Richard Fisher Dispenses Chill Pill

Dallas Fed chief and Dairy Queen dip-cone lover Richard Fisher strengthened his economic fear-quelling today, saying there is nothing novel or exceptionally dangerous in either the bursting of the housing and credit bubble, or the boom which preceded it. Read more here if you want to exhale.

Back to your blondes …

Go, Stars

Tomorrow night is the first night of the Stars-Ducks playoffs. If you didn’t know that already, you probably don’t care. And if you did, you probably know how the Stars match up with the defending Stanley Cup champs or know where to find stuff like that. Instead, I’ll focus on the celebrity bloggers associated with each team. The Stars have (again) Mrs. Modano Willa Ford (left). The Ducks have celebreality “star” Lauren “L.C.” Conrad, who admits to being more of a Kings fan (right). I’m still trying to figure out if L.C. is more boring than she is fake or more fake than she is boring. Either way: Advantage Stars.

Esquire Steals From D Magazine

On the left you see the May issue of Esquire, which has been leaked (and if you go to What Would Tyler Durden Do? you can see some really saucy pics of Jessica that will appear inside the magazine, if you’re into that sort of thing). On the right, you see the cover of the May issue of D Magazine, which has also been leaked. Do you see the similarities? Good grief. They clearly ripped us off. I mean, this goes against every journalism ethics rule in the book. They should be ashamed. Sure, their cover has Jessica shaving, and our cover has her right after she shaved, but they’re still too close. I don’t know if we can sue for this sort of thing, but a strongly worded letter from our lawyers is certainly in order.

Local Company Launches “Revolutionary” Beverage

The folks behind Big Headz are launching something called ViB, for “Vacation in a Bottle.” From the release:

ViB is a revolutionary new beverage that is unlike any other drink on the market today. ViB is the world’s first line of relaxation drinks helping to calm the senses, destress the mind and balance the body. ViB’s unique recipe combines nutrients, antioxidants, vitamins and minerals to naturally relax the mind and body providing a state of relaxation and stress-free relief. ViB is a sparkling, tropical blend of pomegranate and berries. Caffeine free, ViB is low in both carbohydrates and calories. ViB is vitamin enriched, contains antioxidants and is non-alcoholic.

Me, I bet the whole “vacation in a bottle” concept works better if you mix it with vodka.

Trip Kuehne Hangs Em Up

Well, he’ll still play golf. But his competitive career will end at the Masters. A co-working FBvian points us to a good story about how Tiger Woods changed Kuehne’s life back in 1994 when he whipped him in the U.S. Amateur championships.

David Mamet F - - - - - - Rocked Last Night

Last night, the Hiett Prize was given to David Greenberg at the Dallas Museum of Art. David Mamet was the keynote speaker, and he did a pre-prandial interview with Gary Cogill (pictured). The iPhone was in attendance. As was yrs trly. I have several observations for Those Who Care to Jump:

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Get Baked

Who knew? (Update: the Star-T did, among others, I’m sure.) This weekend is a big deal for bakers, as the Pillsbury Bake-Off Contest takes place at the Fairmont Hotel April 13-15. One hundred recipe finalists compete for a $1,000,000 grand prize. Among those finalists are several hometown favorites. In particular, I’m rooting for Dallas baker Stephanie Hollowell and her Fudgy Chocolate-Peanut Butter Thumbprints. If any FrontBurnervian should happen to make his or her way to the Fairmont this weekend, I’d love a recap.

The Sheriff’s Election is Near(er)

Jim Bowles to go back to complaining about kids on his lawn.

UPDATE: The final results defy the definition of blowout: Lowell Cannaday received 88.58 percent of the vote, in a fairly aggressive turnout for a runoff.

Leading Off

1) Two think tanks are grousing about income inequality in Texas. Somehow, I have my doubts. Still, gaps grow even if everyone’s income increases by the exact same percentage. What’s the problem? Everyone is still better off. And even if your neighbor starts making 20 percent more than you, how are you harmed? And really, the best question is why should anyone care at all?

2) Note to headline writer: You think so, doctor?

3) Here we go again with the flight cancellations and the fleet groundings. (Déjà vu? Mais oui.) And then it gets funky.

(Your Wednesday morning moment of Zen.)