RE: URBAN ASSAULT

From where I sit, it looks like he has two little blue ones. I always wondered about his heritage.

EATING THE KFC BOWL CAUSES BRAIN DAMAGE

So, Rod, Jessica, Laura, Elizabeth, and I just waited 10 very long minutes in the drive-through at KFC on Lemmon. We ordered a Famous Bowl. I asked the girl at the cash register how many they sell. She said, “Lots.” I pushed. “Like how many?” She broke loose, “We sell lots. Everybody orders them.” Obviously, her brain has left her body. Here’s the deal: a wad of instant mashed potatoes sits in a plastic flat-bottomed container. So, technically it is not a bowl at all. Reconstituted brown “gravy” is troweled across the potatoes before a handful of canned corn is tossed in for color. Next up: six or seven clumps of soggy “chicken” (probably bound with sawdust) are piled on and the whole mess is covered with melted cheese. It looks nothing like the picture on the KFC website. Although it does remind me of a picture of something I threw up after too much Boone’s Farm in 1970. It tastes even worse. Yes, FB Foodies, I took one bite for the team. BUT, I didn’t swallow. I even tried to make it look better by styling it with daisies. If you eat this, I have no use for you. Photo by Elizabeth Lavin

RE: THE COLONEL

A media-type FBvian who has to just report the facts wants to share some comments on The Bowl:

“Commissioner Price once fought the good fight against alcohol sales in lower-income and minority parts of the city. How about these dietary toxins?”

Rod: You hit the nail on the head. Thank you for speaking up about this. It is almost taboo these days to bash the way people eat, and I am sick of it. It’s about time we start holding each other accountable for the flab, not to mention the health problems. I’ve often wondered about the socioeconomics of diet, and recently saw a study stating that most kids in low income families are overweight. Interesting, because in developing nations, the poor are too thin. It’s a shame that eating healthy foods seems to be out of the reach of most low income homes, when it really should not. We would be well served to take the fast food places to task about just where they advertise and to whom, just like we did with the cigarette types.

Ahhhhh, thank you for letting me get that out. As a news anchor, I am not allowed an opinion. This is like therapy.

RE: THE COLONEL

Nancy, I got your back. Which I can still easily see since you’re not inclined to eat that noxious bowl of fried salt, trans-fat, sugar and assorted chemical flavorings. It’s bad enough that America is addicted to junk food, and that 66 percent of us are overweight, half of that number obese. We have fast food corporations feeding the junkies and pretending it’s just “tasty.” And marketing especially to young people and lower-income areas. Screw that. It’s killing you faster than high gas prices are emptying your wallet. Commissioner Price once fought the good fight against alcohol sales in lower-income and minority parts of the city. How about these dietary toxins?

THE COLONEL IS THE DEVIL HIDING IN A PLASTIC BOWL

A FrontBurnervian Foodie with a bod for eating right and a brain for calculating empty calories, picks the wrong day to draw my attention to this atrocity to taste. I’m sorry—no, I’m not—but this is toxic stuff. Yes, I am a food snob and I am high-and-mighty about the fact that I do not waste calories on junk food. Any. Ever. (Well, maybe a Coke now and then.) But KFC’s bowl of crap has pushed me to distraction.You want this in your body? You are a loser. And that includes everyone, except Rod, working in this office. They are all headed to KFC right now. By sundown, their jeans won’t fit. But my genes never have. I’m going to jump.