Thanks to all who took the time to type. The best of the lot:
Drunk Karaoke
Mad donkey chased us in the
dark. Whataburger
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Summer end yard work
Ouch! Damn! Wow, look at that welp
Just met Mr. Wasp
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Three kids, eight puppies
Hundred percent chance of poop
Smeller not feller
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Neighbor’s heart stops dead
Breaking up is hard to do
Big Love makes me laugh