broadcasts and sell naming rights to various procedures.
Jack Daniels Liver Transplant
KFC / Pizza Hut Yum Brands Angioplasty
“Time to take your Comerica blood pressure, Mr. Martin!”
“For a time after the operation, we’ll manage the pain with a Calvin Klein morphine drip…”
etc.
How about tell it like it really is, once this thing is built what will happen is Parkland is going to branch out on there own and no longer be staff by the faculty of UTSW but what would make more sense is just merge the two together and save us alot of maney on taxes, as we all know the powers to be at both hospitals do not like each other much. We all know that is why UTSW gets a break for caring for low income people (which they don’t but should)
1)The Brian Loncar Recovery and Rehabilitation Facility
2) The Lisa Garza Center for Wayward Girls
3) Hunt House for Wound Care and Recovery
4) Erica Nazem Psychiatric Center for Narcissists
5) The John Wiley Price Anger Management Clinic
I personally like “Your Mother”, with “Hospital” in teeny-tiny letters beneath.
Hey DocinFW,
“We all know” that the powers don’t like each other? Do you work for UTSW or Parkland? Historically the two entities have thrived from being joined at the hip. Why would that change with a new building?
With all the hispanic babies born there, maybe it should have a Spanish name (but NOT Chaves.) Any suggestions?
The Cuellar “El Chica” Maternity Hospital?
Collin County ARM Center.
County General
“Dollar General” Hospital
“Stop & Go” Hospital
“D” Hospital
“Neiman’s Last Call” Hospital
* Legendary Oilman T. Boone Pickens TM Hospital
* Cactus Juice Hospital
* Ghostbar Douchebag Hospital
* Rampart General Hospital
* Yoko Romo Humanitarian Hospital
* St. Wickius Catholic Hospital
La Chica Grande y ninos y ninas y mucho mas
Ninos Y Mas
I think you win, cynic. Although “Ninoeria” works, too.
Baby’s R Us
JFK’s Neurological Center
McCain’s Alzheimer Unit
Alberto Gonzales Memory Care
How about “We Tote The Note Hospital?”
St. Albatross
How about a simple infirmaria et pharmacia? SHould be easy for the future patients to understand!