THE OBSERVER’S NEW OWNER WILL LIKELY BE ITS OLD OWNER

A Village Voice shareholder privy to the negotiations between Village Voice and New Times, parent company of our own dearly beloved if sometimes utterly boring Dallas Observer, tells me that the deal will go through. However, he told me his hope is that the Phoenix-based New Times management will end up in control. Once again, he’s on the Village Voice side, but his assessment is:

“The Village Voice people in New York are complete idiots. New Times knows what it is doing. We need them more than they need us.”

I’ve seen what New York types can do to local publications–American Express ran D Magazine into the ground, don’t forget–so I understand where he’s coming from.

THE BISHOP AND THE DA

The grand jury no-billed the Diocese of Dallas, and as one who called for the DA to investigate I have two reactions: the first is appreciation for the DA’s willingness to plunge into murky seas to make sure Dallas children are no longer being exploited, and the second is relief that there’s no visible dirt hidden under the carpet. I think it’s time for me and other Catholic critics of the Diocese to give the Bishop and Chancellor Mary Edlund credit for facing up to reality and taking action where it’s needed. While I’ll keep my fingers crossed that we’ve finally seen the end, the history of this Bishop’s reign is that every 8 to 10 months something blows up somewhere. The defense attorney for child porn devotee Rev. Matt Bagert didn’t exactly lift my confidence when he said:

“There’s just a lot of rot,” he said. “I don’t know if there’s anyone interested, outside the Catholic faithful, in cleaning it up.”

That’s from a defense attorney, mind you. So we’ll keep watching…and praying.

STATE INVESTIGATIVE COMMITTEE TO PROBE DALLAS CORRUPTION?

According to Jim Schutze, Rep. Terry Keel of Austin (the first Republican sheriff in Tarrant County since Reconstruction) is asking the Speaker for authority to open a full investigation of Dallas City Hall. Schutze is right: we can thank Elaine Agather, chairman of Chase Bank Dallas and chair of the Dallas Citizens Council, and other big-time business opponents of the strong-mayor proposition for helping Dallas maintain a system that invites corruption to flower. When there’s no accountability, there’s plenty of opportunity. Like George Washington Plunkitt of Tammany Hall fame, several City Council members seem to have “seen their opportunities and taken them.” And they have the Dallas Citizens Council to thank for keeping a system that allows them to do it.

JESSICA SIMPSON = “SINGING STRIPPER”

That’s what the leader of a Christian group called “The Resistance” says in the NYPost in reaction to her “Boots Are Made for Walking” video. He also calls her a “whore.” Oops. I just read it again. He says, “It’s sad to see her whore herself out like this.” I agree completely, as long as you change “sad” to “hot.”

RE: KENNY ROGERS

Sorry. Channel 8 had the story 40 minutes ago.

THE KENNY ROGERS IMPLOSION

First he attacked a water cooler. Now he’s after human prey. An alert FrontBurnervian tells us:

Kenny Rogers went strong mayor on a couple of photographers on the field of Ameriquest Field. Charges to be filed. Developing.

MY NEW HOMEPAGE

A co-worker sent me Nick and Jessica Breakup Watch. I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I love having all Jessica-related gossip on one, well-designed web site. On the other hand, Nick and Jessica Breakup Watch cuts my reasons to blog in half.

GOODBYE TO SHELBY FOOTE

At the World Affairs Council’s luncheon on Monday, David McCullough decried history textbooks that substitute compilations of facts for a strong narrative. He quoted Barbara Tuchman’s two-word advice for historians: “Tell stories.”

Nobody told stories better than Shelby Foote. Civil War historians quibble over the details of some of his accounts, but in my view, he’s established a place, not only with Francis Parkman and a few others who wrote American history, but maybe even with Edward Gibbon.

EBAY ITEM OF THE DAY

Trolling eBay for pope beanies, I came across this item. It’s a barn built in 1685, in Aldingbourne, Sussex, England. It was dismantled and shipped to the United States in 1985 and now sits in covered storage someplace in Fort Worth. We’re talking 320-year-old massive oak beams, folks. They don’t make ‘em like that anymore. Buy-it-now price: $134,000. (P.S. I want a personal thank-you note from the News writer who does the barn story for the paper.)

RE: HOUSE PASSES EDUCATION BILL

An education-reporting FrontBurnervian adds her two cents:

The education bill, in a word, is bad. but it won’t matter. Word “on the street” is that the House and Senate are quite displeased that the governor vetoed what they did and are unhappy about being called back into special session. Some fear that the House/Senate will just pass something, anything, through to get this over with and to avoid voter wrath come this fall when schools will be unfunded (or next year, when the lack of school finance reform will really set in for districts around the state have to cut everything non-necessary). A prominent analyst called this “one of the most frustrating legislative sessions he’s been involved with.”

RE: FINISHING STRONG

The answer has to be Brian. I have now posted infinitely more times than Wick has today.

Also, I hear Wick’s out looking for another job. IJS.

RE: HOUSE PASSES EDUCATION BILL

Well, for starters, Arlington’s Kent Grusendorf sure likes it. Of the bill, he told lawmakers, “When those of you who vote for this bill look back, you will know it was one of the best votes you made during your entire legislative career.” Unfortunately, this is how the Quorum Report described it: “What HB 2 appeared to suffer from yesterday, unfortunately, was a bad case of the runs.”
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FINISHING STRONG

Honestly, I can’t decide whose posts I’ve enjoyed the most today. Wick’s or Brian’s?

RE: BIBLICAL ARTS FIRE

Dogpile on Sarah:
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HOUSE PASSES EDUCATION BILL

There’s a bunch of information in this story about teachers’ raises, lower property taxes, fancy computers. But there’s also news about the resilience of Robin Hood. It’s too confusing. Brian, can you please educate us about the education bill? Is it good?

SAN ANTONIO 1, DALLAS 0

Washington Mutual picked San Antonio over Dallas for its new regional operations center.

Boo.

RE: BIBLICAL ARTS FIRE

Was the art “priceless,” or was it simply “irreplaceable”? Channel 11’s Sarah Dodd was the one who called it the former. She defends her word choice:
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RE: BIBLICAL ARTS FIRE

Good stuff, all from God-fearing FrontBurnervians:

Everything has a price; even the Mona Lisa. “Irreplaceable” is not synonymous with “priceless.” Maybe the collection was valued at $10 million for insurance purposes.

Which brings us to:

Channel 8’s Brad Hawkins reported at 6 p.m. yesterday that the Biblical Arts Center was built before codes requiring fire-supression sprinklers were in place. Now, why they didn’t go ahead and install them anyway or at a later date is another question.

Right. Especially if you had irreplaceable art in there. Seems a sprinkler system might have been worth the investment. Because where are you going to get another really huge painting of Stanley Marcus in a toga? To wit:

I had to laugh, too, at the grasping parochialism of the poor museum director talking about what a treasure Dallas has lost with the destruction of that football-field canvas. “It had Dr. Criswell, Ray Nasher, and Stanley Marcus in it!” he wailed. One hates to smirk, but–no, one doesn’t hate to smirk, but one just does it discreetly.

RE: BIBLICAL ARTS FIRE

As long as we’re answering questions this morning, I’ve got two about the fire yesterday:

1) Why, on Channel 11 last night, did they twice refer to the art collection as “priceless,” when Tracy Rowlett clearly said it was valued at $10 million?

2) Did the place not have a sprinkler system? Because I’m thinking about a place like the DMA. I bet you let loose with a hot fart in that place, and a super-sensitive sensor is going to catch it and turn on the sprinkler system. Right? So how does an entire museum with “priceless” art burn down?

RE: PITY JOHN WOODBURY’S WIFE

Sorry. I’m still fixated on that story. I was just rereading the headline, and I got an idea for one of those seemingly clever bumperstickers. You know, the ones with an occupation and then an insinuation about the love-making techniques of people who have that occupation. Alright. Here’s mine:

Garage Diggers Do It With Big Hoes.

(Note: I am not implying anything about the subject of the bulldozer story, nor his wife. I happen to like them both. Even though I don’t know them.)

SHAWN BRADLEY, YOU WILL BE MISSED

Patrick Hruby over at ESPN.com bids adieu to “the league’s ultimate foil, a world-class dunk enabler.”

RE: DON HILL’S FANCY BMW

This is the brilliance of FrontBurner. Today we shine. For we have an explanation for Don Hill’s missing gas-cap door. A law-practicing FBvian tells us:

I met with a client this morning who owns several gas stations in North Texas. He has several gas-cap doors in his office, used as evidence in trying to catch the folks who either deliberately or accidently drive off with the gas hose still in their car. If they back away, those doors snap right off.

Mr. Hill, did we have a boo-boo?

PITY JOHN WOODBURY’S WIFE

Today’s DMN Metro section features this story about John Woodbury, bulldozer driver. The story is full of awesomeness, including the parts about the family business, Gunsmoke reruns, and the fact that Woodbury “gets jounced around the cab of a huge dozer, something so large and powerful he probably couldn’t have envisioned it in his youth” (emphasis mine). But I especially love this quote and the set-up for it:

“If you’re not interested in what you’re doing, you might as well forget it,” he said. Mr. Woodbury, who wears a graying moustache, said he’s totally at ease in a dozer cab. “To me, it’s like I’m at home with my wife.”

Oh, and I don’t want to ruin the ending. Okay, I’ll ruin the ending:

The hole awaits his return.

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

Four months ago, Fox 4’s Paul Adrian broke the story about James Fantroy’s–ahem–suspicious dealings with Paul Quinn College. I wouldn’t want to say he stole money, because I’m a white guy, and if I said that, then clearly I’d be a racist who was trying to oust all the black leaders from City Hall. Anyway, my point is, it took the DMN four months to get around to the story. But, to their credit, they didn’t leave out anything that Adrian had dug up.

KELLY CLARKSON’S EX-BOYFRIEND DRANK ALL THE FINEST COFFEES

And now the dude’s married. Clarkson isn’t. And she won’t date you unless she thinks you two can tie the knot.