I’m sure comments will be, at best, split down the middle on this story of an autistic toddler and his mom being kicked off an American Eagle flight for raising a ruckus, so I’ll just let you folks figure out which side is right.
Note: I had updated this post before, but I think I’ll let the comments speak for themselves.
37 comments
While I detest American Airlines’ overall service and attitude, I support the pilot’s decision in this case. No matter the “indignance” of the flight attendant, and I’ve experienced that prima donna attitude first-hand, having to deal with a raging fit means the attendant cannot fully complete his/her assigned duties, especially during the critical roll-out and take-off phases. And although service is poor, the attendant can’t devote fair time to other passengers. I’m willing to bet that this mother has milked the autistic excuse to justify her own unwillingness/ inability to rear a child properly in general, and travel in particular.
@ 1:06 pm on June 25, 2008
I saw the woman’s interview on Good Morning America this morning as I got ready for work.
Having a friend with an autistic daughter, I know there were several things that could’ve been done to mitigate some of this.
For one, autistic children do have difficulty adapting to unfamiliar circumstances – and a plane would be one. While she had a bag of things that she said would calm him, she did not apparently make sure that she would be in a seat where she could have that bag stowed beneath her seat. That’s her fault, not the airline’s.It just sounds as if there was some poor planning going on.
@ 1:16 pm on June 25, 2008
While I sympathize with anyone who has an autistic child, I also sympathize with the other folks who were sardined into that American Eagle flight (presumably, at best, a 40 seater or so). I have no doubt that the flight attendant was at her/his bitchy best, did little to help the situation, and doubtless made it worse. Nevertheless, the other folks on that airplane should not have been required to endure what could have been a hellish flight with a child who could neither be calmed nor controlled. I think the pilot made the correct call.
@ 1:22 pm on June 25, 2008
Quite frankly, to hell with the news for making this a story. This should have been a story about a poor parent who assumed WAY too much and figures the rest of the world should cater her needs, but never vice versa.
For The Record nailed it. The mother clearly over-played the autisitic child card, and she has likely done it on several occasions. To hell with her for assuming that everyone else on the flight should have to endure a miserable flight just because her kid is “special.”
@ 1:37 pm on June 25, 2008
Having a special needs child myself, there are just some situations I won’t place him in. That being said, someone tase that attendant.
@ 1:39 pm on June 25, 2008
I tased one once, tased like chicken.
@ 1:46 pm on June 25, 2008
I “loved” the anchor’s lead in:
“An American Eagle flight was turned back on the runway … but not because of a terrorist threat.”
Way to play the terrorist card.
@ 2:04 pm on June 25, 2008
Looks like good PR for American to me.
@ 2:09 pm on June 25, 2008
Awesome one liner microdermer…..awesome.
Consider it stolen.
@ 2:14 pm on June 25, 2008
American has no idea what kind of can of worms they’ve opened. Now they’ll be expected to toss every unruly todder, or the terrorists will win.
@ 2:16 pm on June 25, 2008
“she’ll never fly American again…” I’m sure the folks over at AA are like, ‘whew!’
but the folks over at Amtrak….
@ 2:16 pm on June 25, 2008
Man, Bethany is going to threaten me with her pointy-toed shoes for interupting the jokes … but here is our complete statement on the issue:
“American removed a passenger from a flight out of Raleigh-Durham Monday morning because the passenger refused to comply with our flight attendant’s request to stow a carry-on bag properly. It is an FAA regulation that carry-on bags must either be stored in overhead bins or under the seat in front of a passenger. Because this passenger was seated in a “bulkhead” seat, there was no seat in front. An unsecured bag can be a safety issue to our passengers and flight attendants during take off, landing, and in instances of turbulence.
“The passenger was also traveling with a small child, who was deplaned with the parent. The child had been crying and screaming uncontrollably, to the point where the child’s wellbeing was in question. Though, ultimately, the parent’s violation of FAA regulations was the cause for removal, both situations contributed to an uncomfortable and potentially unsafe atmosphere for our passengers and crew. Our responsibility is to maintain the safety and comfort of all our passengers, therefore the captain taxied the airplane back to the gate before departure and the passengers were removed.”
Please, don’t kick me while I’m down, Bethany.
@ 2:21 pm on June 25, 2008
My best friend has an autistic son, and I am a F/A and my heart breaks that this is treated in such a callous manner. This is a case of no-one being right and no-one being wrong. The F/A had to have the stuff up from the front row because of FAA regs. and the mother needed the stuff for the child. The solution might have been to have moved the mother and child to a different seat. Just don’t be to quick to point fingers if you weren’t there. Now days everything is blown out of proportion and once the flame is fanned, the fire erupts. The airlines are an easy target nowdays. For every horrible flight there are hundreds of good ones.
@ 2:26 pm on June 25, 2008
I actually think AA did a good thing, Tim. And this pertains to the thread, and kind of affirms what I thought – she just didn’t plan.
I shan’t kick you – this time. But two questions:
1. Is your phone covered in ear sweat?
2. If say, hypothetically, I had a child with a disability and wished to travel, and alerted the airline ahead of time of my child’s disability and that I needed an aisle seat, no bulkhead, could I be accommodated?
@ 2:30 pm on June 25, 2008
Bethany,
Yes, you could be accommodated and most of the time with care and consideration.
@ 2:35 pm on June 25, 2008
I am trying so hard to watch the clip and see if I need to get my dander up…I was SO distracted by what the kid was watching on his portable TV!? I can’t figure what movie it is but me thinks it is not age appropriate…considering the 2nd time they show him watching a man is pulling his pants up…and why didn’t he (the kid) have a shirt on? Personally when I do exclusive interviews I wear a shirt (giggle). Looks like mom needs to wak up to me.
@ 2:41 pm on June 25, 2008
The great Yvonne Crum, ladies and gentlemen. I love her. And I think she’s right.
@ 2:44 pm on June 25, 2008
Now Zac, you make me blush!
This is an unfortunate situation that’s getting a lot of press these days with all the extra charges. it’s to be expected but sad none the less
@ 2:55 pm on June 25, 2008
Let me be clear. I wasn’t asking what we’d like to see happen – my question was to determine if, with proper planning on the mother’s part, this situation could have been avoided all together.
@ 2:56 pm on June 25, 2008
I truly feel for the mother and her life-long burden of caring for an autistic child. That being said, flying is not for everyone. It’s not a car or bus. If you have any “special need” (morbidly obese, autistic, panic attacks, etc) that prevents you from being able to sit quietly in a seat for 2–4 hours, then you just need to find another way to go.
What this country needs is some high-speed rail, right now.
@ 3:12 pm on June 25, 2008
I’ve flown into and out of RDU before. It’s a nice place. I can see why the kid didn’t want to leave.
That said, Julie, once we have transporter technology (Star Trek version, not giant trucks turn into world-smashing robots version), then we can avoid all this trouble and submit peacefully to our new robot overlords.
@ 3:18 pm on June 25, 2008
KellyK … I believe it’s Spiderman …
@ 3:38 pm on June 25, 2008
Bethany – yes. To both the ear sweat and planning questions.
@ 4:25 pm on June 25, 2008
How much to check him?
@ 6:21 pm on June 25, 2008
1. There is no evidence WHATSOEVER that this woman has “played the autism card before.”
2. What the heck is an “autism card” anyway? Is having disabled kid isn’t like winning the lottery? What an ignorant concept, created and supported by people with no experience and no idea.
3. You try raising an autistic child, and see how good your parenting skills are. You ever think, maybe, you have no idea what it’s like, and you’re talking our your rear, because you had the good luck not to have a disabled child?
4. The last time I took my autistic child on a plane, I was on my way to my father’s death bed. Gee, sorry, we DO have to travel sometimes. You think everyone on an airplane is going to Disney World?
@ 10:10 pm on June 25, 2008
Only when the flight is to Orlando.
@ 10:32 pm on June 25, 2008
The mother should have had the child restrained in his car seat, which are allowed on airplanes. Problem solved with a 5-point harness. Blame the flight attendanct all you want, but a thrashing out-of-control child endangers all the passengers.
@ 11:04 pm on June 25, 2008
After looking at the video again, that toddler doesn’t look severely austisic (which is just a general term for a wide spectrum of problems–some minor and some severe.) His behavior in the video looks like that of a typical toddler. If that’s the case, then she is “playing the A-card,” by claiming special needs and consideration when none is warranted.
@ 11:16 pm on June 25, 2008
Anon, So you think that by a quick glance you are able to diagnose whether a child is severely or mildly autistic? You should be on the phychic hotline. Many individuals in the field of diagnostics wish they had your ability. Kelly, many people with autism have an extreme aversion to fabric next to their skin. Thus, the mother could have been thinking ahead and allowing him not to wear a shirt to keep him calm.
@ 1:08 am on June 26, 2008
Autism is hard to diagnose. The fact that the child was autistic is a side note to being told to leave the flight. It was his behavior and his mothers inability to to control him. I understand that behavior problems are different, but just because he has that disability does not mean he should be able to act up that way on a plane, if any other child not showing any disability signs acted that way everyone would jump to blame the mother. As in this case, it was her fault she should have controlled him, she’s his mother she knows how to do that better than anyone, autism or not. If flying was a problem they should have driven. I work with autistic students on a regular basis and if one of them had been acting that way on a trip we went on we would have exited the flight without hesitation. Not to mention all the other people on the plane who also paid for their flights, should not have to put up with a child that is out of control. He behavior was different from that of a crying baby from the pressure changing.
Of course this could just be more proof, that people don’t raise their kids anymore, they just let them do whatever they want, and that’s why the worlds is as it is. Kids doing whatever, whoever, and whenever they want. And people who expect children to know how to behave are the ones punished, not the geniuses raising them.
@ 10:02 am on June 26, 2008
I don’t have an autistic child, true, but mine are unusual enough to have warranted trips to Scottish Rite for evaluation. Clothing sensitivity, yep. temper tantrums, yep. Sensitive to noises and schedule changes, yes, too. When I flew by myself, with both kids, it was HARD. But I did whatever it took, even some mild sedation, to get us through. I thought out everything, from where we sat, to when I would give them bottles to maximize the time sleeping on the trip, to the time of day. I still don’t understand why she didn’t have his carseat. It may not have stopped the screaming, but he couldn’t wiggle out of it.
@ 10:24 am on June 26, 2008
“playing the A-card,” by claiming special needs and consideration when none is warranted…using autism to get a handicapped tag for your vehicle when your child is mildly autistic and has no problem getting from point A to point B.
@ 10:25 am on June 26, 2008
When we look back at history and ask, “when did we become such a callous society?” these blog comments would be a wonderful place to start.
There’s an absolute refusal to see any gray in this issue, only black and white issues. I can assume the parents that are commenting here are the world’s trainers because there are some incredible snap judgments made within seconds of commenting.
When you have an autistic child (as I do of the same age) it isn’t as easy as “learning to control your kid” but you also need to be able to live your life, especially for the well being of the parents and siblings. It can’t be as easy as never flying or doping up the kids. And you can plan for weeks and everything can go haywire with your child for no good reason. This same thing would have happened if the woman would have had a place to put her bag, the flight attendant would have just had to come up with a better excuse. The biggest part is finding a way for the child to be able to communicate what is making them scream. And this flight attendant’s attitude could have been a huge reason.
Every day in the grocery store, rec center, schools, etc. I get dirty looks from wonderful judgmental people such as the ones on this board when my son does something abnormal. They have no idea our situation, they just know that we’ve upset them for 10 seconds because we don’t live up to their standards.
And Bravo to the “people don’t raise their kids anymore” and the Spideman 3 comment. Those were the most spectacular of all! May history judge your anger accordingly!
@ 12:38 pm on June 27, 2008
I agree with the last poster. What is wrong with you people? You obviously have no idea what it’s like to have an autistic child. Instead of feeling sorry for this woman, who may be caring for that boy the rest of her life, you judge her so harshly. And then make jokes about it. It’s as if you don’t believe autism is real. Well, I hope you don’t ever have to find out just how real it is. But I won’t feel sorry for you if you’re ever inconvenienced or annoyed by an autistic child in a restaurant, supermarket or even on a two-hour flight. That mother has to live with it 24-7. Cut her some slack.
@ 4:18 pm on June 27, 2008
Rob and Cindy, if that’s really how it is, she should cut AA some slack–it sounds like it was reacting the same way as the rest of society. Sorry that’s so callous, but when confronted with highly unusual and maniacal behavior, including out-of-control children, it is human nature to react in a negative way.
@ 10:23 pm on June 27, 2008
I can completely understand why this mother wouldn’t want to cut the airline any slack. The people on that flight were inconvenienced for a few minutes. She was embarrassed, kicked off the plane, unable to get to her destination. The inconvenience to her was 100 times that of anyone else’s. That said, I personally didn’t judge AA that harshly when I read the story, even though I’m also the mother of an autistic child. I thought it was probably an overreaction, but I also hoped that AA would learn something from it and maybe be better able to deal with that type of situation in the future. I didn’t swear off the airline.
But the posts here … this is some of the most offensive stuff I’ve ever read. I realize a lot of it is simple ignorance. But those of you who wrote here should know how hurtful and offensive it is to those of us living with this.
And in regards to that particular mother: Autism in those toddler years is probably the hardest for a parent. An autistic toddler often has the communication and social skills of an infant, but since they look like every other kid, strangers assume they’re really fine and should act like every other kid. But they don’t relate to you or understand you. They don’t respond to any discipline. None of the advice for managing a typical child ever works. In fact, it usually backfires. The kids’ reactions are mystifying and wildly unpredictable. A touch could easily send a kid into an uncontrollable rage — one in which they might actually hurt themselves or others. They also don’t always react to medications normally. A doctor gave my son a valium to “calm” him before a blood draw, but instead he became extremely hyper and aggressive. I’m glad he didn’t prescribe one before a flight.
@ 11:53 pm on June 27, 2008
Thanks for summing up this thread, LM.
Could you maybe next give us a lesson on how if alcoholics “tried a little harder” when they had a few drinks they wouldn’t relapse or if cancer patients undergoing chemo would just be able to “stay in control” they wouldn’t have to throw up as much?
It’s a neurological disorder, but you clearly have no understanding of that. There’s not a cure. There’s no way to turn it on or off. You learn to deal with it and you still have to live your life.
This woman was trying to live her life by taking a plane flight. She was humiliated by a flight attendant and taken off the plane because of her autistic son, not because of the excuse AA gave. (How many people illegally hide bags under their feet in the first row of those small AA planes? Quite a few I would imagine – I’ve done it – but you can only not get away with it when you have a child making a lot of noise.
Was this woman 100 percent in the right? I’m sure she wasn’t, in fact it’s probably closer to 50-50. But instead of showing empathy for the woman humiliated and kicked off the plane you decide to say things like:
-Can’t she control her kid?
-Can’t she plan better than to sit in the first row?
-This just shows that parents give their kids everything now, and can’t even discipline a kid with a complex neurological order?
-She was playing the autism card?
And why? Well, because her son has a neurological disorder that has become 800% more prevalent in the past 10 years. Wow, what a b*tch. I can see why she deserves attacking.
Oh, and you attack her for having her child watch Spiderman 3 at an age you deem too young. Forget about the fact that the child may not have the cognitive capacity to understand what’s on the screen, and certainly don’t think about the fact that the Spiderman DVD may be his favorite thing in the world to watch, and that he watches it at least 20 times a day (it’s called stemming). And most certainly don’t think about the fact that the Spiderman DVD may be THE ONLY THING SHE HAS THAT TRULY MAKES HER SON HAPPY.
What, you don’t understand that, you just want to go back to judging her and making elementary school taser jokes? Have at it, Emilio, have at it.
@ 12:04 am on June 28, 2008
FrontBurner® launched in March 2003, the first blog in Dallas run by a media organization. This is where the editors of D Magazine come to waste a tremendous amount of time.
37 comments
While I detest American Airlines’ overall service and attitude, I support the pilot’s decision in this case. No matter the “indignance” of the flight attendant, and I’ve experienced that prima donna attitude first-hand, having to deal with a raging fit means the attendant cannot fully complete his/her assigned duties, especially during the critical roll-out and take-off phases. And although service is poor, the attendant can’t devote fair time to other passengers. I’m willing to bet that this mother has milked the autistic excuse to justify her own unwillingness/ inability to rear a child properly in general, and travel in particular.
I saw the woman’s interview on Good Morning America this morning as I got ready for work.
Having a friend with an autistic daughter, I know there were several things that could’ve been done to mitigate some of this.
For one, autistic children do have difficulty adapting to unfamiliar circumstances – and a plane would be one. While she had a bag of things that she said would calm him, she did not apparently make sure that she would be in a seat where she could have that bag stowed beneath her seat. That’s her fault, not the airline’s.It just sounds as if there was some poor planning going on.
While I sympathize with anyone who has an autistic child, I also sympathize with the other folks who were sardined into that American Eagle flight (presumably, at best, a 40 seater or so). I have no doubt that the flight attendant was at her/his bitchy best, did little to help the situation, and doubtless made it worse. Nevertheless, the other folks on that airplane should not have been required to endure what could have been a hellish flight with a child who could neither be calmed nor controlled. I think the pilot made the correct call.
Quite frankly, to hell with the news for making this a story. This should have been a story about a poor parent who assumed WAY too much and figures the rest of the world should cater her needs, but never vice versa.
For The Record nailed it. The mother clearly over-played the autisitic child card, and she has likely done it on several occasions. To hell with her for assuming that everyone else on the flight should have to endure a miserable flight just because her kid is “special.”
Having a special needs child myself, there are just some situations I won’t place him in. That being said, someone tase that attendant.
I tased one once, tased like chicken.
I “loved” the anchor’s lead in:
“An American Eagle flight was turned back on the runway … but not because of a terrorist threat.”
Way to play the terrorist card.
Looks like good PR for American to me.
Awesome one liner microdermer…..awesome.
Consider it stolen.
American has no idea what kind of can of worms they’ve opened. Now they’ll be expected to toss every unruly todder, or the terrorists will win.
“she’ll never fly American again…” I’m sure the folks over at AA are like, ‘whew!’
but the folks over at Amtrak….
Man, Bethany is going to threaten me with her pointy-toed shoes for interupting the jokes … but here is our complete statement on the issue:
“American removed a passenger from a flight out of Raleigh-Durham Monday morning because the passenger refused to comply with our flight attendant’s request to stow a carry-on bag properly. It is an FAA regulation that carry-on bags must either be stored in overhead bins or under the seat in front of a passenger. Because this passenger was seated in a “bulkhead” seat, there was no seat in front. An unsecured bag can be a safety issue to our passengers and flight attendants during take off, landing, and in instances of turbulence.
“The passenger was also traveling with a small child, who was deplaned with the parent. The child had been crying and screaming uncontrollably, to the point where the child’s wellbeing was in question. Though, ultimately, the parent’s violation of FAA regulations was the cause for removal, both situations contributed to an uncomfortable and potentially unsafe atmosphere for our passengers and crew. Our responsibility is to maintain the safety and comfort of all our passengers, therefore the captain taxied the airplane back to the gate before departure and the passengers were removed.”
Please, don’t kick me while I’m down, Bethany.
My best friend has an autistic son, and I am a F/A and my heart breaks that this is treated in such a callous manner. This is a case of no-one being right and no-one being wrong. The F/A had to have the stuff up from the front row because of FAA regs. and the mother needed the stuff for the child. The solution might have been to have moved the mother and child to a different seat. Just don’t be to quick to point fingers if you weren’t there. Now days everything is blown out of proportion and once the flame is fanned, the fire erupts. The airlines are an easy target nowdays. For every horrible flight there are hundreds of good ones.
I actually think AA did a good thing, Tim. And this pertains to the thread, and kind of affirms what I thought – she just didn’t plan.
I shan’t kick you – this time. But two questions:
1. Is your phone covered in ear sweat?
2. If say, hypothetically, I had a child with a disability and wished to travel, and alerted the airline ahead of time of my child’s disability and that I needed an aisle seat, no bulkhead, could I be accommodated?
Bethany,
Yes, you could be accommodated and most of the time with care and consideration.
I am trying so hard to watch the clip and see if I need to get my dander up…I was SO distracted by what the kid was watching on his portable TV!? I can’t figure what movie it is but me thinks it is not age appropriate…considering the 2nd time they show him watching a man is pulling his pants up…and why didn’t he (the kid) have a shirt on? Personally when I do exclusive interviews I wear a shirt (giggle). Looks like mom needs to wak up to me.
The great Yvonne Crum, ladies and gentlemen. I love her. And I think she’s right.
Now Zac, you make me blush!
This is an unfortunate situation that’s getting a lot of press these days with all the extra charges. it’s to be expected but sad none the less
Let me be clear. I wasn’t asking what we’d like to see happen – my question was to determine if, with proper planning on the mother’s part, this situation could have been avoided all together.
I truly feel for the mother and her life-long burden of caring for an autistic child. That being said, flying is not for everyone. It’s not a car or bus. If you have any “special need” (morbidly obese, autistic, panic attacks, etc) that prevents you from being able to sit quietly in a seat for 2–4 hours, then you just need to find another way to go.
What this country needs is some high-speed rail, right now.
I’ve flown into and out of RDU before. It’s a nice place. I can see why the kid didn’t want to leave.
That said, Julie, once we have transporter technology (Star Trek version, not giant trucks turn into world-smashing robots version), then we can avoid all this trouble and submit peacefully to our new robot overlords.
KellyK … I believe it’s Spiderman …
Bethany – yes. To both the ear sweat and planning questions.
How much to check him?
1. There is no evidence WHATSOEVER that this woman has “played the autism card before.”
2. What the heck is an “autism card” anyway? Is having disabled kid isn’t like winning the lottery? What an ignorant concept, created and supported by people with no experience and no idea.
3. You try raising an autistic child, and see how good your parenting skills are. You ever think, maybe, you have no idea what it’s like, and you’re talking our your rear, because you had the good luck not to have a disabled child?
4. The last time I took my autistic child on a plane, I was on my way to my father’s death bed. Gee, sorry, we DO have to travel sometimes. You think everyone on an airplane is going to Disney World?
Only when the flight is to Orlando.
The mother should have had the child restrained in his car seat, which are allowed on airplanes. Problem solved with a 5-point harness. Blame the flight attendanct all you want, but a thrashing out-of-control child endangers all the passengers.
After looking at the video again, that toddler doesn’t look severely austisic (which is just a general term for a wide spectrum of problems–some minor and some severe.) His behavior in the video looks like that of a typical toddler. If that’s the case, then she is “playing the A-card,” by claiming special needs and consideration when none is warranted.
Anon, So you think that by a quick glance you are able to diagnose whether a child is severely or mildly autistic? You should be on the phychic hotline. Many individuals in the field of diagnostics wish they had your ability. Kelly, many people with autism have an extreme aversion to fabric next to their skin. Thus, the mother could have been thinking ahead and allowing him not to wear a shirt to keep him calm.
Autism is hard to diagnose. The fact that the child was autistic is a side note to being told to leave the flight. It was his behavior and his mothers inability to to control him. I understand that behavior problems are different, but just because he has that disability does not mean he should be able to act up that way on a plane, if any other child not showing any disability signs acted that way everyone would jump to blame the mother. As in this case, it was her fault she should have controlled him, she’s his mother she knows how to do that better than anyone, autism or not. If flying was a problem they should have driven. I work with autistic students on a regular basis and if one of them had been acting that way on a trip we went on we would have exited the flight without hesitation. Not to mention all the other people on the plane who also paid for their flights, should not have to put up with a child that is out of control. He behavior was different from that of a crying baby from the pressure changing.
Of course this could just be more proof, that people don’t raise their kids anymore, they just let them do whatever they want, and that’s why the worlds is as it is. Kids doing whatever, whoever, and whenever they want. And people who expect children to know how to behave are the ones punished, not the geniuses raising them.
I don’t have an autistic child, true, but mine are unusual enough to have warranted trips to Scottish Rite for evaluation. Clothing sensitivity, yep. temper tantrums, yep. Sensitive to noises and schedule changes, yes, too. When I flew by myself, with both kids, it was HARD. But I did whatever it took, even some mild sedation, to get us through. I thought out everything, from where we sat, to when I would give them bottles to maximize the time sleeping on the trip, to the time of day. I still don’t understand why she didn’t have his carseat. It may not have stopped the screaming, but he couldn’t wiggle out of it.
“playing the A-card,” by claiming special needs and consideration when none is warranted…using autism to get a handicapped tag for your vehicle when your child is mildly autistic and has no problem getting from point A to point B.
When we look back at history and ask, “when did we become such a callous society?” these blog comments would be a wonderful place to start.
There’s an absolute refusal to see any gray in this issue, only black and white issues. I can assume the parents that are commenting here are the world’s trainers because there are some incredible snap judgments made within seconds of commenting.
When you have an autistic child (as I do of the same age) it isn’t as easy as “learning to control your kid” but you also need to be able to live your life, especially for the well being of the parents and siblings. It can’t be as easy as never flying or doping up the kids. And you can plan for weeks and everything can go haywire with your child for no good reason. This same thing would have happened if the woman would have had a place to put her bag, the flight attendant would have just had to come up with a better excuse. The biggest part is finding a way for the child to be able to communicate what is making them scream. And this flight attendant’s attitude could have been a huge reason.
Every day in the grocery store, rec center, schools, etc. I get dirty looks from wonderful judgmental people such as the ones on this board when my son does something abnormal. They have no idea our situation, they just know that we’ve upset them for 10 seconds because we don’t live up to their standards.
And Bravo to the “people don’t raise their kids anymore” and the Spideman 3 comment. Those were the most spectacular of all! May history judge your anger accordingly!
I agree with the last poster. What is wrong with you people? You obviously have no idea what it’s like to have an autistic child. Instead of feeling sorry for this woman, who may be caring for that boy the rest of her life, you judge her so harshly. And then make jokes about it. It’s as if you don’t believe autism is real. Well, I hope you don’t ever have to find out just how real it is. But I won’t feel sorry for you if you’re ever inconvenienced or annoyed by an autistic child in a restaurant, supermarket or even on a two-hour flight. That mother has to live with it 24-7. Cut her some slack.
Rob and Cindy, if that’s really how it is, she should cut AA some slack–it sounds like it was reacting the same way as the rest of society. Sorry that’s so callous, but when confronted with highly unusual and maniacal behavior, including out-of-control children, it is human nature to react in a negative way.
I can completely understand why this mother wouldn’t want to cut the airline any slack. The people on that flight were inconvenienced for a few minutes. She was embarrassed, kicked off the plane, unable to get to her destination. The inconvenience to her was 100 times that of anyone else’s. That said, I personally didn’t judge AA that harshly when I read the story, even though I’m also the mother of an autistic child. I thought it was probably an overreaction, but I also hoped that AA would learn something from it and maybe be better able to deal with that type of situation in the future. I didn’t swear off the airline.
But the posts here … this is some of the most offensive stuff I’ve ever read. I realize a lot of it is simple ignorance. But those of you who wrote here should know how hurtful and offensive it is to those of us living with this.
And in regards to that particular mother: Autism in those toddler years is probably the hardest for a parent. An autistic toddler often has the communication and social skills of an infant, but since they look like every other kid, strangers assume they’re really fine and should act like every other kid. But they don’t relate to you or understand you. They don’t respond to any discipline. None of the advice for managing a typical child ever works. In fact, it usually backfires. The kids’ reactions are mystifying and wildly unpredictable. A touch could easily send a kid into an uncontrollable rage — one in which they might actually hurt themselves or others. They also don’t always react to medications normally. A doctor gave my son a valium to “calm” him before a blood draw, but instead he became extremely hyper and aggressive. I’m glad he didn’t prescribe one before a flight.
Thanks for summing up this thread, LM.
Could you maybe next give us a lesson on how if alcoholics “tried a little harder” when they had a few drinks they wouldn’t relapse or if cancer patients undergoing chemo would just be able to “stay in control” they wouldn’t have to throw up as much?
It’s a neurological disorder, but you clearly have no understanding of that. There’s not a cure. There’s no way to turn it on or off. You learn to deal with it and you still have to live your life.
This woman was trying to live her life by taking a plane flight. She was humiliated by a flight attendant and taken off the plane because of her autistic son, not because of the excuse AA gave. (How many people illegally hide bags under their feet in the first row of those small AA planes? Quite a few I would imagine – I’ve done it – but you can only not get away with it when you have a child making a lot of noise.
Was this woman 100 percent in the right? I’m sure she wasn’t, in fact it’s probably closer to 50-50. But instead of showing empathy for the woman humiliated and kicked off the plane you decide to say things like:
-Can’t she control her kid?
-Can’t she plan better than to sit in the first row?
-This just shows that parents give their kids everything now, and can’t even discipline a kid with a complex neurological order?
-She was playing the autism card?
And why? Well, because her son has a neurological disorder that has become 800% more prevalent in the past 10 years. Wow, what a b*tch. I can see why she deserves attacking.
Oh, and you attack her for having her child watch Spiderman 3 at an age you deem too young. Forget about the fact that the child may not have the cognitive capacity to understand what’s on the screen, and certainly don’t think about the fact that the Spiderman DVD may be his favorite thing in the world to watch, and that he watches it at least 20 times a day (it’s called stemming). And most certainly don’t think about the fact that the Spiderman DVD may be THE ONLY THING SHE HAS THAT TRULY MAKES HER SON HAPPY.
What, you don’t understand that, you just want to go back to judging her and making elementary school taser jokes? Have at it, Emilio, have at it.