Southwest Passenger Now On My List
Few things get me more riled up than airplane passengers who act like 5-year-olds. This story, about a Southwest Airlines passenger who refused to hang up his cell phone during a flight (and who was met on the ground by police), got me boiling, and I’m nowhere near an airplane. Seriously, if I’d been on that guy’s row, I’m sure I would be in jail right now for assault. Not even joking.
Let’s review a few of Eric’s simple rules for flying:
- If you have a problem with authority, don’t fly.
- If you have control issues, don’t fly.
- If you don’t like to hear screaming babies, don’t fly, or bring headphones. Because they will be on your flight. Cost of doing business.
- If you think you have to know why a flight attendant has asked you to do something, you’re wrong. Just do it.
- If you think I care about the story you read that shows planes really aren’t affected by cell phone signals, or that you’ve never before been asked to store your overnight bag in the overhead compartment and you fly all the time, or that you haven’t felt any turbulence so why should you have to keep your seatbelt buckled, or that you need to prep for your big presentation and that’s why you had to get into the overhead bin when the seatbelt sign was fastened, well, guess what, you’re wrong. Shut up and do what you’re told.
43 Comments to “Southwest Passenger Now On My List”
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So the shave-head look isn’t just a fashion statement, huh?
When they tell you to wait on the tarmac for eight hours without using the restrooms any more because they’re flooded…?
I bet this guy also does not think ANY speed limit applies to him. 90 on the Tollway? Not a problem.
I always sit next to or near these jerks who recline their seats, or take off their belts, or turn their iPod back on after the final pre-departure compliance check. One time I just asked a guy “do you have a problem with following rules?” He didn’t answer. What can you do?
Eric, I completely agree with all of your points. It would be nice, of course, if the airlines held up their end of the bargain — airlines will routinely lie and manipulate their passengers for a variety of reasons (e.g., no food and water for 8-12 hours after pulling away from the gate, sitting on the tarmac, etc.) Following the rules should be a 2-way street.
Are the five rules translated from the original German?
As a frequent business flyer- I completely agree with Eric. Get over it people and do what is asked of you.
Spirit has become a better magazine since Stalin resigned as the editor.
what are the airlines going to say when they offer wi-fi in the sky (there are 2 proposed methods, one from the ground, and one locally on the plane. Turn on your cellphone in the air sometime, it works now and pics up the cell towers on the ground”. “We turned off the satelittes during take off.” there is going to be a point where they are going to look kinda foolish when they go ahead and let us use cellular technology on the plane. And it is messes with the ****pit and communications, why can we use it when taxi-ing around DFW? I would assume they would still be communicating with ground control at that time, telling them minor things like wait there for a plane to land before crossing that runway. No problem about anything that may now let me get outta the plane in the case of an emergency (like your big bag)
And yes, I have trouble with rules.
tell ‘em, E, keep preaching to the numbskulls out there that believe they’re entitled to live some life of unbound privilege
i, too, have little patience for the folks that get upset at having to turn of cell phone/PDA/i-pod as the plane boards and takes off…and i see it more as a courtesy to other passengers during the boarding process rather than anything else
also i’m 6′5″ and usually am able to keep the seat in its upback position for the 8-10 minutes it takes from board to 30,000 feet despite the uncomfort. amazing what those 5 degrees of recline can do for the lumbar
now please figure out a way to demonstrate how to put carry-on luggage in wheels first so others bags can fit in the overhead…
babies should not be allowed on planes…
no one cares that you laid still for 10 minutes then 9 months later became a mother. have some respect for the masses, they are more important than you and your “little blessing”
Are you freaking kidding me William? How the hell did you get here?
maybe he’s a Vulcan, as i think they’re hatched from androgynous lifeforms
or is that natives of the planet Melmac? i forget
William, please do the world a favor and do not breed. The world could do without another narcissist.
Will, the Douche Bar called and said your reservation for 1 is ready.
mother issues?
knucklehead
I don’t fly, but reading Eric’s rules and other responses helps me understand why there can’t be peace on our planet — there are too many airline passengers walking around eitherblatantly ignoring rules or childishly enforcing dumb rules and being indignant and willing to punch it out with someone if the iPod isn’t shut off, you don’t keep your shoes on or you are a crying baby. Thank God in High Heaven that flight didn’t have a chick in hot pants.
Wick, time to cut down on Eric’s freelancing at American Way Magazine.
Before you condemn the guy, you need the whole story. And you don’t have it yet.
I once was on a SWA flight with a guy that sounds just like this jerk. We hit some wicked turbulence and he was whimpering like a baby, asking the flight attendants (the same ones he belittled and snapped at when asked to comply) to please tell him when it was going to be over. Karma.
People just don’t get team sports anymore.
Whilst sort of on the topic – can someone explain the rule to me that some airlines still enforce about not having your windowshades down on takeoff and landing?
I’m sure it’s some antiquated reasoning (the pilots need the extra light?) similar to the need to explain how to connect and disconnect one’s seatbelt (how did these people get to the airport?)
william should not be allowed on planes…
no one cares that his mom laid still for 10 minutes then 9 months later became a mother. have some respect for the masses, william, they are more important than you and your “little chip”
Yeah, the comments to this post remind me how ignorant some people are.
Eric’s posts translated from German? You should be able to do it because the airlines lie? Babies shouldn’t be allowed on planes?
Wow people. Just wow.
thanks Eric, well said. as another frequent business flyer have had the recent experience of sitting next two folks who didn’t want to unplug for the few minutes it took for the take off and landing.
If I may just add one other rule. If you cann’t physically lift your carry-on luggage over your head and place it unaided into the overhead bin, DO NOT bring on carry on luggage. Check it! and wait at the carousel for it to be delivered to you.
cant get my cell to work in flight. ummh. must upgrade to get towers signal while flying. Fly? I hate it and try to avoid flying. That is why I do lots of driving. leave when I want. stop when I want. talk when I want. no gestapo to clear with before getting in my car. sure it takes a bit longer but this is my choice.
The way that Eric feels about other passengers on the plane is equivalent to the way Republicans feel about Democrats. We get just as boiling mad.
I agree with Eric. The issue isn’t whether airlines “lie” (they do) or that the rules may be irrational. Instead, it’s a matter of common courtesy to the other passengers to follow instructions. I travel all the time and one of these above-the-law douchebags is on just about every flight I have taken. It is absolutely true that airlines have reduced air travel to a horror. Commercial air travel is a uniformly uncomfortable, dehumanizing and miserable experience. But that just makes it all the more important for passengers to just suck it up, stay quiet, and don’t make it worse for everyone else.
That said, if your plane is stuck on the tarmac for 4 hours or more with no bathrooms, water etc., then the rules change. If the crew refuses to open the doors, passengers are entitled to peaceably take control of the cabin (not the ****pit of course) for the sole purpose of opening the emergency exits and helping themselves off the plane in an orderly fashion.
Eric’s rules 1 through 5 are why I drive whenever possible. Air travel is horrible unless you own or pilot the plane.
I had one more: 6) If you have a problem with the stale nauseating smell of a commercial plane, don’t fly
And after reading Eric’s post, I’ve got another: 7) If you’d prefer not to be amateur air-marshalled by a D Magazine staffer when you fail to turn off your iPod, don’t fly.
Maybe we should start thinking about high-speed electric rail again. Remember when TGV wanted to bring it to Texas and Southwest pushed the Lege to block it? It would have been up and running by now.
I heard the gentleman was talking to the hospital because his father, who was in the hospital for cardiac arrest, had flatlined.
Joe David Jones, 50, was cited for disorderly conduct, Dallas police said.
The incident occurred during a Southwest flight from Austin to Dallas. “After multiple requests, the flight attendants were not successful in getting the passenger to get off the phone,” said Southwest spokeswoman Brandy King.
According to a Dallas police report, flight attendants had asked Mr. Jones to turn off his cell phone and he responded with, “Kiss my —.” When asked again, he stated, “Kiss my —. Not happening,” the report said.
Hey dallasnewsgirl, what else do you need to know??
another rumor had dude on the phone with pregnant wife that was in labor. looks like he was on the phone with a hospital in some capacity, but that still don’t make it right
also overheard a certain daily newspaper is going A1 with this tomorrow. wonder if they’ll use the kiss my arse quote…sadly doubt it
I have to agree with the apparently despised William. People should not take babies onto planes. It’s rude. Wait until your children are at least one, maybe 18 months. Why people think this is any different from taking a baby into a movie theater baffles me. An aircraft cabin is not anyone’s personal living room. If you must travel to see family and friends for that first year, drive. And yes, I am a parent. A courteous, normal parent.
Sedagive –
Let me see movie, transportation – you got me.
A movie and an airplane are two completely different animals. A terrible comparison.
I have over 2 million miles on American and I promise you the ratio of obnoxious adults to crying babies is about 4 or 5 to 1.
Let me tell you what is rude – flossing your teeth, flatulence, overly perfumed women, clipping your fingernails and/or toenails and body odor, etc…
The list is long but distinguished.
I would rather have a crying baby next me (thanks ipod) than someone who feels that personal hygiene is optional.
Babies are much more tolerant than the all-important businessman on a flight. Even if they comply with the rules as to when to use your cell, you still have to listen to his phone call during the permitted times. Why do these people feel the need to talk so much louder when they are on the phone? Just because you can’t see the person doesn’t mean you have to yell. Everyone within 15 rows can hear their all important conversation. I bet more than half the time they aren’t talking to anybody but rather faking it for some reason to try and seem even more important. The calls go either one of two ways: Either they are telling their assistant about the huge deal they just allegedly closed and tossing out big dollar figures or they are telling somebody how important they are and unfortunately they are on a plane right now or else somebody’s head would be rolling because something wasn’t done. But rest assured once they get back to the office there will be hell to pay.
I’d much rather listen to a baby cry than some attention seeking self proclaimed business leader/doctor that thinks random people will go home and wish they were as important as he is.
Plus too often I seem to be around doctors in the terminal pacing around talking loudly so the whole gate can hear them solve their latest dilema. Can’t we go back to the days of people being tethered to the phone by an 8 foot cord?
not william:
Forgive me for cutting in your conversation with sedagive, but I couldn’t help laugh at your comments. First you condemn those who floss teeth or cut fingernails/toenails. Then you say you’d rather be next to a baby than somebody who feels personal hygiene is optional. At the very least, isn’t flossing a part of personal hygiene? I guess fingernail/toenail cutting would too. You confuse me.
His father was flatlining? Really? For an hour? B.S.
I agree that it is better to sit near a fussy baby than an adult who doesn’t know how to behave in public or observe basic social customs. Within the last week, I’ve had the following experiences while flying:
1. On an AA flight from DFW to LAX, a man in his 60s across the aisle from me picked his nose literally for the entire flight. I mean he never took a finger out of his nostril except to look at it. I couldn’t turn my head to the left without being forced to see it.
2. LAN Chile apparently doesn’t require its flight attendants to bathe. The stench of two male flight attendants was so foul that a woman sitting next to me held a napkin over her face whenever one of them came by.
We had crying babies too but I would have traded places to be next to them.
Ground the Jett -
Have you ever sat on a plane and heard the mumblings of a man in the middle of a floss? The constant moaning
that he is enjoying that thin strip of floss to an embarrassing “climax”?
The distinctive sound of toenail clippers and you then turn around to see a man with both shoes and socks off blissfully ignorant of everyone else and sending toenail shards flying within a four foot radius of his seat?
I have.
So laugh away at my comments – I still stand by them.
I, on the other hand, will laugh with Neal and the thought of the man in his 60s doing a brain message for an entire flight. At least he didn’t eat them!
Ground, I do agree with your comments about the mobile phone. Why is it that people talk louder when the plane is on the tarmac?
That should have been “brain MASSAGE” above – my bad.
To all the guys who post on The Burn: William is prime example of why you should ALWAYS wear a condom.
ALWAYS.
PS. Don’t like commercial air? Go get a license and buy your own plane.
Actually, the man on the plane was Dale Hansen. He was talking to the WFAA General Manager who was telling Dale that his ratings were flatlining.
Someone at the New York Times has been reading this blog: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/05/09/whats-really-in-that-seat-back-pocket
People. No one is going to paste a gold star to your forehead for following the rules. Follow ‘em yourself and MYOB.
William: thank you.
SLR: yeah, it really just pisses your Republicans off when you can’t force the rest of us to live by your stupid rules, doesn’t it? Rules which, I dare say, you seldom feel the need to follow yourself. Get over it.
G the Jett: didn’t get thru college, no professional job, and now fantasizes that “businessmen” are holding fanciful conversations on cell phones just to make others jealous. Puh-leeze.