Dear Zac,

Stacey here. Since I share a cube wall with you, I have a vested interest in the (peaceful) success of your smoking cessation. I’ve willingly given you candy and gum and ignored the intensity exhibited in your requests for said items. I know I don’t have the appeal of a wall of puppies, but I would like to plead with you not to kick through our cube in pursuit of cigarettes. I don’t have any. And, in light of our discussion during our run to Whole Foods today (good times, right?) about our shared fondness for smoking, if I did, you’d need nunchuks to get me to share.
Best,

SLY