It Takes a Parent — a Good One — to Raise a Child
After finding the site for Dallas’ National Center for Policy Analysis yesterday, I spent too much time last night reading their archives. Some good stuff to be found there, including this posting on how the culture at home, not money and not privilege, so determines whether a kid will succeed. Money quotes? Yes we have it:
Child psychologists Betty Hart and Todd Risley tested the effect of class on the differences in how parents interact with their young children. They were able to document dramatic differences in the intensity and nature of the verbal stimulation the kids were getting:
- Professional parents directed an average of 487 “utterances” per hour toward their children, as compared to 301 for working class parents and only 176 for welfare parents.
- Among professional parents, the ratio of encouraging to discouraging utterances was six to one; for working-class parents, the ratio slipped to two to one; and welfare parents made two discouraging utterances for every encouraging one.
- By the time the children in the study were around three years old, the ones from professional families had average vocabularies of 1,116 words; the working-class ones averaged 749; the welfare kids, 525.
30 Comments to “It Takes a Parent — a Good One — to Raise a Child”
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Vicious circle
With graduation rates as they are, and considering the minimal requirements, this country will be extending H1B visas to fast-food workers in the coming generations.
Quick math shows that the kids of professionals average suffer about 70 negative utterances per hour, whereas kids of welfare parents suffer about 117 negative utterances per hour. But what qualifies as an utterance?
Tell you what, if I was called a “lazy such-and-such” twice a minute for an hour for any appreciable time, I might come to believe it, especially if it were only balanced with one nice thing per minute.
So, is “go get me another beer” a positive or negative utterance?
Depends.
What kind of beer are we talking about?
The good people of ARK - Adults Relating to Kids figured this out years ago and developed parenting programs which are easy to implement and cost effective.
http://www.thearkgroup.org/index.html
Adults who would be “intentional” in the lives of children are critical to reversing the implications of children living lives without adult relationships. Adults and adult thinking is the key to children’s self-concept. Check out ARK (Adults Relating to Kids) website today http://www.thearkgroup.org. You can make a differecne in a child’s life.
If someone made an utterance in the woods, would the falling trees hear it?
Wait a minute! I thought only government programs could raise our kids. Perhaps welfare parents speak so little to their children because they are waiting for someone with the government to tell them what to say.
So what this study tells me is that as a parent with a “white collar, professional” position, that it is actually good that I talk to my young daughter on a regular basis.
Next, someone will pay for a study that shows that the fact that my wife and I read to our daughter every night is good for her. And, that when we use consistent discipline, that it is a good thing also. Oh, and when as a father I work extra hard to let my daughter know she can accomplish anything, that must be productive too.
Sorry about the sarcasm, but that study was a waste of money.
It just takes common sense. I am not a perfect parent ( no one is), but raising a child is not about spending lots of money on gifts or buying all the new toys. Its not about letting them do whatever they want so they can “grow.” Its about spending time with them — that’s all kids really want and that is what their best memories will be.
Raising a kid is not about money or how much a family makes. Talking to your kid does not cost any parent a single penny.
Jeez, the results of that study are sad. The poor children of welfare parents never have a chance. And, despite our efforts since the 1960’s, more money is not going to solve the problem.
176 words per hour! Shame on any parents who talks so little to their kids.
BLM, so let’s just pull all the welfare money and Aid to Dependent Children away and let them sink or swim.
Yes, that will surely help these 2 and 3-year olds pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, as they ought to do. By gosh, let them go get a job instead of waiting on that government handout.
Conservative = NOT compassionate
Yes, you are right Julie. The dependency on government is too far along now to stop the assistance.
I don’t know how children, and entire communities for that matter, survived decades ago before government stepped in (dripping in sarcasm).
To me, temporary assistance is great. But again, I never said in my posting that it wasn’t. My point is that I think it is sad for these children that their parents cant take the time to speak to their own kids yet they expect the government (your taxes) to step in and help with welfare.
Doing the same thing over and over with the same poor results is not compassion — it is insanity!
BLM, conservatives sure are desperate this cycle, aren’t you? If nobody suggests that government programs should raise our children, you have to invent an “imaginary friend” to rebut, and thus keep your bilious, dying show on the road.
That said, I actually agree with every one of your points about parenting, as well as that the study was a waste of money and time.
As an aside, the current wisdom among grumpy old scolds, corporate HR coaches and the like is that the current crop of twentysomethings has received TOO much praise and positive reinforcement. They feel entitled to a perpetual font of same (so say these HR-consultant types).
Government efforts are misguided, not wrong categorically. Above all, education in this country is sunk — through a spectacular confluence of the worst impulses in both the liberal and the conservative mindset.
I agree that this all seems like it’s common sense but I think it’s more to the point just to say that we all need encouragement of some sort in our lives, no matter the age. As a working father, now with seven kids, (three mine and four hers) it gets harder to have time to spend with each of the kids, let alone to “utter” something to them. I would think, too, that a hug, a kindred pat on the back, a kiss goodbye in the morning, goes equally as far as an utterance. Since this topic is here today, I’d invite each of you to help me continue to build my http://www.dadscenter.org Web site that I’ve tried to make time for through the past four years, when I decided going through my divorce that there was something I could give back as part of going through that process.
For those who protest that this is common sense, the study is a waste of time and money, two rejoinders:
First, common sense ain’t common. That is, for those of us who are doing it (mostly) right, it seems maddeningly simple. For those who are not, it obviously is not common.
Second, it quantifies what we’ve commonly suspected. Frankly, the scale of the differences is scary to me, and I’ll bet few of you suspected just how gaping are the holes. That’s not just the utterances count, but the vocabulary differences. As concerned parents, understanding that scope of differences should inform you to inquire about class books the next time you’re in a teacher-parent conference, or in a parenting group, whatever. I would be asking if my child’s books are geared toward the few hundred-count vocabulary, or the 1,000+ vocabulary. If I didn’t get a concrete answer, or if I didn’t like the answer, then I have quantifiable ammunition for which to further plan my kid’s future schooling.
It’s pretty obvious that education can go a long way to helping correct whatever deficiencies are experienced at home. How about we take all the Iraq war money, and instead of dumping it over there we open limited-class-size Daycare/Preschools with College-educated teachers who are paid a competitive wage. And no, not “private” (ie, only wealthy kids need apply) but free to all children. With the money dumped into that losing Iraq situation, we could have put one of these in every town with a population over 300. Think of what that would do for the future of the US.
It’s all about priorities.
Julie, those schools already exist. My grandmother retired at age 63, went back college to be a certified teacher, and was one of the first Headstart teachers. She retired again at age 83.
Conservatives = not that NOT compassionate.
Is there any chance this all could be related to how much time the parents are with their children? Just looking at the people I know:
Professional people spend less time with their children as they can afford nannies and sitters on a regular basis. Therefore, when they see their children, they are more tolerant.
Working class can’t afford the nanny or sitter as often and are a bit less tolerant, yet educated enough to be somewhat suopportive.
The Welfare class are with their children all the time (since they don’t work and cannot afford regular care), thus seeing all their faults on a regular basis and growing more annoyed by them.
Is that too far fetched?
Huh, reasonable question. However, the gap in the positive/negative utterances seems much greater than the difference between the scenarios of “fresh” parenting after third-party care vs. frustrated parenting after a hard day of tending the kids. That might tend to somewhat explain the working-class parents’ records, but not completely.
However, the long day of solely tending the welfare kids - parents not working in the vast majority of cases - should, if anything, lead to MORE utterances.
But look again - welfare parents have FEWER utterances of BOTH kinds, although they have much more time with the kids.
Oh, and Julie, “education can go a long way…” is completely disproven by the study. Look again at the vocabulary levels - what magnificent school system and inspired teacher can double a kid’s vocabulary to match the more advanced kids, while simultaneously addressing the needs of the advanced kids? In this case, the “books not bombs” hyperbole is misapplied.
Julie,
I hate to dog pile here but, what the heck. I agree with “For the record” that you miss read the original post. Education in a fancy school with small class sizes is not the answer for these kids. I love the giant leap you make from the War in Iraq to poor parents… Even if these class rooms and teachers existed you would encounter the same problems. Education starts at home - example the vocab of the children in the story. If these poor children are sent to these new and wonderful schools but their parents still discourage them I don’t see a case for improvement here. (See “The Bell Curve” for more information) These children need loving and supportive parents not Iraq war dollars. So you statement of “It’s all about priorities” is correct, yet misguided…
Julie’s opinion sums up the left’s view perfectly. Liberals are lazy, so they view money as the solutions to problems, not effort.
Sigh…”liberals are lazy” vs. “war money would cure all evils” - those easy stereotypes are why we have the leaders we do in this country, citizens.
But it was an important and telling study.
I think it’s obvious that ignorance is the real poverty that is passed from generation to generation. As SB pointed out, the proper childrearing decisions of the most consequence are generally those that cost nothing. And any reasonable person can see that the government cannot, nor should they, “fix” it; likewise, only a fool would suggest we dismiss the problem as strictly a failing of character and pretend that such apathy would have no deleterious effect on the larger society.
No answers here — although I like to think I could do better that “liberals are lazy,” or “liberals view money as the solution,” or or “conservatives are selfish bigots.”
I think the “liberals are lazy” reference applies perfectly here, because not only to they want to solve problems with money, they want it to be somebody else’s money.
Look, I am officially over the war in Iraq as well, but we need to stop blaming it for everything. Next thing you know, Julie will be blaming Hillary’s loss in Texas on a Humvee in Baghdad. Sheesh.
“They” being who exactly? Julie? Are liberal prescriptions cited, let alone recommended, in the linked-to article? Seems to me the authors of the study pin the blame squarely on the culture that attends poverty, not on a paucity of government programs.
I actually agree with you so far as the issue at hand goes. But it grows tiresome to hear people slam liberals/conservatives just to slam liberals/conservatives. Antacids are cheap enough and easily come by.
April Fools! Ha ha ha. You people kill me. Man, was that fun. I told Trey he couldn’t pull it off, but he did. Now I owe him 10 bucks.
Okay, I agree with Daniel, again. If this trend continues Frontburner may be doomed. This is a perfect example of the conservative flinch to the slippery slope of “don’t you think a baby is better off being born to a ‘loving’ family” as the answer to questions about abortion. Not loving enough? Abortion.
The problem with the study is that we are drawing conclusions based on the break down of the groups. Not all professionals have nannies. And I can promise you, that not all professionals follow the 2-1 positive to negative ratio.
I think this confirms what should be conventional wisdom. Parents have subtle duties above room and board for 18 years. If you don’t love/empower or encourage your child, who is going to?
Eric Celeste,
For real? April Fool’s? Naaaaaaaaaaaah.
As a teacher in K and 1st grade for almost a decade, I can tell you that my #1 gripe is that low socio-economic kids arent’t talked to and with enough before they get to school. This has a profound impact on learning because of their vocabulary development, ability to follow directions (which a lot of learning is centered on), and their awareness of the world around them. For example, kids who get taken to a beach and have experiences to build on when they come to school seem to do better….but the poor kids’ parents are lazy 9 times out of 10 and blame everyone and feel sorry for themselves. The choose to not teach their children FOR FREE at home what a beach is from someone taking them to a public library and showing them a non-fiction book about the beach. They don’t talk to their kids because they yell at them. When teachers try to correct them, the kids look at them like “are you talking to me?” because they aren’t accustomed to someone saying please when they ask them to stop doing something. It starts in the home. Train your kids. I don’t blame it on rich, middle class, or poor. You made them so step up, turn the radio off in the car, and talk to the kids.
If the ratio of negative utterances to positive utterances by welfare parents is TWO to ONE, then praise the lord that their vocabularies are less than those of working class and professional parents. Sometimes in nature, the balance is perverted. Because the children of welfare parents suffer earlier on in life does not mean they are incapable of succeeding. The greater the despair, the greater the success can be. FACTS OF LIFE.