Jason Kidd Grips, Grins With Local Journalist

I’m a pretty big sports fan, at least for a chick. I know a thing or two about a thing or two. (Well, sometimes.) So when Tim asked who wanted to attend Friday night’s Tuxes and Tennies Dallas Mavericks charity event, I jumped on the chance. Why? One, because as I’ve revealed before, I’ll pretty much go anywhere for free food and drinks. And two, because the 12-year-old girl in me was dying for the chance to meet Jason Kidd. See, I was a big fan of #5-turned-#2 when he was on the Mavs the first time around. Back in the days of Dick Motta, Jim Jackson, and Popeye Jones (when he played, rather than coached). I had Kidd’s rookie card, I had his jersey, I had a life-size poster of him on my door that I sent away for after buying multiple Coca-Cola products. Did I get to meet him? Well, yeah, the photo at left kind of gives that away. But I did have some other observations that I’ll share after the jump.

Elizabeth “Spider Monkey” Lavin was my date for the evening, and, I think it’s safe to say, the star of the show. That’s her on the left. She put the moves on Damp, gave Dirk a wet post-bathroom handshake, and cleaned up at the poker tables (thanks to a little help from yours truly, the friendly dealer, and the kindness of strangers, who loaned us their unwanted chips). She was the one who waylaid “Mr. Kidd” to snag the above photo. I know what you’re thinking: That’s the best a professional photographer could do? Cut her some slack, she took it on her new iPhone, which she just purchased earlier that day.

For dinner, we got stuck at the half-full spillover table, but met Mike Jones, the evening’s talented auctioneer, and his lovely wife. Though we were promised a Mavs player at every table, I’m pretty positive our table number wasn’t even in the hat the guys drew from. Needless to say, we were player-less at Table 23. Humph. Still, we had a pretty good view of the scene. Plus, these guys towered over everyone. It wasn’t hard to pick them out of the crowd.

Jet Terry emceed the evening, and the guy’s got a back-up career if the basketball thing ever falls through. He was funny, engaging, and professional. Avery Johnson promised the crowd, “We’re making it to the playoffs. We’re not worried about that.” So, you know, if they don’t, you can take it up with him. Dr. Gary Tylock, of the Tylock Eye Care and Laser Center, was awarded the night’s top prize for the best “tennies”—his shoes lit up and even had a working electronic ticker that would scroll phrases like “Go Mavs!”A long blooper video played, with outtakes from promo shoots, games, and lots from Dirk’s Jumbotron vignettes. Live auction items were scattered around the presentation of awards to several local charities. A Swarovski-crystal-embellished Mavs basketball went for $60,000. (No kidding.) A private lesson with Dirk for a group of kids was won by none other than J. Kidd, who bid $80,000. Auctioneer Mike convinced him to bump it up to $100K. Done deal.

Speaking of Mr. Kidd, his date was drop-dead gorgeous. She sweetly thanked me when I complimented her figure-hugging, floor-length, kelly green dress, and she waited patiently while a line of nerds like me took picture after picture with her man. Josh Howard rocked a ball cap with his tux. We met Bob Ortegal and Mark Followill, who were cutting up and having a ball. Mark even snagged a martini shaker-and-glass set for his new house. Dirk didn’t stay for the casino games but instead ducked out after dinner, followed by a police escort. What. Ever.

We ended the evening around 11:30. Much to Timmy’s dismay, we weren’t kicked out. Cuban never showed.