Least Shocking Line of the Day

I had to wait until the day was almost over, but I felt confident this one wouldn’t be topped. A woman named Tracy Mooring in Gun Barrel City was explaining to police officers what all went down during an altercation with another woman inside Gator’s Sports Bar and Grill around midnight on Saturday. Mooring was interrupted when that other woman, Laura Ward, who happens to be the mayor of Eustace, came out of the club and belted her. Here’s the not-at-all shocking part:

Alcohol played a role in the earlier argument between the two women inside the bar, according to police.

You think so, doctor?