Articles for December 14th, 2007
Fun With DMN Headlines, Stereotypes
“Faced with Wii shortage, Nintendo to offer rain checks at GameStop”
NINTENDO SPOKESMAN: And so, to sum up, since retailers are facing a Wii shortage, we’re offering rain checks at GameStop locations.
IRISH REPORTER: Excuse me, sir, a wee shortage of what?
NINTENDO SPOKESMAN: I don’t understand the question. It’s like I said: “A Wii shortage.”
IRISH REPORTER: A wee shortage of what? Super Mario Galaxy? Masters of Illusion? What?
And … scene.
How the Rangers Got Their New Reliever
The geniuses at The Dugout have a behind the scenes look at how the Rangers scored their new Japanese relief pitcher. In case you were wondering, yes, it does involve Maury Povich.
Janelle Thompson, What Do You Want For Christmas?
[Exclusive: Must credit FrontBurner] “I guess, in retrospect, I would have to say a bigger caliber handgun. I mean, a .22 is just fine when you’re trying to scatter a couple of possums or break up a dust-up at the trailer park. But when you’re trying to kill your son-in-law, on orders from your daughter, while he’s going to town on a slice of cake, you really need the stopping power of a Desert Eagle .45, or maybe a snub-nosed .38. What’s that? I don’t think the kind of cake he was eating at the time is relevant. Well, I don’t care if your boss thinks it’s funny. Where’d you say you work again? Oh. I thought it was D Home. Jailer? I’m ready to go.”
Re: Win $15 iTunes Gift Certificate
Standing and clapping for Fruitdog, who found this Google pic and wrote: “Looks like Bigfoot got himself a shave and a nice pair of jorts.”
Best Mag Cover of 2007, According to Time
It’s this one from TexMo, the take-off on the famous National Lampoon cover. (See the nine runners-up here.) And although TexMo’s not real keen on giving us online props, we are neither small nor petty. We say, congrats, guys. It was a fantastic cover.
Oh, and as for our insistence on referring to you as TexMo when we found out it bugs you — that’s not small and petty. That’s just comedy.
Disconnected At Cafe R&D
What’s up with the Park Cities and cellphones? Don’t they like talking to people over there? Tried Preston Center’s new Cafe R&D, where it says right on the menu, No cellphones allowed in the dining room. Next thing you know we’ll have to check ‘em at the door, just like our handguns.
Quote Of The Day (Year?)
In this DMN piece about the Mitchell Report on steroid use in MLB, Jim “Sunny” Sundberg, now the executive vice president for communications and public relations for the Rangers, says, “Baseball took a shot today.” Bet he wishes he had that one back.
Ellis-Kirk New Honcho At Women’s Museum
Matrice Ellis-Kirk, whose resume is almost as impressive as her husband’s, former Dallas Mayor Ron Kirk, has another credit to add today. She’s the new president of The Women’s Museum, succeeding Tegwin Dyer Pulley. Ellis-Kirk, managing partner at executive search firm Heidrick & Struggles, has been involved with the museum since its inception. Liz Minyard takes over as VP.
House For Sale in Cozy White Rock Area
I’m just guessing here, based on the news this morning. But if you’re in the market, check it out.
Tom Leppert, What Do You Want For Christmas?
“Mittens.”
Fred Bronstein Leaves Dallas Symphony Orchestra
Fred Bronstein told his staff this morning that he’s leaving the DSO for a gig in St. Louis, a city with a miserable football team and no basketball team. The press release is expected soon out of St. Louis.
Update: As promised, the release is after the jump.
Kitty Wigs Is Cat’s Meow
A couple of friends of mine told me last night that Anderson Cooper scooped me. They said he had a story on Kitty Wigs, and I didn’t. You win this time, Anderson. Kitty Wigs is the brainchild of Dallas artist/ designer/ cool-person-I-don’t-know-but-would-like-to-meet-someday Julie Jackson. Memory-having FrontBurnervians will remember Jackson from a previous post about Subversive Cross Stitch, which is a) pretty much what it sounds like, b) made into a book, and c) awesome. (Note: These memory-having readers need to have a long, longterm memory, as the post pre-dates a three-year-old switching of servers that vanished the original post into the Internet ether.) Check out the wigs and also the pub from across the pond, with this story in the Sun.
Win a $15 iTunes Gift Certificate
You’ve got today and the weekend, people. Contest ends Monday. I’m still looking for that magic shot to take the prize. You know, Troy Aikman jogging with a topless dwarf. Something like that. Don’t let the FrontBurner Nation down.
Alibaster K. Abthernabther: He’s Back
Jumped the shark? Yes and no.
Friday Fun
It’s getting close enough to Christmas that I should find some holiday-related Friday Fun. And what’s more Christmas-y than snowball fights, basic game instructions, and “instant classic” movie promotions. With a hat tap to the kind FrontBurnervian who sent it to me, I give to you Snowball Fight, from the movie Elf. Enjoy, and merry merry.
All material copyright © 2008 D Magazine. All rights reserved.
