Overheard in the Office: One in a Series

From Nancy:

“Wait! You mean we can instant message from our computers?”

FireAvery.com Creator Fires Himself

Greg Holland, the guy who beat everyone else to the domain name that would sum up the second half of the Mavs’ season, is giving up blogging.

Which works out just fine, because a Knicks fan is going to need that in about three/four seasons.

[slow clap]

Watch the Stars Under the Stars

Wanna watch the Dallas Stars battle the Detroit Red Wings tonight, but don’t know where to go? We know, sitting at home’s too boring, and going to a bar is too loud. Or something like that. Anyway, come down to Victory Park and watch it alfresco right in front of the gosh darn AAC. For free! Bring chairs, some cash for “refreshments,” eyes for oogling at the Dallas Stars Planet Tan Ice Girls (not sure who they are but guessing they are probably hot), and your team spirit. The game will be shown on the humongous HD screens on all sides of AT&T Plaza, so you won’t miss an icing.

These “official watching parties” will take place during all games of the Western Conference Finals. After the jump, the schedule and press release.

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Tom Waits Is Coming. Tom Waits Is Coming. Tom Waits Is Coming.

As the man himself explains in the video press conference below, Dallas puts the “D” in “PEHDTSCKJMBA.” Waits brings his Glitter and Doom Tour to the Palladium Room June 23. Tickets go on sale May 16. No, I don’t know of any secrets to get tickets before then. If I did, I’d tell you–but only after I made double sure I got mine.

Kermit the Frog Covers Elliott Smith (And The Royal Tennenbaums)

Since Elliott Smith grew up around here, and Luke Wilson starred in the scene being referenced, that’s enough of an excuse for this amazing piece of video.

TGI Friday’s COO to Unpack His Luggage in California

That’s because the Friday’s executive has left the Carrollton-based company to head up Applebee’s. So I guess his job will be to take the Applebee’s menu and overall dining experience and Fridayize it. One guess: They make it Saturdaze, the restaurant where Liz Lemon cheerfully ordered “the fried onion tower for two, for one.”

Avner Samuel Drops A Bomb

I just finished talking with Aurora’s chef/owner Avner Samuel and he’s got some big new plans in the works. He swore me to secrecy but I crossed my fingers behind my back. All I can say is that he’s making some big ch-ch-ch-changes and it makes me hungry. Now I will sit here at my desk and wait for him to come across the street and hit me over the head with a copper sauce pan for opening my big fat mouth. I just can’t keep a secret. Y’all want to guess?

Entertainment Weekly’s First Look at Oliver Stone’s W

I admit: when I first heard about Oliver Stone’s biopic about the famous former (and future) Dallas resident and amateur librarian, I thought they casted the roles too young. But after looking at the cover, and the closeup of Josh Brolin here, I have to say, I’m intrigued.

I am, however, still holding out hope that the always-awesome Elizabeth Banks’ take on Laura Bush is somewhere in the ballpark of her character from The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Because that would be great.

Red Wings in Seven Seems to Be the Consensus

That’s what the experts say. And I think that’s what the handsome gentleman to the left says, since he’s a Wings fan. I say: nothing. Ask Adam. I just struggled to name more than three guys on the team. I’ve watched 15 minutes all season. But, uh, go Stars.

Texas Unemployment Lowest In 25 Years

So says the Dallas Federal Reserve, as reported by the DBJ. I swear — swear — I’m not trying to stir up the anti-immigrant jihadists, but what was your point again?

Rep. Dan Branch Has a Sock Puppet in His Office

“Socket puppetry,” in the online sense, is the practice of making anonymous comments about someone or something in which you have a professional interest. The most famous recent case of sock puppetry was perpetrated by John Mackey, CEO of Whole Foods, who used a fake identity on Yahoo message boards for years to attack his competition and pump his company’s stock.

With that background, I point you to a FrontBurner post last month about Rep. Dan Branch’s horrible parking job at Love Field (and thanks again to the FrontBurnervian in the field who sent the pic). Here’s the first comment on that post, from someone using the handle “frequent flyer”:

Has this person parked at Love recently? They’re ALWAYS out of spots- I’ve used the end of the aisle a number of times (when it’s available) because there’s no signs prohibiting it. Must be a slow news day…

To be sure, this is a small matter — inconsiderate behavior on the part of an elected official (or someone driving that elected official’s car). But that comment from “frequent flyer,” I believe, is a case of sock puppetry. A tipster told me that the post was made by a senior Branch staff member. The IP address of the computer used to make the post appears to confirm it. The post definitely came from a Texas Lege computer.

I wanted to ask Candice Shapiro, Branch’s chief of staff, about this. She hasn’t returned my call or e-mail.

Leading Off

1. Leaving two kids (a 2-year-old girl and a 5-year-old boy) alone, barefoot, in a boarded-up house with no running water or electricity, no food, toilets that Andy Dufresne wouldn’t crawl through, razorblades and broken glass on the floor, a loaded 9mm pistol on the window ledge, general filth everywhere–Gregory Amphy, you are officially the worst father in Dallas and on the short list for worst human. I hope prison treats you poorly.

2. Duncanville takes another swing at shutting down The Cherry Pit. You see what I did there? You can’t teach that.

3. Eric’s worst fear looks to be on the verge of reality: Rick Carlisle’s agent says a deal to become the Mavs’ new coach should be finalized today. Actually, Eric’s worst fear probably involves a nuclear explosion at a .38 Special concert in Vegas. Or someone showing him a study that links P90X and heavy intake of meal-replacement bars to brain cancer. But this is in the top 10.