Articles for December, 2007
New Editor For Dallas Observer
Word came yesterday that Mark Donald–former D Magazine senior editor, lawyer, part-time magistrate, and brother of Texas Sen. Florence Shapiro–will be the new head honcho at our favorite publication for old conspiracy theories and new massage parlors. Mark is ingrained in the community, intelligent, thoughtful (very thoughtful), measured (really measured), and an all-around fine guy. From what we hear, the Phoenix-based company interviewed a lot of candidates to replace departing editor Julie Lyons, and from our perspective they couldn’t have made a better choice. We wish Mark a great 2008. (Will they let you keep the magistrate gig?)
Curious Detail That Didn’t Make Kurt Eichenwald’s Story
By now perhaps you’ve read Kurt’s story in our January issue. It’s good stuff. But it’s not the whole story. Just as we were going to press, Kurt called with a detail we couldn’t squeeze into the print version. Jump for the tale:
Dallas Person Needs Your Support in New Yorker Cartoon Contest
FrontBurner interrupts its holiday hiatus to bring an important matter to your attention. Richard LeBlanc, of Dallas, is one of three finalists in the current New Yorker cartoon caption contest. He needs your vote to win. Good luck, Richard. We’re here for you.
Who Deserves Credit for “Yoko Romo” Moniker?
Not Big Bob Wilonsky, as stated by Ed Bark. From best I can tell, honors go to Jennifer Floyd Engel, ESPN talker and Star-Telegram columnist. On May 17, she wrote:
A smoking hot edition of Yoko Ono has landed in Cowboysland, if public opinion is any indication. Beware of this Carrie Underwood character. Younger, blonder and crooning about exacting revenge on cheating boyfriends as opposed to peace-love-dope, Underwood apparently is as dangerous as Yoko because — gasp — she is dating Tony Romo.
Yes, the Cowboys QB has a girlfriend, a good-looking (or so Mr. Hate informs me) and semi-famous girlfriend and, as a result, the local sports world as we know it is about to end. Can we please calm down with this Yoko-Romo talk for just a second?
IJS.
Is it Christmas yet?
D’s Managing Editor Deletes Voicemail
Eric Celeste has accidentally deleted all his voice mails. If you were trying to get some important information or a press release to him, you’ll want to call and leave a new message over the Christmas break. Enjoy.
Calling All CPAs
I know Tim has warned that FrontBurner’s likely to be lame today, but here’s a serious, hopefully-not-lame question for any bean-counting FrontBurnervians out there: After you’ve been besieged by all these Christmas cards saying a “donation has been made in your name” to the Home for Abused Sparrows or Third World Orphans or some such, who gets to enjoy the federal tax writeoff? The donor? Or shouldn’t it be you, since this wonderful present was allegedly given in your name? Such gifts seem increasingly popular.
Merry Christmas From Tony Romo’s Girlfriend and Her Ex-Husband
This is still so awesome. And by awesome, yes, of course I mean awful.
Merry Christmas from Your Favorite Dallas Liberty Mutual Office
The video was shot in Dallas. It got me in the mood. Hoping it does the same for you.
Source: T.O. Buying At Azure
Over on DallasDirt, Candy Evans has the lowdown on yesterday evening’s holiday bash at Azure, the high-end condo project on McKinnon Street. Speaking of Azure partygoer T.O.–as Candy does in her post–we accosted the talented Cowboy by the Azure-lobby elevator last night and asked whether he was there to buy. “I’m just lookin’,” he replied. However, a very clued-in source says there’s no doubt, Terrell is snapping up one of the building’s pricey units.
Find Your Brazilian Soccer Name
Here’s a fun little game to play after a couple of bloody Mary’s: type in your name and generate a Brazilian soccer jersey. Another round, Eric.
Warning: FrontBurner To Be Mostly Lame for Near Future
Today’s the last day of our deadline for the February “print product,” and Eric showed up this morning with bloody Marys for the staff. That explains why we’re not blogging hard today. Then, next week week, we’re off for the Christmas break. All of which is to say: we’ll understand if you don’t check in regularly.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Stay safe. Be happy.
Jessimo Spotted Less Than a Mile From the Office
An eagle-eyed FBvian sends word that Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo were spotted last night oh-so-close to D headquarters:
Jessica and Tony were spotted at Bob’s Steakhouse last night…
Surely someone out there was enjoying a lovely Bob’s steak last night. Reports please.
Parents: The New Paparazzi
Last night, I went to see my kid perform in his Christmas pageant. He’s finally made it to the age where he and his fellow classmates actually sing instead of 1) being terrified to even walk into the room, 2) getting completely distracted by the presence of their parents and 100 or so other people, or 3) crying uncontrollably. So, good times. Not good times? Many of the parents/grandparents attending said Christmas pageant. Here’s the deal: I know you want to see your kid staring at the floor while he and his friends whimper through “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.” We all do. It’s adorable. Really. But unless you are an amateur chemist and have come up with a secret formula that turns your body (and clothes) completely invisible, or you’ve spent the past two years in your laboratory perfecting the X-ray camera and, in the spirit of the season, you’ve decided to loan it to me, I’m going to have a hard time making that happen. You want a good view? Show up early. Like I did. Manners, people. Manners.
Friday Fun
Happy Friday, people. You in the holiday spirit yet? Too much holiday spirit? Either way, today’s Friday Fun is for you. A helpful FrontBurnervian passes along Jingle Bells, where the object is to, as the game says, “shoot all the lame Christmas stuff (but not Baby Jesus–he’s sacred).” See? The game helps you focus on the stuff that matters. Plus it’s fun. Merry Christmas, everybody who celebrates Christmas.
Leading Off
1. New homes in University Park may have to construct larger garages in an effort to keep cars off the streets. (I’m all in favor of this, as it really slows me down when I’m trying to cut through the Park Cities.) And remember, the homes with more than 8K square feet must have four spaces!
2. “So, I’m trying to take the new HOV lane on Central, but I’m in the opposite lane, and the sign comes up, and I’m not really paying attention, so by the time I get over, I’ve missed my exit. That’s a story, right?”
3. Pegasus News points out that Dallas-based GodTube.com has launched a virtual bible and a virtual prayer wall. Some of the wall’s categories include Lust, Love, and Loss. So, yes, Tony Romo could tag his prayer in all three categories. (RIM SHOT!)
Random Question
Hey Folks, what is that Hanukkah song they play at funerals?
Gratuitous Tush Shot on the Cover of the Observer, What Do You Want For Christmas?
“Well, obviously, another story that’s important enough to run on the cover of the paper, but not, you know, sexy enough to move any copies and not so serious that a little T&A, or at least a little A, won’t turn off the readers. So, like, maybe if the Observer decides to run a piece on that Cherry Pit place down in Duncanville but decides none of the swingers are attractive enough to entice the folks looking for something to thumb through while scarfing down a half-caf, triple-whipped latte. And OMG, you guys–they totally aren’t! Oh, and another copy of Buns of Steel.”
Celebrity Spotted
An out-and-about FrontBurnervian reports:
Elizabeth Mitchell, who plays “Juliet” on ABC’s Lost was at NorthPark shopping with a friend today!
I don’t watch the show, so I’ll leave it to those who do to discuss if Mitchell’s appearance at the mall was part of some wormhole plot-twist.
‘Gentlemen’s Lunch’ Lures Gentlemen to Dallas Country Club
The barn-sized sign on a big truck parked outside the Dallas Country Club announced that “Barry and Alan” wished everyone happy holidays. That would be beer magnate Barry Andrews and banker Alan White, who hosted their annual “Gentlemen’s Lunch” for the area’s movers and shakers at noon today. Jump for the high-powered details.
RuinRomo.com Tries To, Um, Ruin Tony Romo
How? It involves a mask of Jessica Simpson and … that’s about it. In other words: someone’s been reading my dream journal again.
Chuck Thompson’s Suggested Mix Tape
Back in June, I wrote of Smile When You’re Lying, a sardonic take on the travel industry in general and travel writing in particular. Its author is Chuck Thompson, also known as a former boss of mine when I worked at American Airlines Publishing on a start-up magazine for Travelocity. The book is out now and getting good reviews — from the NYT, no less. In it, Chuck had some not-so-nice things to say about Dallas, but Dallas shouldn’t take it too hard; Chuck had some not-so-nice things to say about nearly every place. Anyway, reason I post about it again is that I just checked a music blog I check every now and then called Largehearted Boy. One of its semi-regular features is to ask authors to compile a playlist of tunes for each chapter of his or her book. You no doubt know where this is headed: Yesterday, Largehearted Boy asked Chuck to do the honors. He did.
Big Restaurant News About Bob Sambol
On SideDish. We will not go quietly.
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