Re: Signing Off

JJ, I will miss you like a flower misses rain. And to this, you will forever be my date. In the meantime, I’ll shed a tear and continue to do this. Tra la.

Why I Won’t Be at the Nasher This Saturday

The Nasher just released the lineup for its Saturday Night in the City Garden Concert Series (full release after the jump). The first performer, this Saturday, is homeboy and Jackopiercer Cary Pierce. The last time I heard him play a concert, it cost me a night in the Oklahoma City Jail and $1,100. Here’s a story that ran in the Daily Oklahoman awhile back, under the headline “Three Arrested for Not Wearing Pants”:

Three out-of-towners were caught red-handed — sort of — after police found them running around downtown Oklohoma City without pants. The men were booked into the Oklahoma City Jail on complaints of indecent exposure. Police found the trio, who were wearing only shirts, sitting on a curb in front of the Medallion Hotel about 2 a.m. Sunday.

A female driver reported the incident.

Arrested were: [name redacted], 28, and Timothy Rogers, 26, both of Dallas; and [name redacted], 26, of Ardmore. All have since been released from jail.

We were walking back to the hotel after the concert. Streaking seemed like the right thing to do. The show was that good. But never again. As I told the judge, I learned my lesson.

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Film News That’s Not AFI Related: State Rep. Allen Vaught, Matt Damon in Green Zone

A little while ago, I told you that State Rep. Allen Vaught was going to be in a movie with Matt Damon based on Rajiv Chandrasekaran’s book Imperial Life in the Emerald City. The flick, now titled Green Zone, is currently shooting in London, which is where Vaught is now. He’s basically playing the same part he played in the Iraq war, albeit with less responsibility (he was “The Mayor of Fallujah,” after all) and way fewer lines. Besides for Damon, Green Zone also stars Greg Kinnear, Amy Ryan, and Jason Isaacs, and is directed by the somewhat divisive Paul Greengrass. Will this be the first Iraq war film to succeed? I mean, one has to, right?

Signing Off

FB Nation, you never cease to amaze me. I’ve thoroughly been enjoying all of your quote-tastic comments. (And still am! Keep them coming!) In all seriousness, though, it’s with a heavy heart that I bid you a fond farewell and post on FrontBurner for the last time. I’ve been lucky enough to call D home for the last nearly three years, and I’ll miss it—and all of the people here—dearly.

Sarah and Stacey, throw Zac and Eric a bone and laugh at their movie references (even the ones from movies released way before we were born). Use the movie-quoting guides I gave you. Zac, I leave you as the Resident Sports Expert. Do me proud—or else. Trey, we may not always see eye to eye when it comes to politics, but darn it if you don’t have great taste in comedians. Nancy: I’ll fight you for him. Steph, you’re one of the hardest working ladies in show business, and you do it in style. Tim, thanks for always having my back. I’m sure my dad, a loyal reader, appreciated it, too. (Hi Dad!) If I ever get in a rumble, I know I can count on you to protect me, grenades a-blazin’. Look after Spider Monkey for me. Eric, now you know I like food. So, the next time I show up at the Monk, if you haven’t already ordered me an onion ring tower for two (for one), this mess is going to get raw like sushi, so haters to the left. This one’s for you. Adam, you already know you’re like the big brother I never had. (And I mean that in the familial way, not the After Dark way.) Thanks for letting me draw the good number out of the pile all those months ago, and ever since. Glenn, take care of CEO for me. I know it’s in good hands. Wick, thanks for taking a chance on a young kid. And all my non FB-blogging D friends, you stay classy. Cue this.

Pole Dancing, Hand-wringing In A Flick About Newspapers

There were short fun clips of newspaper people as portrayed in the movies, from Bogie and Kirk Douglas to Citizen Kane. There was generous footage of The Lodge, complete with pole dancers, since an ex-Dallas Morning News staffer now works at the local “gentleman’s club” as a manager. But the bulk of Stop The Presses: The American Newspaper in Peril–it premiered before a packed house of DMNers Wednesday night at the AFI Dallas International Film Festival–was an earnest, talking-heads take on newspapers aggregating all the conventional wisdom on the subject, sort of like a long article in the Columbia Journalism Review. Jump for the local connections, of which there were many. (more…)

Don Henley Says Something Extremely Obvious, Continues Being Terrible

Amy Winehouse and Britney Spears need to go to rehab?  Managers and various hangers-on aren’t willing to tell musicians what they need to hear? You think so, doctor? Updated list of things Don Henley is bad at:

• Writing songs
• Singing songs
• Drumming
• Extemporaneous speech
• Cogent thought

Former Bengals WR Chris Henry Headed to the Dallas Cowboys, Local Strip Club, Jail?

That’s what one of the bloggers at AOL’s FanHouse thinks–the first part, anyway. If that happens, and the team consummates its flirtation with Pacman Jones, they’re going to need to bring in Michael Irvin to show them how to properly set up a new “White House.” Get your purple mink coats and matching bowler hats ready.

Bosworth Steel Erectors, Inc. Built the New Nationals Ballpark in D.C. Out of Metal and Brawn

And now the Dallas-based company has won an award for it. Well played, fellas.

In Lewisville ISD, Urine or You’re Out

Lewisville students are fighting new policy in their ISD that requires students to consent to the indignity of random drug tests if they want to participate in such seedy activities as debate team and glee club, much less playing football or any of the lesser sports.

Maybe it will help their case to know that a study by the University of Michigan shows that broad-based random drug testing doesn’t have any effect on underage drug use, making random drug test programs both expensive and wasteful. But I suppose it does serve the purpose of teaching students to meekly submit and that they are guilty until proven innocent. Which is something. By the way, kids, here’s a good resource.

Re: I’m Gonna Put This Out There.

Eric, I couldn’t agree more about Jessica, who’s been a stellar managing editor for two years at D CEO magazine. The good news for CEO is that–in the best spirit of intramural theft–we’ve swooped up the estimable Kristiana Heap from D’s People Newspapers group to succeed Jessica as CEO’s m.e. We’re breaking Kristiana in right now with the Anchorman references.

The Guy Who Broke the Alphonso Jackson HUD Story

An alert FrontBurnervian points us to this CJR story about the reporter who had the Alphonso Jackson story first — five months ago.

Why All Those Layoffs At Local TV Stations

It’s more than just the economy. So explains this analysis from the Baltimore Sun. But merely looking at dollars misses a critical point, as explained by George Gilder many years ago, arguing that differentiation in media would force broadcast into a downward spiral of vulgarity in order to try to keep some portion of the audience. Key point:

Television is not vulgar because people are vulgar, it is vulgar because people are similar in their prurient interests and sharply differentiated in their civilized concerns.

I’m Gonna Put This Out There. If You Like You It You Can Keep It. If You Don’t, You Can Send It Right Back.

Very sad day at the D Empire today, as JJ, aka Jessica Jones, is Managing Editing her way through her final day here. She’s leaving for a gig where she can apply her insatiable appetite for all things Talk Soup and TMZ.com. She’s a great colleague, wise beyond her years, a Happy Hour raconteur, whip smart, and, let’s face it, she makes the office 8 percent more attractive when she walks in the door. And that’s hard to do in this building.

This is extra sad for Zac and me, because JJ is the only person who consistently laughs at the stupid movie/TV lines we quote to each other. Her knowledge of usable dialogue from Anchorman, Talladega Nights, Arrested Development, and many other films/shows made it possible for us to take our dorkdom to 11. For that, we say to you, Jess, “Milk was a bad choice.”

Certain D overlords didn’t like it when we turned FrontBurner into an all-day goodbye tribute to Tall Paul, so it’s up to you, dear commenters, to tell JJ how much you’ll miss her. And keep it clean, or the boys in the edit pit will track you down and pummel you. Unless you’re C.J. Wilson. She hearts you, C.J. [Sigh.] Cue it.

Tree Query

A curious FrontBurnervian asks the FB Nation:

Any idea why the DMA has chopped down all its trees along St. Paul??? The last one was being removed just a little bit ago.

The obvious answer is: Art for art’s sake. But I bet there’s another reason.

AFI Review: Lou Reed’s Berlin

Rhonda Reinhart is a talented, organized, intelligent member of the D empire. (She works in our Special Interest Publications division.) Turns out, she’s quite the film reviewer person, as well. Here’s her take on the Lou Reed/Julian Schnabel project, Berlin.

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Women Lure Men to Apartment and, Well, Read On

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I’m a single guy in Texas, and I never believed your letters were real. But then I started talking with these two hot women on a phone chat line. They asked me to come to their apartment complex, and what happened next blew my mind…

Harvard Lampoon Takes On National Geographic

Allisonette #2 works on the Lampoon, and she asks the FrontBurner Nation to run — not walk, run — to the nearest newsstand to buy a copy of its latest parody. I’ve read it flipped through it. If you’re the politically correct, puritanical group I think you are, do not buy this magazine.

AFI Review: Please Vote For Me

Adrienne Gruben’s reviews continue to delight. Here’s her recap of a documentary about a grade-school election in China. If I were keeping categories of Movies I Want to See Soon, Movies I’m Glad I Didn’t, and Movies I Hope to Catch Sometime on TV, this one in particular would be high up in that first group. Adrienne’s thoughts are after the jump.

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Leading Off

1. I see you Big German: Dirk Nowitzki got his Willis Reed on, making a surprise return and leading the Mavericks to a huge win over Golden State.

2. The Dallas Zoo’s only lion, Boris, died yesterday, probably from the big C. Cue this.

3. This is a beautiful story of a Arlington couple, married 75 years, that died five hours apart. I really hope I don’t make it to 100.