Check Out This Airplane

One of my super sleuth buddies got a sneak peak at what he believes is the Sultan of Brunei’s airplane being remodeled in Waco. Murmur. The owner bought the plane for $100 million, gutted it, and is spending $120 million in “improvements” like solid gold sinks.

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From the Grave, Byron Nelson Rips My Heart Out

Well, okay, that’s an overstatement. But here’s the deal: a co-working FrontBurnervian just sent me this AP story about the $10 million redesign of the  TPC Four Seasons course (the only course that will be used in this year’s Byron Nelson). Reading the story, I couldn’t help but feel heartsick. See, yesterday Adam and I were supposed to play the course in a VIP media preview. They canceled the round, though, on account of Four Seasons officials feared the recent rains would leave the fairways vulnerable to my divot-makers. So sad. So very, very sad.

Rev. Wright Cancels on Brite

There go my weekend plans. I wasted on $10 getting my trenchcoat dry cleaned and 99 cents on a download.

AFI Dallas: Get Your Popcorn Ready

Esteemed People Newspaper culture stud Glenn Arbery has a preview of AFI, which begins tomorrow. The Celeste clan is scheduled to attend the opening night gala and screening at Neiman Marcus and the Majestic, respectively. (See the AFI Dallas website for all your fest questions.) I’m pretty fired up about the festival this year, primarily because I’ve got a buddy who is on the board and who allowed me into some of the AFI backstage planning sessions, so I know how genuinely thrilled the organizers are. That’s how I got to meet James Faust and Sarah Harris (pictured), the folks who actually pick all 255 of the festival shows (Glenn profiles them here). That’s how I got to see the big Post-It board (also pictured here) where they keep track of all the films that will be shown. Kinda cool, no? Based on my excellent taste in the cinema, as well as my conversations with various AFIers, I can safely say the AFI highlights, for me, will be as follows:

• My report from Thursday night
• Charlize Theron
• Tim’s report on Charlize Theron
• The Family Friendly series (especially Jump)
• Seeing Big Bob in full-on Big Bob Mode

Klimt at the Cleaners

At left is a photo of the poster of The Kiss by Gustav Klimt on the side of the Custom Cleaners at Mockingbird and Abrams. Why is it newsworthy? It isn’t. But I’ve driven past the thing on my way to work countless times and always wondered if the words at the bottom explained why it’s there. I stopped by this morning. They don’t. If you click to enlarge, you’ll see the paragraph just gives a brief Klimt bio and that “If you search the internet for his name you will find over 235,000 sites.” I called Custom Cleaners to find out more about the poster. The woman who answered seemed thoroughly confused and didn’t know what I was talking about. I’d like to think it’s the work of a sophisticated, well-meaning graffiti artist looking to increase the art history knowledge of the general public. But I could be wrong.

DPD Officers Go Above and Beyond

When some Dallas officers heard that a 7-year-old Oklahoma kid getting treatment in Dallas for cancer had his medications, his PSP game system, and some games stolen from the car while his family ate breakfast at Denny’s, they moved like super heroes. In the space of a few hours, Dallas cops raised $1,200 and presented the kid with a new PSP and a bundle of games, as well as some cash to replace the meds.

Dallas Man Wins Bush Library Design Contest

Lewis Calver won the Chronicle of Higher Education’s contest. As I said earlier, Big Bob Wilonsky probably deserves much of the credit for the victory. Though Calver’s design certainly has its own merits. Congrats, sir.

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

An alert–and lucky– FrontBurnervian Birder sends this report and picture:

I have a broad-billed hummingbird visiting my yard in Ellis County (just north of Ennis) right now. I’ve been told that there have only been 2 or 3 previous records of this bird in North Central Texas. I first noticed him on Sunday and he was still here this morning.

 How cool is that? Get your feeders runnin’.

James Fantroy Might Soon Be Homeless

Correction: James L. Fantroy might soon be homeless — but not James L. Fantroy, the former City Council member. The plaintiff in the below mentioned suit is James L. Fantroy Jr., son of the former councilman (though the filing doesn’t include the “Jr.”). A gross error that I regret.

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Usually when corrupt political officials get their comeuppance, it warms the cockles of my heart and puts wind beneath my wings. And ever since Paul Adrian broke the story in 2005 about then City Councilman James Fantroy stealing money from Paul Quinn College — an especially dastardly crime given how Fantroy cast himself as a hero of the black community — I’ve been eager to see the guy get what he deserves. But you know what? This just makes me sad. Jump for details about his looming eviction:

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How Will The Hottie and the Nottie Play In England? Not Well, Says Queenan.

I wish Dallas-born actress Christine Lakin a long and successful career on stage and/or screen, but I fear she will forever be linked to the Paris Hilton vehicle The Hottie and the Nottie. That’s (part of) the argument Joe Queenan makes in the Guardian as that movie makes its UK debut. Queenan writes at length (and with much humor) about what makes an awful movie truly awful. On the positive tip for Lakin, THandtheN is not the worst movie ever. It’s not even truly bad:

A generically appalling film like The Hottie and the Nottie is a scab that looks revolting while it is freshly coagulated; but once it festers, hardens and falls off the skin, it leaves no scar. By contrast, a truly bad movie, a bad movie for the ages, a bad movie made on an epic, lavish scale, is the cultural equivalent of leprosy: you can’t stand looking at it, but at the same time you can’t take your eyes off it.

Queenan even has some good(ish) news for Jessica Simpson:

To qualify as one of the worst films of all time, several strict requirements must be met. For starters, a truly awful movie must have started out with some expectation of not being awful. That is why making a horrific, cheapo motion picture that stars Hilton or Jessica Simpson is not really much of an accomplishment.

Read the whole thing.

Pizza Hut’s Bad Timing

Dallas-based Pizza Hut is expanding its menu items to include family-size pasta dishes and to promote the shift, the company is changing the logo on its Dallas North Tollway HQ to “Pasta Hut.” (Mmm. j/k) The sign change may happen as early as tomorrow, but it says here:

An official announcement of the company’s “name change” is scheduled for Tuesday, April Fool’s Day.

My guess, people will assume (and some might hope) it’s a joke.

Dirk’s Awkward/Awesome Turn at the Mike Last Night

Since The Big German has been reduced to showing off his Big & Tall semi-formal wear for the next few weeks, the gang at Fox Southwest had the bright idea of handing him a microphone and extremely shoddy earpiece for an interview during the Mavericks’ game against the Clippers last night. Pretty good stuff, though I’m not sure his use of “short bus” to describe an errant Corey Maggette jumper is kosher. (Hat tips: The Fanhouse and Odenized.)

American Cancels 200 Flights Before Gravity Does

Something like 10 percent of its schedule for Wednesday are being canceled for safety inspections. I do not want Tim Wagner’s job right now.

Arlington Woman Shows How To Get On Television

1) No smoke detector. Check. 2) Falling asleep while smoking. Check. 3) Smoking while on an oxygen tank. Big ol’ checkeroo.

Leading Off

1) It’s bad enough we have toxic hot air blowing into Dallas from Midlothian, but now it’s coming in from Fort Worth, too? Or maybe not, it seems. Who’s to say?

2) Is it just me, or does something just not smell right about this?

3) And the award for a best advertising gimmick pretending to be a news story is…

(Wednesday bonus: “Lascivious, salacious, outrageous!” Today’s Jackie Chiles Award goes to John Wiley Price. What’s a little double-dipping county taxpayer funds and wrecking county cars between friends? “Political nonsense.”)