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Get Ready For About 48 Aggie Jokes in the Comments

Reveille VIIII’d like to tee this up for FB Nation. So, looks like Reveille VII, the attractive lass you see pictured here, is retiring. Texas A&M needs a new mascot. So of course it formed a 16-member search committee. Jump for the full memo that describes what it is they’re looking for in Reveille VIII (spoiler alert: “healthy,” “outgoing,” “not afraid of noise”):

1 May 2008

MEMORANDUM

TO:                            Texas A&M Students, Faculty & Staff

FROM:                       Dr. Dean L. Bresciani, Vice President for Student Affairs

SUBJECT:                 Update Regarding Selection Process for New Aggie Mascot

Reveille VII, the current keeper of Texas A&M’s decades old mascot tradition, will formally retire later this month at the conclusion of the spring semester. As many of you know, shortly after her retirement plans were announced, a 16-person study committee was formed with the support of President Elsa A. Murano to make recommendations on the type of dog that might best serve as the university’s new mascot. Those invited to participate in the committee included students, faculty, staff, former students and representatives of the Corps of Cadets, Athletics and the Federation of Texas A&M Mothers’ Clubs. The committee also included a Texas A&M veterinarian who is a nationally known animal behavior expert.

The group’s first and foremost charge: ensure that we responsibly continue the long-standing tradition of having an official mascot that is an integral part of the Aggie Family – attending classes and living in a home-like environment on campus where the mascot will be loved and nurtured. The committee recently completed its work, and after further consultation with President Murano and a broad spectrum of senior campus leaders and advisors, I am pleased to share with you our plans on how we will proceed:

Essential Characteristics

First, regardless of the type of dog selected to serve as the University mascot, she should possess the following characteristics:

1.        Medium to large size – This body type is more consistent with the symbolism of a University mascot and is more suitable to her ability to perform the duties associated with the role.
2.        Healthy – Even at a reduced level of activity, the demands of the position require that the mascot be in good physical condition. Furthermore, any genetically related health concerns should be properly prescreened by a veterinarian.
3.        Outgoing personality (upbeat) – One of the endearing qualities of a mascot is its approachability and positive demeanor.
4.        Likes people and is at ease in crowds – It is important that the University mascot portrays a genuine affection for people of varying ages in one-on-one and large group settings.
5.        Not afraid of noise – Loud and frequent sounds are associated with a number of the University’s traditions; therefore, it is critical that the mascot be at ease in these environments.
6.        Not highly reactive – Given the nature and frequency of interaction with the mascot, it is important that she not respond in a defensive or aggressive manner when faced with quick movements or sudden motion.
7.        Positively motivated – The mascot should respond to instruction based on affirmation and encouragement.

Recommended Mascot

Second, in order to prescreen for essential characteristics, establish an appropriate level of training, and maintain the important symbolism of a University mascot, Reveille should be either:

(1)       A mature (approximately 1½ years of age or older) female with a Collie-like appearance (not unlike Reveille II), service dog training and the essential characteristics noted above.
OR

(2)       A mature female (approximately 1½ years of age or older) with service dog training, essential characteristics noted above, and the physical attributes and noble appearance consistent with the role of the University mascot (not unlike a Golden Retriever).

We are not inclined to consider a puppy at this point due to the following factors:  1) the length of time it takes to properly train and transition a puppy into this role – approximately 18 months; 2) the inherent uncertainties of the personality of a puppy; and 3) past experiences with this approach not achieving desired results.

Training and Oversight

Third, we recognize that steps have been taken to better manage the environment in which Reveille functions; however, given ongoing concerns for her health and behavior, other changes may be needed.  Therefore, we will ask that additional professional training protocols and oversight be established, implemented and periodically evaluated, including a transition period to help Reveille successfully acclimate to and carry out her role as the mascot of Texas A&M University. The Vice President for Student Affairs will have responsibility for assuring that these protocols are developed and monitored.

As we move forward in our effort to select a new mascot, we will immediately begin an extensive nationwide effort to identify and evaluate potential canine mascots, using the guidelines detailed above and with assistance from Texas A&M veterinarians. I anticipate that we will identify the best suitable mascot and put forward a recommendation by the end of the summer. Therefore, I am hopeful that we will introduce the new mascot to the Aggie Family this fall.

President Murano and I would like to commend the members of the committee for a job well-done and thank them for their tireless efforts while serving in this important capacity.

We look forward to introducing Reveille VIII to the Aggie Family!

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17 comments on “Get Ready For About 48 Aggie Jokes in the Comments

  1. These two Aggies were standing on a corner next to an old stray dog. All of a sudden, the dog started licking his balls. One Aggie looked down and said, “Boy, I sure wish I could do that.” The other Aggie leaned around and said, “Go ahead, he looks friendly…”

  2. Aggie walks into a bar with the new mascot under his arm (it’s a whippet, btw).

    Aggie says to the bartender, “give me a beer. Anything but Coors Light.”

    Bartender says, “why not Coors Light?”

    Aggie says “I drank a case of Coors Light last night and blew chunks”

    Bartender says, “dude, you drink a case of anything and your going to get sick”.

    Aggie says, “you don’t understand, Chunks is my dog”.

    Git r done

  3. Bobby Ewing – you’ve never been through a hurricane or tried to affix plywood to masonry, have you?
    In a hurricane, like Rita, the idea is not to protect the windows (they’re cheap), the idea is to protect the inside of the house (expensive).
    So, if you don’t have wood surrounding the window, or storm shutters, your only option is to affix plywood inside the window (which almost always has a stud frame around it.
    Think about it.

  4. If we come up with only 48 Aggie jokes, it’s a sad, slow day.

  5. what’s black and blue and rolls in the grass moaning?

    The last A-hole that told me an aggie joke.

    Gig ‘Em

  6. They LOVE sheep so much at Texas A&M that all incoming freshman receive a free pair of velcro gloves.

  7. Knowing Ag,

    You’re right. That was the appropriate way to board those windows. In a Katrina type storm, nothing is going to protect them, but in a class 1-3 hurricane, boards on the exterior would simply be pealed away.

  8. What do you call an Aggie 5 years after graduation? Boss
    Why do students go to TAMU instead of ut? They already have a high school education.

  9. Backer:

    What does it take to get a ut football scholarship? An arrest record.

    Drum roll, rim shot.

  10. “We’re going to win in 2007. That’s a guarantee. I promise you.”
    Jorvorskie Lane
    Texas A&M Running Back

    RESULT: Texas Tech 35 – Texas A&M 10

    10 wins in last 13 years, including:

    2007 Texas Tech 35 – Texas A&M 10
    2006 Texas Tech 31 – Texas A&M 27
    2005 Texas Tech 56 – Texas A&M 17
    2003 Texas Tech 59 – Texas A&M 28
    2002 Texas Tech 48 – Texas A&M 47
    2001 Texas Tech 12 – Texas A&M 0
    1999 Texas Tech 21 – Texas A&M 19
    1997 Texas Tech 16 -Texas A&M 13
    1996 Texas Tech 13 – Texas A&M 10
    1995 Texas Tech 14 – Texas A&M 7

  11. Question: What do Aggies and Longhorns have in common?

    Answer: They all applied to UT

  12. Question: Where was the toothbrush invented?

    Answer: Texas A&M University.

    Anywhere else it would have been name a “teethbrush.”

  13. Students at TAMU recently learned of a new use for sheep. It’s called wool.