Comments on: Open Letter to Ray French http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/ FrontBurner® has been called the best blog in Dallas (repeatedly), a snarky celebration of ignorance, and a daily conversation about Dallas among the editors of D Magazine. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 03:59:30 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Michelle http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/comment-page-1/#comment-13484 Michelle Wed, 23 Jan 2008 20:21:32 +0000 http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/#comment-13484 pak, Melinda would probably be doing pretty damn well even if she hadn't married Bill. She was valedictorian of her class at Ursuline, got her bachelor's and MBA at Duke, and met him while she was working at Microsoft. She worked for the company for quite awhile; she wasn't just some gold digger looking for a rich husband. pak, Melinda would probably be doing pretty damn well even if she hadn’t married Bill. She was valedictorian of her class at Ursuline, got her bachelor’s and MBA at Duke, and met him while she was working at Microsoft. She worked for the company for quite awhile; she wasn’t just some gold digger looking for a rich husband.

]]> By: pak http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/comment-page-1/#comment-13086 pak Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:05:08 +0000 http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/#comment-13086 and where would Melinda be if she hadn't married into money? her husband is worth $100 billion and where would Melinda be if she hadn’t married into money? her husband is worth $100 billion

]]> By: dave little http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/comment-page-1/#comment-13070 dave little Tue, 22 Jan 2008 22:19:19 +0000 http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/#comment-13070 This might be off topic but women don't like it when you fart in front of them. It's true. I conducted a survey. In an elevator. Full of women. And it was unanimous. Now, I didn't use a placebo to check and see if maybe the women in the elevator didn't care for me. No, I farted. It was not premeditated. I didn't go in the elevator with farting on my mind. It just happened. And then I smiled. I didn't laugh. I didn't giggle. Didn't smirk. I just acknowledged, using a facial tic, that i was the owner. And they were offended. It's not like I was wearing a t-shirt that read "My honor student with aids can beat up your honor student with herpes." Okay, I was wearing it but it was under my coat. And I promise you that if one of the women had farted I would have laughed until I peed my pants, which I'm sure the gals would have also found offensive but I'm on the same page with them concerning that particular indiscretion. There's no place in public where urine stained pants would be considered a valued accessory. And while I'm not a doctor (though I do look down on people like they do), I am very concerned with what happens to a fart when you hold it in. I not only googled that question but I also posted it in a forum at nascar.com and I got nothing. Which perplexed me. Because I don't think the fart disappears. And through meditation and several glasses of wine, I have determined that the fart goes back through your digestive system and comes out through your mouth and sounds something like this: "No, honey, you're much fatter than her." "Baby, I don't care what you wear." "Sure, dear, I'll stop staring at good-looking women. And for my next trick, I'll unfry and egg." So, ladies, the next time a guy farts in front of you, be glad. At least he didn't talk. Again, sorry if this was off topic. This might be off topic but women don’t like it when you fart in front of them. It’s true. I conducted a survey. In an elevator. Full of women. And it was unanimous. Now, I didn’t use a placebo to check and see if maybe the women in the elevator didn’t care for me. No, I farted. It was not premeditated. I didn’t go in the elevator with farting on my mind. It just happened. And then I smiled. I didn’t laugh. I didn’t giggle. Didn’t smirk. I just acknowledged, using a facial tic, that i was the owner. And they were offended. It’s not like I was wearing a t-shirt that read “My honor student with aids can beat up your honor student with herpes.” Okay, I was wearing it but it was under my coat. And I promise you that if one of the women had farted I would have laughed until I peed my pants, which I’m sure the gals would have also found offensive but I’m on the same page with them concerning that particular indiscretion. There’s no place in public where urine stained pants would be considered a valued accessory. And while I’m not a doctor (though I do look down on people like they do), I am very concerned with what happens to a fart when you hold it in. I not only googled that question but I also posted it in a forum at nascar.com and I got nothing. Which perplexed me. Because I don’t think the fart disappears. And through meditation and several glasses of wine, I have determined that the fart goes back through your digestive system and comes out through your mouth and sounds something like this:

“No, honey, you’re much fatter than her.”

“Baby, I don’t care what you wear.”

“Sure, dear, I’ll stop staring at good-looking women. And for my next trick, I’ll unfry and egg.”

So, ladies, the next time a guy farts in front of you, be glad. At least he didn’t talk.

Again, sorry if this was off topic.

]]> By: Mr. French http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/comment-page-1/#comment-13049 Mr. French Tue, 22 Jan 2008 19:58:46 +0000 http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/#comment-13049 Tim Of course I remember you constant teasing during high school. While many said you were just experimenting and trying to find yourself, I saw it for what it was. A cry for attention. Now you have it. What would you like to do with it? I am very sorry that I am featured in Fortune Magazine while you live your life via free hands outs and contra. Sorry the Marty Cortland gig didn't plument you to SNL status. Perhaps someday you will come to terms with the fact that you are more (or less) than the sum of your job. Don't spend your entire life being bitter. Who knows, maybe someday I will convince Melinda to take an ad out in your publication and you can spend the proceeds on alcohol. Tim

Of course I remember you constant teasing during high school. While many said you were just experimenting and trying to find yourself, I saw it for what it was. A cry for attention. Now you have it. What would you like to do with it? I am very sorry that I am featured in Fortune Magazine while you live your life via free hands outs and contra. Sorry the Marty Cortland gig didn’t plument you to SNL status. Perhaps someday you will come to terms with the fact that you are more (or less) than the sum of your job. Don’t spend your entire life being bitter. Who knows, maybe someday I will convince Melinda to take an ad out in your publication and you can spend the proceeds on alcohol.

]]> By: Eric Celeste http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/comment-page-1/#comment-13040 Eric Celeste Tue, 22 Jan 2008 19:05:43 +0000 http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/#comment-13040 I [HEART] the amanda I [HEART] the amanda

]]> By: the amanda http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/comment-page-1/#comment-13027 the amanda Tue, 22 Jan 2008 18:05:56 +0000 http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2008/01/22/open-letter-to-ray-french/#comment-13027 Is there anyone in this town you haven't offended? Is there anyone in this town you haven’t offended?

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