THE KINKY REPORT

This morning, Kinky Friedman spoke at Richland College. The occasion was the school’s annual literary festival. A FBvian was in the house and sends the following report:

Kinky Friedman came to Richland today. And it’s the only reason (besides some still uncompleted but due-today BR-11 budget forms) that I came to work today. I work at Richland, and this morning at 9:05 AM, Kinky was the first scheduled author to kick off the Richland College 2006 Literary Festival.

Because my office is about 100 yards from the performance hall, I was all but guaranteed a front row seat. Even better, I had the blessing of my boss and permission to attend the session while “on the clock” so I wasn’t about to miss this opportunity to see one of my favorite writers live and in-person. Those annoying budget forms could wait ’til the afternoon.

I don’t like to say I am a fan of Kinky Friedman, because nowdays the word “fan” is usually attached to some other word like “rabid” or “overzealous” or “obsessive,” which I am not. I will say the guy makes me laugh, and sometimes makes me think, so that makes him special to me. Over the years I have listen to Kinky’s music, read his mystery novels and magazine columns, followed the progress of the Utopia Rescue Ranch, and most recently watched with a skeptical eye his campaign for the Texas governorship. But since I don’t like the word “fan,” and the word “admirer” seems too weird, I would like instead to be classified as a “fond observer” of the Kinkster.

As a fond observer, I have had mixed feelings about Kinky’s recent bid to become the next Governor of Texas. Was this for real? Was he being serious? Like other folks, I’d seen his soundbites on the local news, and watched his interview on 60 Minutes. I laughed when I saw the clip of him, standing in front of the Governor’s Mansion in Austin. He was signing autographs with a sharpie in one hand and his cigar in the other, proclaiming, “I’ll sign anything but bad legislation.” But I still couldn’t tell for sure if this was an act or if this was for real.

That unsure feeling still lingered as I sat with less than 100 other people, in an audience whose make-up was a mix of fellow fond observers like myself, plus youthful college students earning extra-credit points, and other assorted college administrator/professor types. From what I could tell, it was an unscripted and off-the-cuff type talk. I say that because out in the lobby, before the event started, students were being told that Kinky was not here to talk politics, but was instead only here as an author to speak at the Literary Festival. So of course, right after an instructor’s opening introduction and the obligatory “Thank you very much” bit with Little Jewford, Kinky begins his talk by saying he wants to change the world, one governor at a time. He then proceeded to open the floor to take questions from the audience, and talk about politics for the next forty minutes.

None of the questions were earth-shaking and Kinky did not reveal any great political truths or as-yet-unheard insights to the world of Texas politics. But after this morning, after listening to Kinky talk from my front row seat, I can confidently say that I now know for sure — the man is 100% serious.

He is not kidding, this is not a joke. He really wants to be the next Governor of the state of Texas, and is willing to endure the doubts and the head-shaking of fond observers like myself, and the endless jokes and ridicule from those who have never liked him anyway.

And so Kinky has now moved up several notches in my mind, and has gone from being one of my favorite authors to becoming one of my all-time heros. I have incredible admiration for those people who are not only willing to stand up and say how screwed up the state of Texas has become, but are willing to risk their careers and reputation to do so. Kinky is doing that very thing, and making me laugh instead of cry while he’s doing it. So he’s got my vote, and my true appreciation. Thank you, Kinky. Thank you very much.