You’ll remember Cooke as the daughter of former Redskins owner Jack Kent Cooke. Once upon a time, she was an SMU student — though she dropped out because she said her trust fund couldn’t cover tuition. An alert FrontBurnervian points us to news that the heiress was arrested in Boston.
Police said Cooke pulled up her skirt to moon the officer, and then gave him the middle finger, before eventually getting into the BMW and starting the engine. … Police said Cooke then asked the officer, “Do you know who I am?” and told the officer that “$1 billion goes a long way” and that he would lose his badge, according to the police report.
My kind of gal.
21 comments
Maybe she should get with Ed Belfour and pool their billions. Together, they could rule the world.
Isn’t this how everyone gets out of tickets?
$5 million wouldn’t pay for her tuition? How long was she planning to stay in school?
Tuition, criminal court cases, cars, jets, shoes, suing dad’s estate… guess a billion doesn’t actually go that far after all.
(head turn, put on shades, awkward stance … and scene)
So I wonder how she feels knowing her parents had an agreement to abort her? Maybe her father’s estate should sue her mom for breach of contract since she reneged and had the little brat.
i bet she wears pointy shoes each and every day during her collagen lip injection appointments that are making her look more and more like a Honduran trannie and, oh, how i’d like to party with her
Honduran trannie…..now THAT’s funny.
At least, if nothing else, we all learned on Friday that she would fit in the trunk of a Gallardo. With the help of a wood chipper. Right, Bethany?
In the Washington Post article, her mother complains that her $50,000 per year trust payment is supposed to be for “walking around money” rather than being used to pay such things as tuition. The (not so) poor girl never had a chance.
Exactly. And a Hefty bag, because nothing’s sadder than bits o’tranny in your Gallardo.
Since she apparently can’t “walk around” without getting into a car and driving drunk, mooning a cop or making vague (but hilarious) threats, I suggest that the $50,000 a year go towards a Rascal that has the same type of device that shopping carts at Fiesta have when you try to take them outside the confines of the parking lot. That way her special brand of rich and crazy is contained. Then we can put plexiglass around her house and I would gladly pay $5 to watch this.
How much of her $50,000 went to her bar tab that night, I wonder?
She needs to stop doing Truffle Bombs.
Lesson #328 They Never Teach You at SMU.
Lesson #329 – Mooning a police officer in real life never turns out the way it does in porn.
Amanda, I think we’ve just discovered a lucrative business as an SMU satellite school.
Hm…I tried to compete for a scholarship to attend graduate school from the Jack Kent Cooke Foundation. Imagine my surprise to learn that despite my advanced age (pushing 50), I had to provide financial data from my parents. My PARENTS! No exceptions.
So I went to my 90-year-old father and talked him into it, which wasn’t easy. I spent hours writing seven essays. Drove up to Richardson (from south Oak Cliff) to meet with the UTD advisor/nominator (you have to be nominated by your school) a few times. Provided all my financial data.
Then UTD declined to nominate me. Dunno why. Maybe I wasn’t poor enough.
OK, this is not relevant to this blog item. I just like to gripe about it at every opportunity. I hate Jack Kent Cooke. Now I hate his daughter, too.
Amanda, I think we’ve just discovered a lucrative business as an SMU satellite school.
That’s right, kids! For just a smidge under $50,000 a year, you can come to the Amanthany School of Something TBD where you will learn things like how to call cabs, where the drink specials around town can be found and how to keep from mooning cops outside a diner. Think of how proud your parents will be. In just four years, you can earn your Bachelors in Diginity. Sort of.
I’ll have my Gallardo, my tranny and my woodchipper in no time!
I’d like to see what this girl’s test scores are like.
True to blonde.
Be More Dignified Now! Ask Me How!
I really think we should offer a minor in 30K millionaire identification.
Not sure which made me chuckle more… this –
“.. Jacqueline Cooke does not qualify for financial aid because of the $5 million trust, Dick said. Yesterday he was in talks with Dallas area banks to see whether the trust could be used as collateral to take out a loan to pay her tuition…”
or her attorney’s name.