The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Send Me Love, Summer Wishes

I’ve always enjoyed the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, in the same way I enjoy beauty pageants and shows about modeling. They’re pretty and have abs of steel and get to wear fringe. I went to see the Boys play a few weeks ago, and I confess I spent most of my time watching the girls rather than the game. I—along with several female coworkers—watch their show and emulate their rockin’ freestyle audition dance moves. (And, I swear, this was merely mocking the dolls, not the actual cheerleaders. Honest, girls!)

But now, I love the babes in blue even more, as I’ve somehow—quite inexplicably—gotten on their mailing list. And what do I get delivered today but a 2008 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Calendar—signed by every member of the squad. With personalized messages, too! “Cowboys cheers to Jessica!” says Jennifer. “Jessica—all my love!” says Christina. No matter that it’s still December, because it’s already 2008 in my cube. And I think it’s only a little weird that I went to high school with Miss January and now have her bikini-clad picture hanging up on my wall, wishing me a happy new year. (Hey Melissa!)

A few observances from the D staffers, each of whom have come by my cube to stare:

1. The calendar size is 15″x15″. The actual month grid, however, takes up about 3 inches in the bottom right hand corner, rendering it pretty useless.

2. The girls’ names don’t actually appear anywhere on the pages.

3. Andrea is totally giving me the come-hither look.

So thanks to the lovely and generous individual who sent me a copy, whoever you are. You’ve made me the most popular girl in the office.

Do Not Say “Lipo in a Box” Unless Connie Elder Says It’s Okay

Connie Elder is a Nashville-based businesswoman who runs Connie Elder International, sellers of ladies undergarments. Her products recently appeared on Oprah, which had no impact at all on demand for her goods. That previous sentence was meant to be sarcastic. The huge demand has inspired Elder to protect her trademarked brand of Shapewear “Lipo in a box.” All of that is well and good, unless you operate Dallas-based Herroom.com. If that’s the case, Elder will see you in court.

Dr. Phil, What Do You Want For Christmas?

“Now, listen, you don’t need a Mason jar to make a chipmunk dance. You don’t need a pound of ground round to win a duck calling contest. You don’t need a pair of hip waders to graduate from clown college. You don’t need a rocking chair to whittle a corn cob pipe. You don’t need a pair of stilts to drink a root beer. You don’t need a hug from a stranger to pull a quarter from behind my ear. You don’t need an hour glass to jump over a toadstool. You don’t need a sailor to teach a farmer phonics. You don’t need a hay bale to milk an ant. You don’t need a ‘77 Camaro to flunk out of law school. You don’t … wait, what was the question? Oh. A mustache comb and a subscription to Vibe.”

Whole Foods in Lakewood = 2009

So says Jeff Siegel at Back Talk. I live a quarter-mile from there, and to be honest, I can’t wait that long.

Mark Cuban Officially Has Street Cred

Click here for one of the strangest quotes you will ever find about Mark Cuban, and that’s saying something. But only do so if you can handle someone who works a little blue. I should probably note for, like, 87 percent of our readers that the someone in question (Lil’ Wayne) is a rapper. What’s that? Yes, like Will Smith. Exactly. [Thanks, Free Darko.]

Rowdy, What Do You Want For Christmas?

“What do you think I want, son? I want this crowd to make a little noise! WOOO! Come on! The ‘Boys need you, baby! WOOOOO! Let’s do this! Let me hear it! WOOOOO! Is that all you got? I said, let me hear it! WOOOOOOOO! All right, all right. Everyone on the left say, ‘GO!’ OK, now! Everybody on the right say, ‘COWBOYS!’ All right! That’s more like it! WOOOOOOOO! Yeaaaah! That’s what I’m talking about! WOOOOOOOOOO! Also, I’d like everyone to take a second and think about what’s going on in Darfur.” [dumps a bucket of popcorn through T.O.'s facemask]

DHome’s Blog Reawakens

I don’t know if the recent activity over that the DHome blog is the result of a stern talking to by a certain D-employed Web person, but I’m glad those typers are typing again. Good stuff over there, like Laura’s brilliant takedown of Brilliant, Christine’s charming mea culpa, Candy’s call-out of Who-Villes, and more.

Tom Hicks, What Do You Want for Christmas?

(First in a series.) “Torii Hunter. He’s exactly the kind of ballplayer my Texas Rangers need. What’s that? Signed with the Angels? Hmmm. Let’s see. Hold on a sec. [muffled phone conversation with GM Jon Daniels] Where was I? Right. I was telling you why we had no interest in Torii Hunter. Anyway, what I want for Christmas is a hybrid chupacabra/centaur to patrol the moat around my mansion. Oh, and a new pair of Dockers. Size 38. I like a little room in the seat.”

Re: Dallas Backdrop

And here’s a pic of the aforementioned Brad Oldham (right) with DCVB honchos Phillip Jones and Phyllis Hammond. Full disclosure: my wife, who is in NYC working on behalf of the CVB, took the shot.

Dallas Employment Index is at 102.8

Yay? Boo? Turns out it’s the latter. That number, a drop of about six points from the previous month, puts Dallas at the top of Hudson’s Employment Index. I’ll leave the astute analysis for astute analyzers. But I can quote from Hudson’s site and say, “An increase in financial concerns coupled with decreased hiring expectations drove this decline.”

Dallas Backdrop on GMA

Watchers of ABC’s Good Morning America (and readers of Unfair Park) know Dallas is one of three cities invited to design a backdrop for the show — along with New York and Chicago. Dallas Convention and Visitors Bureau (smartly) tapped Brad Oldham to do the design. Wanna see it? Okay (photo credit: Ida Mae Astute/ABC):

Dinosaur Media Writer Discovers Craigslist, Internet Allow Free Speech

A Denver Post business columnist has made a shocking discovery about Craigslist.

“The dirty little secret about the wildly popular site is that one click away from its home page are raunchy and offensive forums inviting blatant racism, rants and sexual kinks”

Oh, the pain. I’m sure this “teh Internets is scary” story has nothing to do with the fact that Craigslist has pretty much decimated the dead tree classified ad business. The writer even trots out Shari Julian, a professional witness and psychologist from the Mid-Cities to bemoan all this free speech on Craigslist’s forums.

When you have a venue for ventilating rage, your belief in that rage is ratified…It increases their belief that their behavior is acceptable. Their behavior is applauded, seconded. In that case, it’s scary. It does seem to roll and escalate.

Ah, for the good old days when speech could be controlled, people knew their place, and newspapers could overcharge for classified ads.

Plano Mall Gets Nipped, Tucked

As I ready to celebrate another birthday next week, the DMN brings news that makes me feel even older. Says here that Collin Creek, the mall of my youth, is getting a fancy makeover, including installation of this in the old Mervyn’s spot.

I still remember shopping at Art Explosion for “Madonna” bracelets, and underage smoking at the food court. Ahh, memories.

Re: Mystery Celebrity Celeb on D Mag Couch

Nice work, people. Quite a few of you figured out correctly that the napper was our favorite large-headed Irish newscaster, Brendan Higgins. Though my favorite comment yesterday came from Jeff Duffey, who delivered the deliciously inside line: “It’s Reid Slaughter and Merritt Patterson cuddling. Although Reid’s arm looks really pale in this picture.” Triple word score, Jeff. Mark it down.

To find out why Brendan was napping on my couch, stay tuned to FrontBurner in the next couple days. We have video.

Polyphonic Spree Adds Second Christmas Show

Thank Good Records, the Spree, and your lucky stars. Details after the jump.

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SMU’s Daily Campus Gives Us Props

An astute FrontBurnervian notes that SMU’s Daily Campus gave credit where credit was due: to us. This story notes that FrontBurner tracked the location of Gerald Ford’s private plane as it was headed northeast to gather Navy head coach Paul Johnson. Yay, us. And Thanks, Daily Campus. Johnson has not signed on as SMU’s new coach … yet.

Plano Girl Serves as Don Imus’ Sidekick

It’s true. Imus went back on the air Monday, after losing his job awhile back for saying really stupid things on the air. An alert FBvian draws our attention to the fact his sidekick, Karith Foster, hails from Plano, which she describes on her site has having the “ethnic diversity of a Klan rally.” But she’s black, so I guess she’s allowed to say that.

FreedomPark Free to Continue Parking at D/FW

As a follow-up to yesterday’s post about D/FW’s valet parking restrictions, I pass along the following email from FreedomPark president Ken Kundmueller. In it, he says D/FW has retracted the decision to limit the company’s access to the one-hour parking area. So, um, congrats to those who made a stink about it.

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Leading Off

1. Interesting take on the partial success and continued challenge of increasing downtown residential development. Main and Akard streets exemplify the good and bad. Worth a read.

2. Good to know that the dangerous people who for the most part work hard and put money into their families are being arrested at a higher rate. Now if we could only arrest people just for speaking a different language, we’d be set.

3. A new Google blotter that plots Dallas crime? I didn’t think Tim Rogers’ productivity could possibly decrease. I was wrong.