Fox 4 Shows Why Everyone Takes Local TV News So Seriously

Breakthrough localized report on the latest crippling disease — Internets addiction — including such unheard of, dire consequences as college students staying up all night and skipping class. Here’s to you, Ms. Localizing A Bogus Story to Fill Air Time.

11 comments

  1. Those “dire consequences” look similar to the consequences from a night of hard drinking, or simply being in your early 20s.

    @ 9:43 am on March 27, 2008
  2. That’s it. I now curse you with bad traffic for one week.

    @ 9:46 am on March 27, 2008
  3. Better to stay up all night playing World of Warcraft rather than staying out drinking! Or is it the other way around…

    @ 9:48 am on March 27, 2008
  4. Hey, let’s talk to a woman who knows someone who spends more time on the computer than she does. Fascinating!

    On another note, why would she–or anyone–have 34 drafts in their e-mail account?

    @ 10:00 am on March 27, 2008
  5. You callous *******, think about the families of the documented South Koreans falling dead.

    @ 10:21 am on March 27, 2008
  6. I’d have to be drunk before I’d watch the local news.

    @ 10:34 am on March 27, 2008
  7. dire…would that induce a case of spin spins? *rimshot*

    @ 10:40 am on March 27, 2008
  8. funniest thing about Lari Barrager’s dead-serious report about internet addiction: she closed her breathless segment by saying, completely without irony, ‘For more information about internet addition, go to our website.’
    I laughed all the way from that moment to the moment when Mike Doocy donned a Gene Simmons wig.
    Those cutups!

    @ 11:25 am on March 27, 2008
  9. It would be funny if the consequences weren’t so dire.

    @ 11:31 am on March 27, 2008
  10. Indeed. The consequences of Mike Doocy wearing wigs are indeed dire.

    @ 11:45 am on March 27, 2008
  11. tHeRE iS N0thINg Wr0NG wITH beINg 0nLinE f0r dayz @ a TIMe. i am pERfecTly FINE! *drinks more red bull and continues trolling boards*
    ASINQWECDpeufhq29 f2hco283u 0 NAS’i9wedC-

    @ 4:10 pm on March 27, 2008