WINTRY MIXED DRINKS

Where is everybody? I just looked up and the halls are empty–just me and Tall Paul. I smell a MONKey. Bye.

SPREE DESIGNER SHOWCASE

For those of you planning on attending Spree Dallas this evening, you probably already know it has been rescheduled for tomorrow. If you don’t know about it, you should. The Holiday Spree will showcase designs and products made and sold by independent designers, most of which are local. You’ll find unique goods such as handcrafted jewelry by Sarah Briggs, vintage upholstered handbags by Cahoots, and rock-n-roll inspired leather goods by Deadbeat Leather all discounted for this event only.
I’ll be heading there to pick up some gifts myself, and of course to scout the local talent.

RE: LOCAL FIRM, HOME DEPOT, $100 BILLION

A high-financing FBvian says he thinks the deal would be impossible to pull off:

In order to facilitate one of these transactions, roughly $45-65 billion of the transactional price must be funded by senior commercial bank debt–with commercial banks being regulated by the FDIC and otherwise subject to Federal Reserve Bank requirements. Among such restrictions are limitations on the amount of debt that can be provided to one borrower relative to a bank’s capital base as well as maximum caps that limit loaned amounts within formula-specified “cash flow/interest cost” ratios.

Without the participation by foreign banks not having U.S. regulatory presences on a scale never before seriously contemplated, the entire wherewithal of the American commercial banking system would possibly be tapped out in the attempt to finance this transaction.

JIM SCHUTZE HANDS STEVE BLOW HIS LUNCH

You want a really good laugh? If you haven’t already, read Steve Blow’s column about mayoral hopeful Zac Crain. But that’s not the funny part. After you’ve read Blow, read Jim Schutze’s column from this week. It drips with so much sarcasm that it’s amazing the ink on the print version even sticks to the page. Genius.

ANOTHER COOL HAPPENING

A hip FrontBurnervian reminds us of another event where all the cool kids should be. It’s The Art Conspiracy at the infamous Longhorn Ballroom. Some awesome local musicians will play, among them Salim Nourallah, Peter Schmidt, Happy Bullets, and Fishboy. As you might guess by the name of it, there’s art, too. Dallas artists are filling up 150 empty canvases in 24 hours.

More Other charitable FrontBurnervians (Update: Art Conspiracy benefits La Reunion, an artist residency) will no doubt want to check the Wine Opener benefitting the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. And ’tis-the-season FrontBurnervians will want to go to SMU on Sunday night for carols and tree lightings. Okay, no more plugs.

RE: RUN FOR COVER

Thanks for mocking the wintry mix gods, Tim. I hope you’re happy.

LOCAL FIRM PREPARING TO BUY HOME DEPOT FOR $100 BILLION?

If so, it would be the largest buyout ever. The NYT is reporting that Fort Worth-based Texas Pacific Group (among others) is exploring the deal. Me, I like Lowe’s.

WHERE YOU SHOULD BE SATURDAY NIGHT

Short answer: Sons of Herman Hall, starting at 8:00 pm. Longer answer: At the Reunion Tower Revue, an event so cool you’ll wonder why it’s in Dallas. But then, the Reunion Tower Revue has to be in Dallas, because it is of Dallas. See, a bunch of local musicians (full disclosure: I know about a handful of them, and they’re all swell) have decided to pay homage to Dallas’ rich music history, which is richer than you might expect. Robert Wilonsky has been blogging about it, if you prefer a more detailed explanation. Otherwise, just trust me that a good time will be had by all.

TONY ROMO ECHO CHAMBER CONTINUES

A related FrontBurnervian–i.e., my dad–tells me the guys on ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption picked up on my “Tony should be dating Jessica Alba and/or Biel” bit on yesterday’s show. I’m not saying I was the first or only person to make such a suggestion. But it’d be funny if they got it from someone at the studio, especially since I mentioned PTI on Cold Pizza as part of the reason the Romo-Simpson rumor spread so quickly. Silly media.

SCHLEGAL-LACHEY DOUBLE PLAY

A helpful FrontBurnervian sends word of a new partnership. Nick Lachey has joined Dallas’ Schlegal Sports Group to be part owner of the Tacoma Rainiers, the farm team for the Seattle Mariners.

KEEPING YOUR LOCAL BLOGS STRAIGHT

The local proliferation of so-called “FrontBurner copy-cat blogs” has apparently confused the folks at Quick. If you take their survey at dallas.braunresearch.com, you’ll find the above questions, as one alert FBvian did (open image in new window if you can’t read it).

RE: MARK CUBAN AND BELO

A Belo-employed FBvian writes:

Another explanation for Belo’s stock gains, unfortunately, is the massive buyouts from September. (Correction: “Voluntary severances.”) The chart on the link you posted shows that the recent gains began shortly thereafter the buyouts were completed. Good stuff if you’re a Belo executive with the last name Decherd or Moroney. That’s gotta be worth a few thousand Gs in bonus money.

Sheesh. Not nearly as fun as my theory.

RE: RUN FOR COVER!

I rode a snowmobile to work this morning. Otherwise I wouldn’t have made it.

RE: HOLIDAY HAWK

Here is an update for my fellow OCD-inflicted FrontBurnerivan Birders. I hooked up with Birdchick, a blog in Minnesota filled with female birders also obsessing over the Holiday Hawk.Their guess is that the star of the commercial is an augur buzzard, the red-tailed hawk of Africa. I’ve seen countless augurs, why didn’t I recognize it. I’m digging deeper. Can’t seem to find my meds this morning.