WINTRY MIXED DRINKS

Where is everybody? I just looked up and the halls are empty–just me and Tall Paul. I smell a MONKey. Bye.

SPREE DESIGNER SHOWCASE

For those of you planning on attending Spree Dallas this evening, you probably already know it has been rescheduled for tomorrow. If you don’t know about it, you should. The Holiday Spree will showcase designs and products made and sold by independent designers, most of which are local. You’ll find unique goods such as handcrafted jewelry by Sarah Briggs, vintage upholstered handbags by Cahoots, and rock-n-roll inspired leather goods by Deadbeat Leather all discounted for this event only.
I’ll be heading there to pick up some gifts myself, and of course to scout the local talent.

RE: LOCAL FIRM, HOME DEPOT, $100 BILLION

A high-financing FBvian says he thinks the deal would be impossible to pull off:

In order to facilitate one of these transactions, roughly $45-65 billion of the transactional price must be funded by senior commercial bank debt–with commercial banks being regulated by the FDIC and otherwise subject to Federal Reserve Bank requirements. Among such restrictions are limitations on the amount of debt that can be provided to one borrower relative to a bank’s capital base as well as maximum caps that limit loaned amounts within formula-specified “cash flow/interest cost” ratios.

Without the participation by foreign banks not having U.S. regulatory presences on a scale never before seriously contemplated, the entire wherewithal of the American commercial banking system would possibly be tapped out in the attempt to finance this transaction.

JIM SCHUTZE HANDS STEVE BLOW HIS LUNCH

You want a really good laugh? If you haven’t already, read Steve Blow’s column about mayoral hopeful Zac Crain. But that’s not the funny part. After you’ve read Blow, read Jim Schutze’s column from this week. It drips with so much sarcasm that it’s amazing the ink on the print version even sticks to the page. Genius.

ANOTHER COOL HAPPENING

A hip FrontBurnervian reminds us of another event where all the cool kids should be. It’s The Art Conspiracy at the infamous Longhorn Ballroom. Some awesome local musicians will play, among them Salim Nourallah, Peter Schmidt, Happy Bullets, and Fishboy. As you might guess by the name of it, there’s art, too. Dallas artists are filling up 150 empty canvases in 24 hours.

More Other charitable FrontBurnervians (Update: Art Conspiracy benefits La Reunion, an artist residency) will no doubt want to check the Wine Opener benefitting the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. And ’tis-the-season FrontBurnervians will want to go to SMU on Sunday night for carols and tree lightings. Okay, no more plugs.

RE: RUN FOR COVER

Thanks for mocking the wintry mix gods, Tim. I hope you’re happy.

LOCAL FIRM PREPARING TO BUY HOME DEPOT FOR $100 BILLION?

If so, it would be the largest buyout ever. The NYT is reporting that Fort Worth-based Texas Pacific Group (among others) is exploring the deal. Me, I like Lowe’s.

WHERE YOU SHOULD BE SATURDAY NIGHT

Short answer: Sons of Herman Hall, starting at 8:00 pm. Longer answer: At the Reunion Tower Revue, an event so cool you’ll wonder why it’s in Dallas. But then, the Reunion Tower Revue has to be in Dallas, because it is of Dallas. See, a bunch of local musicians (full disclosure: I know about a handful of them, and they’re all swell) have decided to pay homage to Dallas’ rich music history, which is richer than you might expect. Robert Wilonsky has been blogging about it, if you prefer a more detailed explanation. Otherwise, just trust me that a good time will be had by all.

TONY ROMO ECHO CHAMBER CONTINUES

A related FrontBurnervian–i.e., my dad–tells me the guys on ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption picked up on my “Tony should be dating Jessica Alba and/or Biel” bit on yesterday’s show. I’m not saying I was the first or only person to make such a suggestion. But it’d be funny if they got it from someone at the studio, especially since I mentioned PTI on Cold Pizza as part of the reason the Romo-Simpson rumor spread so quickly. Silly media.

SCHLEGAL-LACHEY DOUBLE PLAY

A helpful FrontBurnervian sends word of a new partnership. Nick Lachey has joined Dallas’ Schlegal Sports Group to be part owner of the Tacoma Rainiers, the farm team for the Seattle Mariners.

KEEPING YOUR LOCAL BLOGS STRAIGHT

The local proliferation of so-called “FrontBurner copy-cat blogs” has apparently confused the folks at Quick. If you take their survey at dallas.braunresearch.com, you’ll find the above questions, as one alert FBvian did (open image in new window if you can’t read it).

RE: MARK CUBAN AND BELO

A Belo-employed FBvian writes:

Another explanation for Belo’s stock gains, unfortunately, is the massive buyouts from September. (Correction: “Voluntary severances.”) The chart on the link you posted shows that the recent gains began shortly thereafter the buyouts were completed. Good stuff if you’re a Belo executive with the last name Decherd or Moroney. That’s gotta be worth a few thousand Gs in bonus money.

Sheesh. Not nearly as fun as my theory.

RE: RUN FOR COVER!

I rode a snowmobile to work this morning. Otherwise I wouldn’t have made it.

RE: HOLIDAY HAWK

Here is an update for my fellow OCD-inflicted FrontBurnerivan Birders. I hooked up with Birdchick, a blog in Minnesota filled with female birders also obsessing over the Holiday Hawk.Their guess is that the star of the commercial is an augur buzzard, the red-tailed hawk of Africa. I’ve seen countless augurs, why didn’t I recognize it. I’m digging deeper. Can’t seem to find my meds this morning.

RUN FOR COVER!

If someone reads this message, please tell my wife and children that I love them. The wintry mix is nigh upon us! Surely if I’m fortunate enough to wake on the morrow, the byways of this fair city shall be so covered with the frozen ice cold water stuff that I shant be able to venture out. I fear I’ve not procured enough potable water nor foodstuffs to survive the chill. This may very well be my last blog post. Pray for me.

ANOTHER SALE

It’s that time of year and I feel it’s my duty to report the best sales happening in Dallas. So, here is another one happening right now.
Stanley Korshak is having a men’s clothing sale. Get 30% off of suits, sport coats, and pants from designers such as Brioni, Oxxford, Ralph Lauren, and Armani Collezioni. Head over to The Shak for more savings on Etro and Valentino.
By the way, don’t miss our January issue (not out until the end of December), which will tell you about the best of the best sales happening in the new year.

RE: LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

I had lunch today with a real estate tycoon who told me that there were “four times as many residential foreclosures in Dallas this year than last.” She attributed climbing adjustable mortgages held by two-income couples, many of whom could not only carry the payment but were also divorcing. But I’d like to ask the nice lady who wrote Adam how she managed to get a $1,300 electric bill on a 2,000 square foot house. Did she close her doors when the AC was on? I had a poorly insulated 2,000 square foot house with 50-year old windows and even with my unit on most of the time, my bill never approached a third of that. IJS.

RE: THE HOLIDAY HAWK

I sent the Holiday Hawk link to my buddy Rel over at Wild Birds Unlimited on Lovers. Rel is a master at identifying birds and fixing feeders. Here’s his take:

We looked at the video and determined it is a hawk. I do not think however that it is a native. The facial pattern and very short tail don’t match anything in the North American guides.

Hmm. Stumped Rel? Off to the Internet I go. Don’t you love birding? [Down, Timmy] Just one of those great puzzles of nature. Anybody seen goldfinches yet? WTF!

IS MARK CUBAN THINKING ABOUT BUYING BELO?

On his blog, Cuban has a post titled “The Google Brilliance applied to Newspapers and Local Media.” He’s noodling on the value of old-school newspapers–a value that he says those very newspapers are missing. And Wick told me yesterday that “some business guy” told him there were some murmurs about Belo possibly being bought, which this “business guy” said explained Belo’s recent modest gain on the stock market. How’s that for solid, sourced-up, hardcore analysis with multiple sources? You heard it here first.

RE: WICK

Jim, a FBvian with some time on his hands sends along an image of Wick for you. I’m sure our art department has better images on file, ones where the bow tie is actually spinning. Again, just let us know.

LETTERS TO OTHER EDITORS

Been a while, hasn’t it? But here’s another letter written by an area magazine reader. This time, the magazine is Business 2.0, and the letter is about a November feature on “The New Rules of Real Estate”:

I know exactly why foreclosures are sky-high in the Dallas-Fort Worth area: We don’t have state income taxes, which means property taxes are really high and homeowners don’t get state mortgage deductions on April 15. I just bought a 2,000-square-foot home in North Dallas for $170,000. The property taxes alone are almost $7,000. On top of that, I just paid a $1,300 electricity bill for the summer. The cost of living around here is unreal, so I can see how local homeowners are struggling in a soft market.

Lynn Schmollinger
North Dallas, TX

Excellent points, Lynn. That electricity bill sounds like a doozy.

WICK’S GOOD SIDE

Hey, Jim, just let us know if, for your column, you need a photo of Wick grinning with his bow tie in flames.

HOW TO GET THE NEW RECYCLING BLUE BIN

I’d heard about the new alley bins and was looking forward to getting mine. Then an alert FBvian told me this morning that the bin doesn’t just show up; you have to register for it. If you live in Dallas, here’s how to get yours. No thanks necessary. Just here to help.

RICHARD COLLINS IS NO FAN OF HILLARY CLINTON

A politically aware FrontBurnervian points out today’s NYT story about Richard Collins. The wealthy businessman from Dallas is the principal figure behind an anti-Hillary site called Stop Her Now. The NYT story notes Collins is also a major contributor to Rudy Giuliani.

LAURA HAS A SECRET LOVER

And it’s not the Holiday Hawk, it’s a real person. She just received a gianormous arrangement of flowers from Park Cities Petals with a note signed “from your secret lover.” I’ve called the florist to make sure they were actually for Laura—I mean they could have gotten her confused with me—but they haven’t called back. Developing. Meanwhile, Holiday Hawk fans are flooding my inbox with other performances of the Holiday Hawk. I just love it.