Attn: SMU Co-Eds

A Hilltop-employed FrontBurnervian just passed along a crime alert email from the SMU Police Department. There’s a man with a scam and a cam(era) on campus:

A man has been approaching female students in the Dedman Center for Lifetime Sports, Moody Coliseum and the Park Cities Plaza. Using the name “Dean Kelly,” he tells students he is an MTV producer and is looking for women to pose for photos. When the women arrive for a photo shoot, he attempts to get them to pose nude.

If this individual approaches you, please call the SMU Police Department as soon as possible at 214-SMU-3388. You can also provide information anonymously by calling 214-SMU-2TIP or online at http://smu.edu/2tip.

Beware. And keep your clothes on in front of strangers.

Valentine’s Day And Last-Minute Gifts

The offices at D Magazine are full of fragrant flowers today. My thoughtful fiance sent me a beautiful arrangement from one of my favorite flower shops, Cymbidium. When I went down to pick them up, there were at least three other deliveries. I just asked our receptionist how many flower deliveries have come across her desk today. She said, “I lost count after lunch, but by then we had thirteen, I would say at least twenty so far”. Looks like the ladies of D have some good men in their lives.
If you’re a huge slacker and didn’t get your flower order in on time and are starting to panic because you haven’t gotten your wife/girlfriend/lover a gift for Valentine’s Day, local jeweler, Carter Malouf to the rescue. If you are in need of a quick Valentine present for under $300, he has a collection of various pearl necklaces (in various colors - white, pink, brown, and other earth tones). He will even deliver them to you. Just give him a call: 214-750-5395. Another option: local shop, Stephanie Anne has a special going on - buy any piece of lounge wear or lingerie, and get a complimentary Lux candle.

The Case of the (Accused) Picasso-Thieving Artist: At Last, Some Answers

I apologize in advance if you are tired of me telling you about Michael Jon Schofield, but I still say the whole thing is inherently interesting. I mean, it’s no Small-Town Sheriff Scandal Movie in the Making, but still interesting. To catch up: Schofield is a Newport Beach artist accused of stealing a Picasso drawing that he had used as collateral for a personal loan that he didn’t repay. He ended up being arrested in Dallas and then extradited to Orange County. I’m sure — assuming you’re still paying attention — you’re wondering why? how? Dallas? I spoke to a police officer who was familiar with the case to find some answers.

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Plugging the PLUG Awards (Again)

Remember when I posted about the PLUG Awards? Of course you do; it was awesome. Anyway, you still have a couple of days to vote. Also, the awards will be given out on March 6 at Terminal 5 in New York City at a shindig hosted by Patton Oswalt (funny guy), and featuring performances by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Jose Gonzalez, and lovely and talented local girl St. Vincent. If you can’t make it to NYC, you can see the whole shebang here.

Rise: A Preview

Burp.

Re: Whole Foods

Someone who is smarter than I–and I’d guess a lot of people could claim that distinction–explain something to me. Because I’m probably just being stupid. The Minyard’s was grandfathered into the Planned Development District, yes? So if Whole Foods hadn’t bought the site, there wouldn’t be a big deal, except people would gripe about the Minyard’s for another 30 years. Now that Whole Foods has given up and decided to refurbish, the store still won’t conform to restrictions on the books, right? The point, I take it, is that retail in that location theoretically should front to Abrams, maintaining the illusion of Lakewood’s “Main Street feel”–a ship that sailed long ago. Whole Foods won’t front to Abrams. I guess I just don’t see what people are fighting against. Again, I’m probably just being stupid.

Los Toros Are Coming

A soccery FrontBurnervian sends along a this item of FC Dallas’ latest attempt at stoking the fires of fandom. At least, I assume FC Dallas is responsible for the viral-marketing-inspired campaign, rather than a bored superfan. It’s a take-off on the anti-Church of Scientology vids making their way across the Internet of late. Check out Los Toros’ message, if so inclined.

A Nasty Race in the Collin County Commissioners Court

Awhile back I told you about a good fight over a commissioner’s seat in Collin County. In this corner is Corbett Howard, the challenger. In the other corner is the incumbent, Commissioner Joe Jaynes. Howard’s people wrote the state AG a letter claiming that Jaynes and the county were doing what they could to avoid complying with an open records request. Well, Howard’s camp eventually got a box full of e-mails written to and from Commissioner Jaynes. And some of those e-mails have found their way to yrs trly. After spending some time cuddling with them, I have some questions for Jaynes:

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Follow-up to Heritage Auction Galleries’ Little Mix-up

Heritage Auction Galleries’ has filed a lawsuit against the company that sold them phony Hollywood memorabilia for fraud, negligent misrepresentation, and breach of contract. Go get you some, HAG.

Tattoo-a-palooza

An inquiring FrontBurnervian writes:

Just returned from lunch at Angry Dog and on our way down Main we noticed lines about 60 deep at both Taboo Tattoo and Tigger’s Tattoo. Does the FB nation know why they are lined up that deep at noon? Is there something I’m missing out on, because I’ve got no problems going back over there and getting Tim Rogers put on my back side cheeks.

Anyone know what’s up? A special V-Day ink giveaway?

Bob Dylan is On the Road Again, Soon to Be In Dallas

Bob Dylan will be playing a trio of shows at the House of Blues Thursday through Saturday next week, and tickets are still available through Ticketmaster. (Looks like you need that little password listed on the site to purchase ‘em.) Now, no disrespect to Bob, but I saw him perform at Austin City Limits last year, and I couldn’t understand a freakin’ word the guy said. Even Tall Paul said it sucked. I believe his exact words were “sounded like death.” But if that’s your thing, knock yourself out. I won’t be joining you, but tell Jakob I said hi.

Kaufman County Sheriff Shenanigans

Here’s my movie pitch based on real-life recent events in the small town of Pelican Bay, northwest of Fort Worth, in the race leading up to the Republican primary for Kaufman County Sheriff:

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New York AG Targets UnitedHealth Group

The New York Attorney General is planning to sue UnitedHealth Group Inc., which does a ton of business in North Texas. At issue: The way health insurers set rates for providers who aren’t in their “networks.” The AG’s also issued subpoenas to other carriers including Aetna, Cigna and Wellpoint in connection with the suit. And hey, just because Cigna misrouted one of my medical-reimbursement claims, then misinformed and stonewalled me for months about it–and still hasn’t coughed up the dough!–has nothing at all to do with me posting this news.

Arlington Is Fat City (Fort Worth and Dallas Not Far Behind, So To Speak)

So Men’s Fitness thinks we’re fat, ranking Arlington, Fort Worth, and Dallas as the #2, #4, and #6 fattest cities in America. Maybe it’s genetic, but it’s hardly news for anyone who looks at their fellow patrons at the mall. But could this tidbit from the Star-Telegram be true?

No doubt this helps explain yet another Arlington phenomenon last year — a new restaurant opening on an average of every 9.6 days.

Discuss.

Whole Foods to Abandon Its Plans for New Store, Refurbish Existing Minyard’s Eyesore Instead

Scott Simon from Whole Foods just sent out an e-mail blast to interested parties (including the good folks at Back Talk) saying that it’s now too expensive (and, I figure, too frustratingly frustrating) to continue fighting the 48 Lakewood-area neighborhood groups and the city planning commission. So instead of building its whip-a new store (I hope to get permission some day to post the drawings), WF is going to refurbish the existing structure. It will still be about the same size (40K square feet or so), Simon said in a follow-up e-mail, but there’s no way to know if, for example, the cool downtown Austin-style rooftop deck will be salvaged. This is good in that it will get a store in there more quickly. This is bad, to me, in that the forces of stubborness won. C’est la vie. His full e-mail after the jump.

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The Incredibly Complicated Texas Primary

The crew at BurntOrangeReport.com explain how Obama can win Texas. In the upper right-hand corner, there’s a resource box for anybody who wants to try to understand how delegates will be selected. Why Texas Democrats devised such an obtuse system is, I suppose, beyond explanation, but I have to believe lawyers were on the committee.

Leading Off

1. The Mavs’ blockbuster trade for Jason Kidd is off for now, as Devean George refused to be included in the deal. No, I’m not Kidding. (Nailed it!)

2. An arrest warrant has been issued for ex-DART chairwoman/current forgery suspect Lynn Flint Shaw. I’m guessing sending a letter to DA Craig Watkins from DA Craig Watkins, absolving her of all charges, would only lead to more trouble.

3. High on my list of things I root against: homeowners associations.

Bonus Item: Lost, featuring Dallas’ own Elizabeth Mitchell, has been awesome this season. Will it get even awesomer tonight? And who are the Oceanic Six? Discuss.