Cease the Grease Week is Here
Color me late to this party: Last week Mayor Tom Leppert officially declared June 1-7 as “Cease the Grease Week” in Dallas. (Sorry, DWU, it takes me a while to get through my e-mails.) Anywhoo, you grease fiends need to quick blocking up the sewers with your bacon grease and learn how to recycle it properly. (No, Zac, you don’t drink it.) Dallas Water Utilities and Griffin Industries officials will be happy to take that yucky stuff out of your hands and teach you how to deal it in the future. Click here for an insightful “Perry the Pipe” instructional video. He’s a nice pipe. Clean and shiny. Go, now.
9 Comments to “Cease the Grease Week is Here”
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Perry the Pipe looks like he’s um, greasing a pipe, if you know what I mean.
Bethany, I don’t. Please go on…
Well, it appears as if his hand is grasping an imaginary something, and moving in a vertical motion, slowly, you see.
Damn it. Perry’s a P-trap, not a pipe!
You can drink bacon grease, but there’s a trick to it: You have to wait until it’s cooled but hasn’t yet begun to congeal. As in all matters culinary, timing is paramount.
And Bethany, I just don’t know. Maybe Perry the Pipe is a kind of Rorschach test, a walking repository of human transgressions, more bulletin board than confessor, since, alas, he’s powerless to forgive or condemn. But he doesn’t look like he’s wanking to me. He looks like something he took has him all wound up like a firecracker, and he stands on the cusp of an onslaught of ill-considered actions. Jacked up not off, if you will.
Maybe if Perry got a little more P-trap, he wouldn’t have to… well, you know.
I’ve been waiting for a Cease the Grease campaign for years. Finally an end to those damned kids from Rydell High!
Maybe if all the storm drains in Dallas were actually labeled “Storm Drain”, as they are in the animation, that would also serve to alleviate much confusion and possibly even raise awareness.
Of course whichever contractor the city hired would likely misunderstand the directive and mistakenly label them “Motor Oil Disposal Grates” instead.
So THAT’s what the mayor was doing with the dummy in the photo from the other column. He’s just greasing his P-trap.