TSA’s New Nipple Ring Policy
In light of the Dallas woman whose nipple rings were removed with pliers prior to boarding a Lubbock-Dallas flight, the TSA has changed their policy. Here’s an excerpt of the agency’s statement on “the alleged improper screening”:
TSA has reviewed the procedures themselves and agrees that they need to be changed. In the future TSA will inform passengers that they have the option to resolve the alarm through a visual inspection of the article in lieu of removing the item in question.
A “visual inspection”? Something tells me job applications at TSA just went up about 250 percent.
12 Comments to “TSA’s New Nipple Ring Policy”
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Did you see the woman who had the nipple ring at issue? I mean, I’m sure she’s got a great personality and all but ….. I just withdrew my job application for the TSA.
I’m still trying to figure out how I can hurl a nipple ring of death and bring down a plane.
Adam, we received your application and have some questions.
1) Under “Qualifications,” you list experience at “Baby Dolls” but you failed to include their contact information.
2) In “References,” you included “12 Year Old Stripper from Diamonds Cabaret” but you did not give us a name.
3) In the “Salary Requirements” box we were looking for numbers. “I get paid to look at these things?” did not register on our automated system.
We look forward to the corrected application and will be in touch regarding an interview.
Sincerely,
TSA
3)
Does it require me working in Lubbock? no thanks
I thought the old policy offered the option of a voluntary sexual assualt (groping) as an alternative to removal.
That’s it — I’m getting my nips shafted again.
Bethany, You just crank down the window and let the turbines suck in said nipple ring. Of course, lowering a window means depressurization and maybe sucking some small person into the opening which leads too…Ooo! Is that a penny?!
That’s all well and fine, but what about my other ring? The cl– ring? Visual inspection there too?
That made my girl parts hurt, Sean.
how big are them parts bethany?
Hold on a minute! What if this alleged “victim” had been a real terrorist with plastic (explosive) implants and detonators linked to …THE RINGS!! If we don’t check it out, the terrorists win.
Become a TSA inspector, and maybe you will randomly have the opportunity to not find out, Nick!