[...] Anywhoo, yesterday, I interviewed an up-and-coming comedian named Jordan Carlos. He was born and raised in Dallas, went to Brown, and, at one time, played “Alan”, Stephan Colbert’s “black friend” on The Colbert Report. Unless you’ve been sleeping in the Trinity Forest with Jim Schutze, you know that I am truly-madly-deeply in love with Stephen Colbert. Each night, after his show, I have to take a handful of these to fall asleep. So Jordan and I get to yakking about Dallas and his education at Greenhill and his favorite haunts in Dallas (you’ll have to wait for the December issue of D for details) and, in the middle of the funny talk, I ask for, sorry, a report (silent t) on Colbert (ditto). FrontBurner Nation, a tiny love bubble has burst. Turns out, Mr. Colbert has, according to Jordan, “thin skin”. After Jordan was asked to write this for the Washington Post, Colbert called Jordan on his cell and demoted him to “black acquaintance” and, in all seriousness, never used Jordan on the show again. Last night, after I burned my brain out trying to watch the whole episode of Dancing With The Stars, I turned to Colbert for comfort. Nation, I, unlike Jimbo, couldn’t get it up. For the first time in weeks, I slept without my WristStrong bracelets. Today there is a hole in my heart. [...]