Leading Off

1. Bernardino Garcia-Cordova, of Garland, wanted to bring a 7-pound, elaborately painted statue of Jesus — or it might have been Joseph — home from Laredo. Only problem: the statue was made of cocaine. It brings to mind the chocolate bunnies that were always a favorite of mine at Easter as a kid, and how I’d slowly devour them over the course of a week or so, body part by body part. I imagine Garcia-Cordova: “Hmm, today I think I’ll snort Jesus’ left arm.”

2. Remember how one of the selling points of the Trinity Project and the Calatrava bridge(s) was that they would create economic development on the other side of the river, and remember how Certain People poo-pooed the notion? Ask Philip Romano, Larry McGregor, and the deliciously named Khraish H. Khraish what they think of that (be sure to download the map; very cool).

3. After being out of town for a month on a fishing trip, Wick is apparently back. A couple hours ago, he sent Adam and me a note asking why there weren’t any posts up on FrontBurner today, which is a Saturday, part of a concept some refer to as “the weekend.” Nice to have you back, Wick.

Giant Black Snakes Attack Dallas

It’s not every day you get to put up two posts about snakes. The concept behind Susan Robb’s sculpture and what it’s doing in town are explained after the jump. (And, for the record, she calls them toobs.)

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Re: Museum to Change Name

Awhile back, when I spoke with PMNS CEO Nicole Small (pictured, with bear) for a short piece in our June issue about her gravidity and upcoming plans for the museum, I’d heard a big donation was in the works. Try as I did to pry something out of her (perhaps an unfortunate phrase, in this context, now that I think about it), she wouldn’t spill a word. (photo by Billy Surface)

Brad Oldham Poses at Future DART Stop With Subterranean Glass Snake

Once upon a time, Brad Oldham (on the left, with Brandon Oldenburg) almost got Eric and me killed. We were all on a rec league basketball team together. Brad was by far the best player (before the ACL went, he could jump out of gym). But he was also a hothead. One game, we played an all-Hispanic team. Brad egregiously elbowed one of the players, started shooting off his mouth, and then things quickly got racial. Our Hispanic point guard knew the other players and convinced them to give us a head start to our cars. Only by sprinting from the Centrum gym to our cars were we able to escape injury — injury that would have been deserved, by the way.

But that’s neither here nor there. Just fun for remembering. The point of this post is that Brad and his partners at Reel FX have been awarded a $1,365,000 contract to build sculptures at DART’s Deep Ellum rail station. Full release after the jump (which is just as tiny as Brad’s now).

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Izaguirre’s Plummeting Street Cred

Reporting DART’s closure of its Akard Street station on the noon news today, Belo8 anchor Cynthia Izaguirre pronounced the street “AY-kurd” (as in acorn) instead of ACK-urd, not once but twice. Nit-picking? Heck, yes. But the thing is, we probably wouldn’t have even noticed if not for all those annoying commercials pumping Izaguirre that assure us, ad nauseum, that “she grew up here … she’s just returning to work in the town she loves … and, oh yeah, did we mention she grew up here?” Wasn’t a ‘burb babe, either.

Sex at the Studio Movie Grill

I was more concerned about what was on the small screen last night (Hello? Lost? Anyone, anyone?) than the silver screen, but a Red Sox-lovin’ FBvian has a report from the Sex and the City premiere at the very un-Manhattan-like Studio Movie Grill. Jump for it.

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Astons, Private Jets, Media Stars At Magazine Bash

Security was tight last night, as the setting was the gated Imaginaire Private Jet Charter facility in Addison. But once you got inside, the booze and the food (Chopin vodka, Mercury Grill hors d’oeuvres) and the talk flowed freely as more than 200 mover-and-shaker types enjoyed D CEO magazine’s Second Quarter Happy Hour. The guests included KRLD-AM business analyst David Johnson (at far left in photo, next to D CEO’s Cynthia Smoot) and Fox4 morning anchor Tim Ryan (at right). Also spotted: Addison Mayor Joe Chow, top lawyer Mark Werbner, men’s clothing guru Mike Zack, beautiful real-estate stars like Susan Arledge, and Boardroom Software honcho Andrew Levi. And, oh yeah, still more reason for all the security: a couple of sleek Imaginaire private jets and some hot Aston Martins. Talk about Sex in the City.

Museum to Change Name to Honor Ross (Not the One From Friends)

The Museum of Nature and Science just had itself a big news conference to make a Major Announcement. This just in from Intern Abby, on the scene:

The children of Ross and Margot Perot gave $50 million to the Museum of Nature and Science. So now it will be called the Ross Perot Museum of Nature and Science.

Damn straight it will.

Update: The name will be the Perot Museum of Nature & Science. No “Ross.” More details.

Marksmen Bid Adieu To Davis Hall

Attention fellow Marksmen (I know nobody else will care, so you can save your comments): St. Mark’s will have a special tribute to Davis Hall starting in about 20 minutes. The building has fond memories for many of us, I’m sure, as it was the main building on campus for more than 60 years. It had classrooms, administration offices, the teachers’ lounge where the only vending machines were before the student commons got ‘em (and you risked the wrath of Coach Reese to sneak in for a Coke), the bookstore where you could buy things on credit that made it seem free, the third-floor study hall, the bathroom where Steve Miller planted the cherry bomb that got him expelled (or so legend had it), the flimsy doors that anyone could unlock on weekends with that secret trick that wasn’t so secret (push in a little bit and then yank like all get out), and so much more. Davis is being retired and replaced by Centennial Hall and the Robert K. Hoffman Center.

My fondest, Davis Hall-related memory: Shortly after the school decided to implement a Suggestion Box, Student Council President Patrick Barta (’90) decided to read the best suggestions at general assembly on Fridays. I forget all of them except this one: “Please move Davis Hall three inches to the right. Thank you.” Barta said there would be crews working on it and it’d be done by the following Monday. Sure enough, it was.

We’re Already Having Cocktails

Over here!

Friday Fun

Happy Friday, all. Today’s Friday Fun distraction is Tall Stump. It’s like a maze and a puzzle-game and stuff all in one. You control a little dude who has a gun that shoots out balls that makes things happen. That’s about all I can tell so far. People in the know call it an “action platform.” I call it a “better than work.” Too bad I have work to do. Maybe you don’t. If not, enjoy.

Leading Off

1. DISD announces that the number of schools ranked “exemplary” or “recognized” by the state will double to nearly 100. (I know one proud papa with a thinning head of hair who will be glad to see Hexter Elementary on that list.) As well, the number of schools rated “academically unacceptable” will decrease more than 20 percent, to about 20. District officials made appropriately reserved remarks, saying these are steps in the right direction. Editors at Belo-owned companies vowed to redouble their efforts to find small instances of chicanery at DISD schools or within the administration and blow them out of proportion. “We won’t rest until this school system is brought down,” they said, “or we win some sort of mid-level journalism award for trying, whichever comes first.”

2. Texas Democratic Party Chairman Boyd Richie says he and his wife will endorse Barack Obama. This is important because Richie is a superdelegate, although why he would reveal his secret identity to the press is a mystery to me. That’s not the way crime-fighting superdelegates did it in my day. Maybe he’s seen Iron Man.

3. Fort Worth Mayor Mike Moncrief has a bobblehead. Please, let’s get to work on one for Tom Leppert. Please.

The DMA Continues To Awe and Inspire Me

Earlier today, I got to see the Making It New: The Art and Style of Sara and Gerald Murphy exhibition at the Dallas Museum of Art, which opens to the public on Sunday (mini scoreboard). Christine Lieb wrote a great little item about it for June’s print product, but I can’t find the link right now, so you’ll have to read about it when you get home (it’s on page 16). [Update: Found it!]

The painting to the left is one of eight by Gerald Murphy himself, though the exhibition is full of works done by others but inspired by the Murphys (Picasso and Fernand Leger, to name two). There are also tons of photographs, letters, and other items from friends of the Murphys such as Cole Porter, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Ernest Hemingway (Sara and Gerald were the American expats who inspired Fitzgerald’s Tender is the Night). I loved seeing notes from Dorothy Parker, one of my favorite writers, and one of the couples’ friends when they moved back to New York City. Go. Be inspired.

Boffo Traffic For DMN’s Site

A curious FrontBurnervian points at this Editor & Publisher report about the increase in site visitors at the country’s largest newspapee sites. True enough, the DMN’s numbers stand out:

The Dallas Morning News’ monthly uniques surged 88% in April, compared to the same month a year ago.

I wonder what their secret is/was. The curious FrontBurnervian has tongue-in-cheek theory:

What in the world are these guys doing to drive this kind of traffic? Or, do they have some cool new tracking device that their former circulation folks invented to inflate their traffic?

Great Headlines (Another in a Series)

“Man’s Body Found in Uptown Cemetary.”

Ex-Dallas Anchor In The Soup In Alabama

Uncle Barky reports that Michael Scott–the ex-NBC5 anchor who was jumped on-air here by a lizard, creating a YouTube sensation–has lost his job as primary news anchor at a TV station in Huntsville, Ala. Seems that Scott, who’s black, referred to his producer, who’s also black, as a “negro” during a commercial break. When the producer objected, Scott called him the “n”-word, and wound up canned.

Leading Off

1. Anjali Datta will always be the valedictorian of Grapevine High School to me, no matter what district officials say. Fantastic work, Grapevine-Colleyville ISD. Punish the kid who finishes four years of course work in three. Who has what most believe is the highest GPA in school history. They should be planning a special ceremony for her at graduation, not saddling her with the cop-out tag of “valedictorian-three years.” Chin up, Anjali. I’m sure some smart university will make up for the one-year scholarship they just took from you.

2. Dallas Fed boss Richard Fisher said something vaguely ominous about inflation last night in a speech in San Francisco. I’m not positive what it means, but I have a feeling I should visit the nearest haberdasher as soon as possible. I might need something to hold onto.

3. Phyllis Dawn Harvey, aka the “Tattoo Bandit,” received 19 concurrent life sentences and will have to serve out the remaining 20 years of the 30-year bid she was on parole for during her 10-day, 19-robbery spree last summer. “I just had a bad two weeks, a bad couple of years, a bad life,” she said. “Ya know what I mean?” Man, do I ever, Phyllis. For the last 10 days, I’ve been suffering from a nasty case of poison ivy. Whew. Driving me crazy. You know, now that I’ve typed that out, it’s not really that similar.

Farmers Branch Continues to Strike Out

The DMN just posted this news alert:

A federal judge has found a Farmers Branch ordinance banning apartment rentals to most illegal immigrants to be unconstitutional. U.S. District Court Judge Sam Lindsay issued a permanent injunction blocking the city from implementing the measure, Ordinance 2903.

Samir Patel Is Still My Spelling Hero

A couple of astute FrontBurnervians sent along this ESPN profile of Samir Patel, the Colleyville kid who spelled words and broke hearts the past two years at the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Whose heart? Well, mine for one, which is why the FrontBurnervians are astute. They know what a big fan I have been — and continue to be — of Patel. The Bee just won’t be the same without him. (Also, hi Robert.)

Trouble at Channel 11?

KTVT’s 10 o’clock news was hilarious yesterday. Twelve minutes in, there were at least four mistakes. First up, footage of a convenience store murder from October 2008. (Maybe Channel 11 has a time machine?) Then a guy’s name was spelled “Brain” instead of “Brian.” A story on American Airlines and the pilot strike had a graphic showing that the pilots’ demands would cost the airline $750,000; the reporter said it was $750 million. And, last but not least, a “candeligjht vigil” was held for a local girl who passed away. I’ve never watched the news on KTVT before—is this a common thing? I’m not picking on the station: Just wanted to say thanks for making depressing news funny, Channel 11 copy gal/guy.

Speaking of Josh Hamilton

Holy cow. Did you know this guy used to do drugs? (Kidding aside, it’s a story for the ages, really.)

How Many Fans Will Show Up To Today’s Game?

Your Texas Rangers play the first-place Tampa Bay Rays today at 11:30 a.m. local. You’d think a day game in Florida, especially one involving an exciting young team (Rays) and an MVP candidate (Jason Botts Josh Hamilton) would draw a large crowd. But did you see the game last night? I think there were more people at the Best of Big D party last year. The box score says there were more than 10k, which, if you believe that, I’ve got a Fantroy confession I’d like you to hear. FB/TRangers fan Zach in New York puts the over/under on folks in seats at first pitch at 500. I’ve got the under.

A New Spokesman For Southwest Airlines?

You know how that guy Jared lost all of that weight eating Subway sandwiches and ended up being the spokesman for the chain? I wonder if fun-loving Southwest Airlines is considering Semaj Booker as the face of the new flier. He’s the cute, precocious 10-year-old who, twice now, has tried to make it from Seattle to Dallas on SWA without even buying a ticket. In January of last year, he made it all the way to San Antonio. This time, he didn’t leave Seattle-Tacoma Int’l. Though he did get past the metal detectors and security. LUV used to boast you could “fly for peanuts.” Now, as Semaj proves, you can fly for even less than that. Mull it over, Herb. (I know: He’s retired. But he could still pull some strings.)

Leading Off

1. The Cowboys and the Mavericks are teaming up to try to get the 2010 NBA All-Star Game, which would be played in the Arlington Death Star. Tune in to the Ticket at 8:40 this morning to hear Gordon Keith and George Dunham do the fake Jerry Jones and Mark Cuban having a business meeting to discuss the topic. [So what's that going to sound like? Do you have a joke here or what?]

2. “Dallas Area Residents Feel the Grip of Soaring Gas Prices.” Coming tomorrow in your paper: “Dallas Area Residents Cope With Gravity.” [Please have another shot at this. The gravity line doesn't work.]

3. UT Southwestern has landed a Harvard fellow by the name of Daniel K. Podolsky as its next president. By all accounts, he’s a great choice. I don’t have a joke for this one. It’s just a big deal for UTSW and the city. [Note: he's an expert in the human digestive system. Maybe make a fart joke?]

What Local Music Fans Might Want To Do Tonight

A friendly, record-producing FrontBurnervian passes along some news for fans of local music, specifically the band I Love Math:

We are having a listening party tonight at the Barley House to celebrate the release of I Love Math’s new disc, “Getting To The Point Is Beside It” today. It starts at 7:30 and the band will be there to sign cds, make small talk, etc. Hope you can come down (and of course feel free to blog about it).

Okay, I will. (Blog about it, that is.)