FIG Finale

Where will you be tomorrow? We’ll (Sarah and I) be at one of our favorite sales of the season, FIG Finale (details below). The bi-annual sale only lasts two days and begins tomorrow at noon (or 10 A.M. for those with V.I.P tickets). Various retailers from Dallas, Austin, Oklahoma, Louisiana, and Mississippi will gather to offer 75% off of women’s and men’s clothing, accessories, and shoes. Find goods by Billy Reid, LFT, Merge, Elements, The Blue Jeans Bar, Lou Lou, Elaine Turner, Krimson & Klover and more. Get there early because the good stuff goes quickly. Oh, and don’t forget to bring plenty of cash, that’s all they accept. On your mark, get set, go.

Calling All Hot Dogs

A baseball-hating FrontBurnervian Foodie has a hankering for a great hot dog. I told him Angry Dog and Wild About Harry’s before drawing a blank. Ready, set, type.

Police Release Home Invader Sketch

Police have a composite sketch of a guy who has been home invading, stabbing, stealing and raping his way across the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Nineteen violent home invasions. He seems to like attacking women. So move to… um… I guess no where is safe. Unless you make it. Or you can call 911 and wait an hour or two. Your decision.

I Am Master Of All I Survey!

Come, feast in my honor! I have meats and cheeses for all those who kneel before me! TREMBLE before my stylish and daring combination of double-breasted Navy jacket and white pants! I protect those who come here, for I am Wick of The D Empire!

D Mag and S.I. Team up to Tackle Southlake

Our cover story this month is “Why You Should Hate Southlake,” penned by Tall Paul. It’s about Dragon football — and so much more. By coinky-dink, Sports Illustrated covers some of the same gridiron ground in its current issue (which I have to read). So the little town on the shores of Lake Grapevine is getting all the attention it can handle right now. It’ll be hard to miss if you go into just about any grocery store in Southlake. The image you see here is the result of the efforts of our distributor. Go, Dragons!

Anchorwoman Sunk

That didn’t take long. Anchorwoman has been canceled, effective immediately. Uncle Barky has the scoop.

Go [Insert Team Name Here]

A helpful FBvian offers this suggestion for my fantasy football team name:

“Cleverly Named Team”

It’s the front-runner (read: only suggestion) so far.

It reminded me of when D’s unofficial trivia team named themselves “And In Last Place” one night when they anticipated coming in, yep, last place. Unfortunately, the name proved prophetic. (But they rebounded.)

See? Blogs Can Do Journalism.

Not this item, of course. But a foodie FrontBurnervian notes that the discussion of blogs=journalism got some play in today’s LATimes. Seems a professor and op-ed writer didn’t give much credit to bloggers as journos. So this author found a number of examples where online investigators did some worthwhile digging. Among those examples: DallasFood.org for its look into the high-falutin claims of Noka chocolate last December.

Dallas Has Many TV Watchers

In more media news, Dallas inched up in the Nielsen ratings. We’re now 5th. Seems there’s a nationwide trend of markets in the south and the west placing higher, as one would expect with population figures in the Sunbelt climbing, too.

Congrats to a Bunch of People at DMN

Editor&Publisher has a rundown of the seven new department heads in the newsroom at Dallas’ daily. I don’t recognize any of the names, but that doesn’t mean anything. Eric, you got any intel?

Crescent Layoffs Begin

We may not know who among the rank and file are getting the ax at Crescent Real Estate Equities now that Morgan Stanley has taken over and is taking it private, but we do know some of the names of the c-suite denizens who are staying or leaving.

Inappropriate Yoga Guy

Two errors. That guy wasn’t me.

And I’m not nearly 40-something.

Shame on Barnes & Noble

The question that the bookstore at Preston-Royal needs to answer: why did you throw away 800 books (some of them children’s books) and pour detergent on them so they couldn’t be dug out of the dumpster and donated to those who’d read them? (Link props to Big Bob.)

The Art of the Close

(alternate title: Where I Was Last Night)

The Dallas-Fort Worth chapter of the Luxury Marketing Council holds events every so often, where marketers can network and hobnob and learn from one another, and though they’d long ago made a group decision never to plan an event in July or August–it’s difficult to talk luxury when you’re sweating through your undershirt–the Council hosted one last night. What’s more, it was supposedly the highest-attended event yet. I was moderating the panel discussion, but that wasn’t the reason for the big draw. People wanted to see the panel of experts and the topic they discussed: The Art of the Close.
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The ‘Inappropriate Yoga Guy’: Dallas edition

In my single days I wanted to join a yoga class, if only to hit on women. Glad I never did that, because what if I would have been caricatured and mocked and, well, turned into a YouTube clip that’s been viewed 1.8 million times since June? Or been the inspiration for a New York Times piece seeking out real-life Inappropriate Yoga Guys? The writer found somebody from Dallas, a “40-something man” “glomming” onto his female classmates until the director of Dallas Yoga Center pulls the man aside and says:

We don’t mingle the dating scene with yoga.

As rocker Clive Clemmons used to say in a Conan O’Brien bit: “In-a-pproprieht!”

Irony, Part III

Karen Hughes, speaking in Dallas: U.S. must remain open to the world.

U.S.: What world?

Define Irony, Part II

An Arlington city employee is on the horns for offering to make a teenager’s two traffic tickets “go away” for $400. And to think, had he told the teen’s family to make the check out to the court clerk’s office, it would have just been called deferred adjudication, which costs about the same.

TXU’s John Wilder Pulls a Fast One on His Board

So says Dennis Berman on the WSJ’s blog. If KKR’s subprime exposure doesn’t prevent it from closing the deal with TXU, Wilder stands to make about $300 million. To which we say: nice. The problem, Berman points out, is that Wilder began talks with KKR without notifying his board. They were in the dark for five to six weeks. That’s a big no-no.

Fantasy Football=Productivity First Down

It think it’s an amusing coincidence that I learned of these stats from the radio this morning, only to log on to my e-mail and receive Eric’s welcome to D’s fantasy football league (I’m accepting team name suggestions now). While it has been widely reported that I’m the most industrious D staffer, that could all change once football season begins in earnest. (Just kidding, Wick.) No one on the edit staff has volunteered yet to assume the productivity mantle. Curious.

More Bad News on the TCEQ Chair

Yesterday, we said the newly appointed Buddy Garcia was little more than an Alberto Gonzales to Governor Perry’s President Bush. Turns out he might be more of a Karl Rove. A law-practicing FBvian brings word from the latest issue of Texas Lawyer. Therein, a former attorney for the Texas Office of the Secretary of State says she was fired not because she spoke to the press, which may have been forbidden, but because her statements were a political embarrassment to Republicans. Specifically, two Republicans:

But Reyes alleges that she was fired because the statements attributed to her in the Post article — that a county prosecutor could go after someone who votes in a place where he doesn’t live — caused political embarrassment for defendants Roger Williams, then-secretary of state, and H.S. “Buddy” Garcia, then-deputy secretary of state.

Surely Garcia will rise above politics to clean Texas’ air.

The Finfrock Cough

I too am infected with the Frinfrock cough and throat. Same doc (Hi, Dr. Kirkam!), same inhaler, same nasty nagging hack. Basically, the wheezing weatherman and I are allergic to Dallas air. Funny, I never suffered like this when I lived in smoggy Los Angeles. Anybody have an insight to a pollution problem around here? I’m clueless. (And, to all the literals out there, kidding.) Open wide. (I don’t show my uvula to just anyone.)

David Finfrock Does Not Have a Vaginal Yeast Infection

Awhile back, we introduced the word “finfrock” to the Dallas lexicon, in response to Channel 5 hyping its weatherman’s seemingly minor mucous situation. Comes today, though, a column by Sunnyvale’s own Steve Blow about how Finfrock’s problem with his pipes has worsened — to the point where he’s being treated as if he’s got a vaginal yeast infection. Only the infection is in his throat. Truly shocking stuff.

The Numbers Behind The Rangers’ Victory

I’m no sabermatrician, but my good friend Evan Grant, the grumpy DMN baseball beat writer, has some stats muy interesante at the end of his report on the game that will certainly go into the Baseball Hall of Fame along with this. Way to go, Rangers. You put those nasty birds back in their batting cages.

Define Irony

It’s swell and all when you read a headline like “Police give banks tips to cut crime.” But then you think, wait a minute, how would they know?

Only Three Mo Hockey Husband Shopping Days

I write this with a heavy (and perverted) heart: on Saturday night, the lucky and beautiful biatch to the left willa become Mrs. Mike Modano. Ladies — and I use the term loosely — you can no longer afford to hold on to your if-he-just-gave-me-one-shot-I-know-I-could-make-him-the-happiest-man-in-hockey wishes hopes and dreams. Mike is officially off the hot rod market. I ran into him at Bob’s a couple of weeks ago, and he was so excited and ready to be married. After I stood up to leave, he hugged me gently and planted a sweet little parting kiss on my mouth. (I haven’t washed my face for weeks.) Goodbye, number nine. You’ll always be in our dreams. Even though I’m older than your mother. Next.