Re: Highland Park Fountain Demolished

“Mrs. Goldberger, the bris did not go well.”

Barbara Vice-Staples Did Not Have a Nice Trip And She Won’t See You Next Fall

At a gas station owned by Dallas’ Vishal K. Enterprise, Barbara Vice-Staples was going about her business, presumably paying for her gas and perhaps a snack. When she turned to leave, she tripped on a hat rack. What next? Does she:

a. Turn red in the face and hurry out the store, vowing never to return again.
b. End up finding a hat that is the perfect gift for a distant relative.
c. Blame Scientology.
d. Sue.

The answer can be found here.

An Open Letter to Dr. Phil

Dear Dr. Phil,

Have you learned nothing from this whole mess? Please, shut up about Britney.

Love,

Us

Sneak Peeking at the Stoneleigh Hotel

Went to the newly renovated Stoneleigh Hotel last night for a “first glimpse” party. D Home’s Candy Evans was there too, and she gives her report over here. The party was benefiting the Dallas Museum of Art League, and we were told to dress in “glamorous attire” (murmur). People really took this seriously–we spotted more fur, feathers and up-dos than we had since the last Crystal Charity luncheon we were invited to. A few men were actually in tuxes. We were in jeans. Anyway. Bottom line here: It’s definitely not as finished as we were expecting.

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State Sen. John Carona Doesn’t Trust You With a Phone

There’s rarely a bad idea that comes along that Dallas Sen. John Carona won’t wrap both his beefy mitts around, but this one’s a doozy. Carona wants to kill the pre-paid cell phone business in Texas. Sure, pre-paid phones are invaluable for poor people, parents who want to limit kid’s cellphone use, people who value their anonymity from marketing lists, people who don’t like the idea of government snoops eavesdropping, and people who don’t like cellphone contracts. And sure, there’s that whole “freedom” and “free markets” mess in his way. Feh, Carona says. Because a few people use them nefariously, they pretty much need to be gone.

Plum Loco

Wylie Independent School District says Junior Lakia Watkin’s new hairdo violates the school’s dress code. Her hair is dyed a plum color. The school says students’ hair must be a color that can be grown naturally. But (cue technicality-pointing-out lawyer) are plums not “natural”? Ergo, would it not be the case that plums — and their color — are “natural”?

Collin County Bloodsuckers Will Be Out This Weekend

If you’re driving in Collin County this weekend, there’s a chance you could have a police officer jabbing a needle in your arm against your will. Yes sir, it’s another “no refusal” weekend where cops plan to use fill-in-the-blank affidavits (consider the implications of that) and rubber-stamp judges to circumvent Texas laws that say you can refuse a breath or blood test when you’re suspected of driving after a few libations. Good discussion here.

Highland Park Fountain Demolished

For the past couple days, on the way to work, I’ve been watching workmen tinker with the fountain in the middle of the road, where Oak Lawn turns into Preston. I figured they were just sprucing the thing up. But no. This morning they were jackhammering the fountain. WTF, mate? Surely that’s some sort of historical landmark.

Leading Off

1. Smirnoff Music Centre changes its name to SuperPages.com Center. I’ll keep calling it what I always do: the place where my friend Jeff got drunk off Thunderbird at a Metallica show and broke the windshield of my Escort … Amphitheater.

2. Heroin, steroids, suicides, now a federal investigation into a fake ID ring. Is there one teenager in Plano parents don’t have to worry about? Maybe that’s why Stacey apologizes all the time.

3. Amid scandal, Lynn Flint Shaw resigns as DART Board Chair. After the Trinity vote, Jim Schutze was probably due for a win.

Sarah Eveans Throws a Huckabee at Tom Brady

I don’t quite understand why Brady just showed up in our offices. But the girls seem happy.

Central Is a Wreck

Be advised, northward traveling FBvians: Adam just called from the field to say Central Expressway is a nightmare from downtown all the way to Mockingbird (at least). Go here to see more.

Columnist Prompts Lunchtime Navel-Gazing

Agree or not with what he types, Rod Dreher is a good writer. A scold? Sure. Talented, nonetheless. But this passage from his Sunday column (read the whole thing here) has been niggling at me since I read it three days ago, and I need to spout off to exorcise it from my brain.

Today’s child-men have been formed by a culture that has lost – or, rather, thrown away – a relatively fixed standard of manhood … That’s mostly gone, replaced by a therapeutic model in which the autonomous self is its own judge, and personal satisfaction is the measure of a life well lived.

I reckon I’m left wondering why I need to contract out my own judgment. If my judgment is fatally flawed, how can I use it to pick someone else to do my judging for me? What makes their judgment of my “autonomous self” superior? And how is achieving personal satisfaction not the “measure of a life well lived”? When did the pursuit of happiness become morally suspect? Isn’t a person’s life an end to itself, or are you saying a person’s life is only worthy if it’s the means to other people’s ends? If I don’t take care of pursuing my own happiness and satisfaction, who is supposed to? (Yes, I’m procrastinating from my duties to the print version of FrontBurner. And yes, I own a PlayStation 3.)