My Favorite Answering Machine Message

Taco Loco (214-748-8226) takes its name seriously.

Exxon Mobil Tries Again to Explain Business 101 to House Members

The same Congress that will jack up prices at the pump if they enact their shamanistic policies 1) to fight the chimera of anthropogenic global warming and 2) repeal tax deductions Congress passed for all manufacturers scolded Big Oil on Capitol Hill over jacked up prices at the pump. Highlights? Oh yeah.

J. Stephen Simon, Exxon Mobil Corp.’s senior vice president, and Robert A. Malone, president of BP America, pointed to figures they said suggest the oil and gas industry’s profits last year were not out of line with companies in the Dow Jones Industrial Average.

Oil and gas companies, the executives said, earned an average of 8.3 cents per dollar of sales, compared with 7.8 cents per dollar for the Dow companies — which include Exxon Mobil and Chevron.

Simon said that Exxon Mobil’s effective tax rate in 2007 was 44 percent, compared with 30 percent on average for 80 U.S. companies surveyed by Tax Notes, a print and online news service covering tax issues.

Simon said that over the last five years, Exxon Mobil’s U.S. tax bill has exceeded the company’s U.S. earnings by $19 billion.

Why isn’t Exxon Mobil investing more in “alternative energies?”

… fossil fuels are still going to account for at least two-thirds of the world’s energy consumption in three decades and whatever scientific progress is made, the practical prospects for alternatives remain “very, very small.”

And…

Jeroen van der Veer, chief executive officer of Netherlands-based Royal Dutch Shell, warned against sinking too much cash on alternatives such as biofuels if they cannot be competitive in the marketplace.

“There is no point to spend billions of dollars on a technology that is too expensive for consumers,” van der Veer said.

(Hat tip.)

Rubber Gloves Owner Josh Baish Has An Ear For Music

A helpful FrontBurnervian passes along this compelling Pitchfork link about Josh Baish, owner of the bar/studio/venue Rubber Gloves in Denton. Last October, Baish went to Marfa to see his favorite Japanese noise band Boris perform. The story is sadly missing some details on this part:

During the performance he was assaulted by four men, who broke one of his ribs and managed to bite off a chunk of one of his ears.

Gets better. While packing up, members of Boris found the chunk of ear and sent it to Baish in hopes it could be reattached. It couldn’t, but Boris wrote a song about it. Baish told Pitchfork:

“So basically, I lost my ear and broke a rib at a concert from my favorite band, and they wrote a song about it. I’d say it was worth it.”

Radio Shack: Of Batteries and Zip Codes

Fort Worth-based Radio Shack has long been one of those annoying companies that want your zip code when you buy stuff. But word comes through a departed and missed former D Empire employee that one of their outlets in Jackson, Mississippi, wouldn’t accept cash from a customer without his home address. Kudos to the Radio Shack home office, though. The would-be customer dashed off an email to the corporate headquarters and quickly got a $20 gift certificate and an apology from Radio Shack.

AFI Review: Snow Angels

Last night I did my AFI duties and hit the Centerpiece Screening of Snow Angels, held at the glamorous movie-going arena that is the AMC NorthPark 15. (How I picked the only theater that doesn’t serve alcohol, I’m not really sure, but anyhoo.) Downtairs, Chuck D and the boys from Public Enemy were walking the red carpet, but upstairs in Theater 8, we had Sam Rockwell, so there!

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Watch Michael Hogue Paint

I’ve long been a fan of Hogue’s work. He’s a DMN staff illustrator. So I dug this time lapse video of him at work. Worth a viewing if you have a few.

Nipple Gate is Out of Control

Gloria Allred? But of course. She was in town yesterday when Mandi Hamlin, the woman who was disgraced by TSA for her nipple ring, received the Bold Spirit Award from the Women’s Leadership Exchange. Here are the gory details. All I can say is “doubletripleouch.”

My New Favorite Thing: “Ben and Skin’s Hot Potato Salad”

Quick continues to show that it is not afraid to take chances. Read this and tell me it doesn’t make you laugh. I have added it to my RSS.

RE: Oncor Hearts Great Blue Herons

The other day I brought this news item to your attention. Today comes “a neat story” about “the large bird” from KTAB news in Abilene. (Warning: loud music and MMF–multiple “metroplex” references.)

AFI Review: Certifiably Jonathan

Adrienne Gruben saw another movie and she wrote another review. After the jump is her write-up of Certifiably Jonathan, the documentary(ish) movie about Jonathan Winters. When I was growing up, my dad gave me sort of a comedic education. He didn’t try to teach me how to be funny, but he made sure I had exposure to Winters, Monty Python, early Mel Brooks, and more. Like literature and coffee, I was too young to appreciate it fully at the time, but I’m thankful now. Herewith, Adrienne’s review:

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Adam Angry

I wish I had someone to blame other than myself for not going to see comedian Eddie Izzard on either of the nights he was in Dallas. As Corby recounted on The Ticket, Izzard was to have just one show at the Majestic on Sunday. It sold out quickly. Izzard asked if the Majestic was booked on Monday. It wasn’t, so he added another show, and I missed that one too. He’s one of the best, and I missed the chance to see him live. Twice. Some people were more on top of their games and managed to attend. Harrumph.

Separated at Birth: Justin Nichols and Ross the Intern

Justin Nichols is the Plano City Council candidate who says his job as coordinator of the county’s teen court is at risk because he is openly gay. Ross the Intern is Leno’s fun boy. (Thanks to the ponying-up FrontBurnervian who spotted the resemblance.)

The Dr Pepper Incident?

Some exec at Dr Pepper is a true Guns N’ Roses fan. The Plano-based company is promising* a Dr Pepper to every man, woman, and child in the United States if Guns N’ Roses finishes and releases the “Chinese Democracy” album in 2008. (You’d have to give me one since I ain’t spending a penny on that stuff. Carbonated cough syrup. Blech.)

* I checked it closely — apparently not a belated April 1 prank since it originally came out days before.

Leading Off

1) DISD has a graduation rate of just 44 percent. The district says it has a mere 7 percent dropout rate. (Meanwhile, the DISD superintendent has a higher salary than the President of the United States.) Do the math on all that. Unless you’re viewing this on a DISD server since, well — come on. Not need to hurt yourself.

2) They’re getting rid of Robert Riggs and John Sparks, but this is the kind of reporting they’re keeping at Channel 11? Awesome.

3) Collin County Commissioner James Hoagland sends greetings to one and all from the 19th Century.

(Bonus: Your Wednesday moment of Zen.)