Pistols and Parties Don’t Mix

A rightly admonishing FrontBurnervian wondered why this story had not yet found its way to our blog. It’s a sad story of a 20-year-old man who was drunk, shot his gun in the air, and thought he’d run out of bullets. But there was one left, which meant a sad ending when the man put the gun to his head. Not knowing how to deal with the potential Darwin Award winner, I struggled to write a sonnet–Shakespearean, natch. (I know, I know. It doesn’t scan so good. But I get credit for trying, right? And the non-iambic pentameter lines are pathetic fallacy. Or something.)

O death you are but wickedness and woe
To deal your cards so quick and with a smirk.
You play as if your hand will never slow.
You hide and laugh yet lethally you lurk.
On Friday past, some peeps put back some brew.
‘Twas late. But one is not so late an hour.
The street was named with Injun roots (not Sioux)–
A tribe known as the League of Peace and Power.
Amid the crowd Andreous getting drunk.
He stood (or tried) with friends and spoke his mind.
His life’s end a thought that could not be thunk.
And with such boldness his gun he did find.
With it, he shot the sky and silence ceased.
He lost count and bet his life. Now he rest in peace.

Another Reason Why I Love DFW’s Terminal D

I fly a lot therefore I spend tons of time at DFW. It’s always a treat when my flight leaves from Terminal D because it’s a great place to eat and shop. And drink. Like the night my flight to Italy was delayed and I was so happy to find La Bodega Winery open for business. Now comes word that the Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport Board of Directors agrees with me. They just named La Bodega Winery, located at Gate D14, “2007 Retail Concessionaire of the Year.” Take that Miami. And Chicago. And Atlanta.

Media, Pols Talking Us Into A Recession?

Media types–you know who you are–and certain politicos have such a vested interest in hyping the current economy as dogmeat, there’s a good chance we’re talking ourselves into a recession. Investment banker Mark Dufilho of Houlihan Lokey said much the same during a Dallas Capital Markets Update this morning at the Belo Mansion. Though it’s “a little shaky” the U.S. economy still has legs, Dufilho said, there’s still a ton of capital out there looking for a home, and business/finance deals are still getting done. However, he added, “USA Today runs a story every day on whether we’re headed into a recession. You try to tell them, if they keep running that story, there will be a recession!”

GodTubers (Heart) Huckabee

A very unscientific (intelligently designed?) poll on Plano-based GodTube.com has that smirking hick leading the pack. Not surprising their demographic would back the guy who believes the earth is 6,000 years old. But quite surprising is that the latter-day Second Coming — Barack Obama — is pulling second with Hillary in third.

Re: Video of Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo out on the Town

My apologies. An art-loving FrontBurnervian says this video of the couple is much more engaging, especially if you like Journey. Also don’t watch this one.

Cuban Courting Clippers Fan to Switch Teams

Darrell Bailey, better known to Staples Center regulars as Clipper Darrell, is apparently weighing an offer from the Mavericks to join the payroll and become Mavericks Darrell (or something like that — Mavs Darrell, maybe?). When reached for comment, I said, “Dude. Pay me. Or just give me free tickets in exchange for my award-winning blend of dance moves and prop comedy. I work cheap…ish.”

Party Like It’s 1998

Alison Draper, the all-star publisher of Quick, has organized herself a sweet event this weekend: MystiQal, an allish-day party celebrating Mardi Gras, this Saturday in Victory Park. The highlight: The Grambling State University Tiger Marching Band, the headliner for the first nighttime parade in Dallas in 10 years. Bring. It. (Full release after the jump.)

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Two 7-Elevens on Garland Road Robbed

No one messes with my 7-Elevens and gets away with it. No one!

According to Senior Cpl. Kevin Janse, the men took “an undisclosed amount of cash, a few cartons of cigarettes, and a bag of chips.” Prediction: these guys aren’t the sort of professional thieves that will disappear into the ether. I doubt we’re talking about De Niro and the gang from Heat.

Video of Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo out on the Town

An alert FBvian points us to the video shot in L.A. Don’t watch it.

Bestest Headline So Far Today

“‘Pre-operative transvestite’ suspected in Plano bank robbery.” Um, come back to Dallas, where it’s safe? And where our bank robbers are one or the other, not a bit of both? Anyone?

Leading Off

1. “Hey, let’s go break in the school, like in a movie or video game or sumthin’! Everyone will think we’re all that. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? It’s not like the Lewisville cops will get word of our being on the roof and organize a massive police response.”

2. Farmers Branch has asked a federal judge to please hurry and make a ruling on the city’s new rental ban so they can get rid of brown people in a timely manner. (Sorry for the legalese.)

3. “Dude, I should totally put this strobe light on my Saturn and pull people over. Act like a cop and stuff. How sweet would that be? What? Third-degree felony? Whatever, dude.”