Leading Off: Nipple Rings

Let’s pass on the easy jokes for a second. Instead, let’s consider how emblematic this incident is of a national security apparatus run amok. Nipple rings that have to be removed with a pair of pliers are a threat to an airplane — really? It is laughable until one realizes that this sort of bureaucratic enforcement of the national security “rules” happens every day. Unless we get sensible about how a free society deals with the threat of terrorism (which, to my mind, means realizing the existence of a certain level of danger and learning to live with it), we are slowly acquiescing to our own destruction as a free society. A good step in the opposite direction would be to fire the Lubbock TSA supervisor. (Meanwhile, Mandi Hamlin, you are my new civil liberties heroine.)

30 Comments to “Leading Off: Nipple Rings”
  • julie

    Wick, we peons can’t do anything about this problem. If we even look cross-eyed at TSA, we end up in airport jail. Voicing any protest at all can get you arrested. How do we do something to stop the monster that this TSA thing has become?

  • For the record

    Having flown worldwide AND to/from Lubbock both before and after 9/11, I can tell you that LBK’s screeners are ALWAYS the most zealous I encounter. They are barely within TSA guidelines (the TSA spokesperson did indeed say, accurately but ridiculously, that NOBODY will fly after setting off a metal detector.) However, their zeal borders on the frenzied, and that’s very obviously a result of local command, much as some small police forces/units are a force unto themselves.

    Nipple rings - wow, I’m feeling much safer now.

  • IttyBittyWussy

    Trey, how were you able to hack into Wick’s account?

  • Backer

    Not negating what Wick is saying - He’s right. By and large, TSA suffers from the “Little Man Syndrome”.
    However, does anyone find it as ironic as I do that she’s SO embarrased, behind a screen, all alone, in private - BUT she’s not emabarrased to tell the world she had ‘em to begin with and then reenact the removal on TV, in front of God and everybody, AND she gets Gloria Allred for an Attorney?
    Me thinks there’s shenanigans going on here.

  • OneArtDirector

    Good thing her piercing wasn’t 16″ lower….

  • Maggie

    Are you implying that my lip gloss and shampoo are not a threat to national security?

  • John

    Can we get some good feedback from the nipple-ring sector of FB nation? Why would someone have their nipples pierced and just what is the appeal? Who are some notables who’ve had their nips pierced?

  • Trey Garrison

    TSA employees are the bottom feeders of civil service — true make-work employees with big chips on their narrow shoulders and sticky fingers. Why is anyone surprised?

  • Trey Garrison
  • Eric Celeste

    Am I only the only one in America who thinks that I’d rather have an overzealous TSA than a lax one? This case is extreme, but generally the problems I see in airport lines are a bunch of first-classers getting ticked off that they have to follow the rules. Rules which are clearly posted, not only at airports but on the very accessible Internet. Okay, don’t make the woman yank out her nipple rings, but, hey, you with the shampoo, you know why you have to remove it? Because it’s the rules. Same reason I tell my 13-year-old she has to do her algebra even though she’ll never use it again. Because the world doesn’t revolve around you. So shut your mouth and take your $300 loafers off. Harumph.

  • HSH

    As someone else who has to fly to Lubbock rather often to check on elderly mother, Lubbock’s screeners are yahoos who always hassle people. I had one who made me take a Pelican fountain pen apart, including removing the ink cartridge, which resulted in ink spilling all over the TSA table. They are “typical Lubbock rednecks” with too much governmental power and too little brain matter.

  • Trey Garrison

    I’m glad to see turning 40 hasn’t had any negative effect on Eric’s attitude.

  • Bethany

    yanno, maybe it’s a sign nipples aren’t meant to have rings in them that you can’t take out. IJS

  • david

    > Am I only the only one in America
    > who thinks that I’d rather have
    > an overzealous TSA than a lax one?

    But those aren’t your only options. I’d rather have an intelligent TSA.

  • Bethany

    *giggles* That’s so cute.

  • Catherine

    I heard that she asked for, and was refused, a female agent. That’s why Gloria Allred is involved. I’m all for being safe, but I’m afraid homeland security is being used as an excuse to bully people.

  • For the record

    You’re right about bullying. My fave example: while going through San Diego Int’l for a red-eye, very slack time, passengers were all smiles with the TSA folks. The fellow behind me - could have been me, another business guy, not a $30K millionaire - asked innocently and politely, “How do we know which airports don’t require taking off shoes?” Immediately the smiles disappeared, as did the guy - he never made that flight.

    And I still don’t know the answer to that question.

  • jrp

    i’m with celeste here and i’m not even 40 yet

    at what point do people understand that taking off your shoes, belt, coats etc. and not having 24 oz. shampoo bottles et al are part of the standard operating procedure for getting through the security checkpoint at an airport??????

    it’s infuriating to see someone with a huge belt buckle or fancy loafers or multiple bottles of liquid get all snippity when asked to remove said item and place it on the belt thru the detector or told they can’t bring it with them

    really when do yous people grasp this concept?

    that said, the nipple ring thing is just sad…sad that this women still thinks nipple rings are cool (not that they ever really were) and sad that the TSA agents hands are tied as far as discretion goes

  • muffin man fan

    I’m going to need to see pictures of the pierced nipples before I can properly determine their threat level and how appropriate TSA’s actions were.

  • Kerry Okie

    If she was in Lubbock she was likely flying on Southwest. Does Southwest allow nipple rings on their flights?

    – kerry –

  • david

    Discretion is one thing (and it’s important), but do we seriously believe nipple rings can hijack an airplane? Because if so, I want to see that bad ass made-for-television movie starring Zooey Deschanel as Mandi Hamlin.

    Okay, maybe an intelligent TSA is too much to ask for. How about one that can discern the lethal difference between box cutters and toe nail clippers?

  • Bethany

    You have clearly never been to the wrong nail salon. In the right (wrong?) hands, toe nail clippers can be a dangerous, painful weapon.

  • Sean

    Next time I head to Lubbock, I’ll have to start a week early in order to remove my taint stud.

  • julie

    So Eric, when “the rules” progress to a point where you have to show “your papers” to any ***** with a badge who asks, or you are made to announce your social security out loud—will those rules be okay too? How about if your 13 yo has to start lifting her shirt at the school entrance to show she’s not wearing nipple rings? That rule okay with you?

    It’s a slippery slope, friend. Stop the madness now.

  • jrp

    that’s a pretty drastic scenario you painted there, julie

    i just don’t think it’ll ever come to that

    but reality is everyone boarding a plane post 9/11 needs to be accounted for and show proof of ID and put your bags through to at least give the illusion that the TSA isn’t allowing you to board with an explosive device other than…(fill-in-the-blank joke here)

  • Kerry Okie

    Maybe it’s just me, but….

    Do we really think that terrorists are so stupid that the only way they know to attack us is by hijacking planes and flying them into buildings?

  • Sean

    …armed with explosive-tipped nipple rings. (Try saying that five times in rapid succession.)

  • Spamboy

    Speaking from experience, nipple rings are a pain in the ass to remove (and reinsert after the fact). And I travelled every week for five years (4 of them post 9/11) without mine causing security issues. So I put all the blame for this mess on the TSA!

  • Dallasite

    Yes, the government sucks at running airport security, the post office, the Veterans Admin., etc…

    I’m sure that if we had socialized medicine it would all be good though, right?

  • Steve

    What’s with TSA? I’ve got a metal hip and go through the detector with no issue. Even the wands won’t pick it up unless they rub the thing against you. One TSA inspector told me that legally the wand is supposed to be 2″ from your body and at that distance it won’t catch my metal hip or if I didn’t want the hassle to go through the detector side ways. How in the world did they find nipple rings?

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