W00t and Neologism

A patient FrontBurnervian suggested a couple of new words of her own (after “w00t” was recently named Word of the Year):

Seriously, how do I submit a new word? Doesn’t Washington Post publish a list each year? I suggest: starbonics - the language of barristers and coffee drinkers at Starbuck’s. I have another that’s less clever but descriptive and understandable to those in the remodeling or home construction fields. kitchetoriam - a wide open area within a home that includes a kitchen, den, game table and home theater system.

Alibaster K. Abthernabther Is Not Retiring

(Side note: it tickles me that when you Google his name, this blog (and not his) is the first thing to come up.) Adam, I’m pretty sure he put up that post to draw people offsides — and to keep us talking about him. Which only shows his genius. You people who are saying AKA has jumped the shark are only saying that because it’s cool to say something has jumped the shark after it has only been in existence for 60 days. Me? I say that saying something has jumped the shark has jumped the shark. Think about it, Hi.

When I asked AKA himself whether he was truly retiring, he made reference to Jay-Z and Rocky. So you heard it here first. AKA ain’t done yet. He’s just getting started. Rack it.

Lockdown at William Hawley Atwell Law Academy

There can be only one.

Burn Out ≥ Fade Away

Alibaster K. Abthernabther, we barely knew thee. Let’s be honest: We didn’t know you at all. Looks like the Great Anonymous One is throwing in the cravat. (Or maybe he’s just saving his material for Quick.)

Quotes I’ve Heard Today That Made Me Laugh

“When something good happens to the Cowboys and Wade Phillips gets excited and pumps his fist, doesn’t he look like a guy whose name was just called as the next contestant on the Price is Right?” — caller to KTCK 1310 The Ticket morning show

“Avi Adelman is the Al Sharpton of code enforcement.” — Zac Crain, during a story meeting

Traffic Update: Old Town Is Gridlocked

If you were thinking of popping on over to Old Town for a little Christmas shopping this afternoon, I suggest you wait a while. Like, maybe until February. The traffic light at Greenville Ave. and Lovers Ln. is out as a road crew does construction. Even when the light is fully functioning, that intersection is a bit of a mess. Today, it’s extra yucky. Consider yourself advised.

CompUSA: Don’t Let the Door Hit Ya

Here’s a copy of the layoff letter CompUSA sent employees. (Hat tip.) It’s like they’re going out of their way to be cold about it. (Click on the letter for a closer view.)

Re: Win $15 iTunes Gift Certificate

This Google street view stuff just shows how alert the FrontBurner Nation is. Really solid work, people. Keep posting those pics. You’ve got till Monday. I thought I’d share one of my favorites, from CDD. This is exactly what I’m talking about. You see this picture, and it makes you want to write a short story about the woman. There she stands, in her old-school white quad skates and her fuchsia ensemble, staring at the sunrise (or sunset?) with her arms akimbo. What is she thinking? Has she been skating through that neighborhood for weeks, and did it just occur to her, in a flash, how barren and depressing the place looks? Or is she simply looking at that new house under construction with envy? (Seriously. I don’t think I’m going to get a lick of work done today.)

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Cherry Pit May Go Down, But It Will Go Down Swinging

The people behind the Cherry Pit aren’t giving up without a fight. They intend to sue to overturn Duncanville’s blatantly invasive new ordinance that makes it illegal to operate “Any premise, person or organization that is presented, advertised or provides notification to the public that it is a swinger’s club, an adult encounter group or center or that provides an opportunity or an invitation to engage in or view sexual activity, stimulation or gratification.”

As one blogger notes, the wording is so bad:

I would now like to announce that the Duncanville Police Station provides an opportunity to engage or view sexual activity and stimulation. According to statute I have now made the DPD station a sex club.

Leading Off

1. Wick told me I can’t call people names when I talk about the efforts to teach the made-up silliness of intelligent design as a complement to the scientific theory of evolution, so … uhhh … struggling here … s t r u g g l i n g …

2. Michael Davis’s take on yesterday’s special-use permit hearings for Deep Ellum clubs. The takeaway: Club One and Club Uropa have to look in the mirror.

3. Your weather update: Duck! Tuck! Slide!