Happy Opening Day: A Really Live Blog

OK, I just got back to my seat after standing down on the field as the players were announced. Michael Young totally winked at me. I have tons of video which we will edit later. For now, I am going to hang around and make some observations on today’s game. Of course, they’ll all be after the jump.

1:30 Wireless problems in the press box. All of the veteran writers are griping that there are too many useless “press people” in the room. (Yikes, a pop foul ball just about hit the window in front of me.) Hmm. AP reporter, Ken Sins, is very chatty. I like him. He used to cover the Dallas Black Hawks when I was the nice PR lady back in the mid-70s. Anywhoo, Ken told me that the home run just hit by Baltimore came on a 1-2 pitch. He is under the assumption that I’m really following the game and I know the names and numbers of all of the players. What he doesn’t know is that I just realized we are playing Baltimore. Even though I was extremely lucky and got to go down on the field for the opening ceremonies, I was very distracted because they had a bald eagle fly around the stadium after the national anthem and it flew right in front of me, landed on the arm of his handler, and kinda puked on his glove. It was really cool. OK, back to the game.

1:42 None of the writers can locate Tom Hicks in the stands. (For once in my life I am caught without my binoculars.) Rumor has it that there’s an important soccer game about to start and Hicks is up in his suite watching it. Nice priorities. Starting pitcher Jason Jennings has already thrown 49 pitches in the– whoopsie, Luke Scott just connected on pitch numero 50, and that ball, as Eric would say,”is history.” I think I see someone warming up in the Ranger bullpen. Ken won’t let me borrow his binoculars.

1:53 Oh, my favorite player Michael Young is in the on-deck circle. Dang, he won’t have a chance to bat. Double play, Rangers are out of here in the bottom of the third. (Hey, J.J., C. J. sez hi!) Musical interlude. Hmm. There is a lot of testosterone in this room. I think I need to step out for a second. Wait a second, the Orioles just flipped two up, two down. (Evan Grant is listening to Eric Nadel’s broadcast and Grant is making fun of Jim Knox who is interviewing Eric. Methinks Evan is jealous, but there is much ado about Eric singing the praises of Nolan Ryan.) It’s all over my head. Sportswriters are mean.

2:04 Covering the press box is a hell of a a lot easier than covering the actual game. The windows are closed and you can’t hear the crowd. Nobody in here is actually watching the game. Oh wait, it looks like Star Telegram columnist Jim Reeves is. But he could be looking at Internet porn. Oh no he couldn’t, the connection is down. Look, there’s Randy Galloway. He looks asleep. Or maybe his eyes are just swollen shut. Meanwhile, the boys from the DMN (pictured below) are telling dirty jokes. Hey Bob Yates, here’s a picture of your staff on opening day! This Internet connection going up and down is making work really hard. Somebody just went for a beer.

(Kevin Sherrington, Evan Grant, and Tim Cowlishaw hard at work.)

2:24 Fourth inning. One Indian, that would be Oriole, out. Tom Hicks is back in his seat to the left of the Rangers’ dugout. He is watching the aforementioned soccer game on a portable TV. The wind up, the pitch: swing and a miss, strike three. Two out. I have no idea what the score is because the sun is shining in my eyes and I can’t read the scoreboard. But the Rangers’ pitcher, Jason Jennings, seems to be finding his groove. Whoa, inside fast ball. Strike three. Two outs. I can smell the World Series. (Or is it sulfur from the Cowboy stadium construction site in the distance? Not sure.) Scott Moore is up. Swing and a miss, strike one. (Shut up, Ken. Man, that guy can talk.) Wind up and a pitch. Jenning’s pitch jams Moore at the waist. Ball 2. Repeat last two sentences. Ball 3. Repeat again. That’s a walk. Guess it was the sulfur because at this moment manager Ron Washington is heading to the mound with a bar of Irish Spring. Jennings is headed for the showers. I guess I jumped the gun on my assessment of him and his groove thang. Dang, this sports writing stuff is harder than it looks. Ouch, the PA system is blaring bad music from the 80s. I ponder possible redundancy in my last sentence as new pitcher Jamey Wright, heads to the mound. Why can’t anyone come up with better or at least NEW music for a sporting event? IJS.

2:32 This is a really bad game. Evan Grant, baseball beat writer for the DMN, is “bitching” at the poor IT guy in the press box. Boy, what a grump. Pitching stats come from the mysterious staccato voice in the press box: “Jason Jennings, pitched 4 2/3 innings…7 hits…4 runs…all earned…4 walks…1 strike out…[gave up] 2 home runs…1 wild pitch. He threw 84 pitches and 46 strikes.” What a loser. His performance sounds like Tommy Lee Jones’ freshman year at St. Mark’s. But, hang on, don’t get too cynical. Here come the Rangers. Double by Gerald Laird; Ben Broussard draws a walk. Home team has runners on first and second. Ken Sins has stopped talking. A Ranger rally looms somewhere on/in Ian Kinsler’s pine-tarred bat. Here comes the pitch: the bat cracks like a thin, crisp tostada. Double dang. It’s a wimpy little looper. For those of you scoring at home: 6-4-3 . Poof: two outs. Within a minute, Michael Young, despite his studliness, makes it three. Cue: Neil Diamond. Sweet Caroline. I totally love this song.

2:56 The seasoned professionals in the press box are already counting the number of games remaining in the season. They invite me to come back in August when things will be even more exciting than this game. There is no sarcasm in the room. Another nice reporter from AP, Stephen Hawkins, sitting to my right, is calling his kids, who are sitting in the stands, and telling them to get out of the stadium and beat the traffic. Instead of watching the game and trying to figure out who is totally sucking at this point, I will now post some pictures taken earlier by my good friend Richie Lieberman, who flew in from Santa Fe for the game.

(The bird watching was better than the game. This is the bald eagle that participated in opening ceremonies.)

(Below, Eric Nadel walks to the mound to toss out the first pitch of the season. Eric wears the number 30 because he looks 30. Not really. This is his 30th season as the voice of the Rangers.)

(Below, Eric and Nolan Ryan, who’s obviously been sampling a lot of his new meat products, discuss Eric’s pitching strategy. Eric doesn’t take Nolan’s knuckle ball suggestion and opts for pure heat, guaranteed tender.)

(Below, “catcher”, and Tim Rogers look-a-like, Jim Sundberg, rushes to the mound to congratulate Eric for not throwing like a girl.)

(After Eric’s successful pitch–the ball made it to home plate, a little left, but catchable–he and Nolan head to the clubhouse to sample more meat products.)

3:02 Top of the 7th, people are streaming for the exits. This game is over.

3:25 I am bored to tears and heading out before I get snagged in traffic. Maybe I’ll get home in time to watch the end of the soccer game.