RE: NEW FAVORITE

Timmy, you forgot to mention the crappie service.

RE: WILL EMMIS GO PRIVATE?

Now we know where Evan Smith came up with the money to pay Brian’s salary.

WILL EMMIS GO PRIVATE?

Here’s the report on Texas Monthly’s owner, which has announced it is selling its television properties, from radioandrecords.com:

That’s one scenario Merrill Lynch analyst Laraine Mancini suggests could occur after Emmis sells off its television business, which she projects could fetch as much as $1.1 billion. “We believe Emmis will be in a financial position to complete a leveraged buyout after completing the TV sales,” she says in a report issued today. But Mancini also notes the company could also use the TV assets to bolster its radio holdings.

MY NEW FAVORITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD

I just discovered the Fishing Report, by J.P. Greeson and Luke Clayton, in the DMN. I assume they do this weekly. Fantastic. For those headed out to Lake Granbury, here is the report from Messrs. Greeson and Clayton:

Water stained. Black bass good. Striped bass slow. White bass good. Crappie fair. Catfish good.

Nancy, you could learn something from these guys. For instance, I’ve boiled down your very wordy review of Nana, under new executive chef Bombaci:

Bulgarian yogurt good. Day boat scallops good. Venison loin fair. Gelled foi gras bad.

DALLAS STATE SENATORS IN THE HOT SPOT

The school finance bill passed by the House on Tuesday set a 35 percent limit on local taxes that can be recaptured by the state (Highland Park currently sends 70 percent of its tax money out of district.) The Senate today passed a version which, once again, does not include this provision. John Carona represents HP, Dallas, and parts of Richardson, all of which are hit hard by recapture. Florence Shapiro–who is the school finance doyen of the Senate–represents Plano, which is in a fix just as bad as HP. When the bill goes to conference, these two Dallas-area senators could make all the difference. Shapiro’s phone number is 512-463-0108. Carona’s is 512-463-0116. They’ve both weasled before, and they’re weasling again. Meanwhile, their constituents are getting gouged.

FORT WORTH AMONG NATION’S FASTEST GROWING CITIES

Dallas is not.

RE: NASTY LIBERALS OR GOOD REPUBLICANS

Several FrontBurnervians have responded with the same message:

Two words. Think Kinky.

RE: IL MULINO ILL?

A TABC-access-having FrontBurnervian has some less-than-encouraging data about Il Mulino:

Il Mulino liquor sales (per TABC data)
March: -61.3% vs YAG
April: -45.7% vs YAG

To compare:

Nick & Sam’s TABC liquor sales…
March: +13.3% vs YAG
April: +21.6% vs YAG

Medici…
March: +183.5%
April: +195.8%

Data from the month of May won’t be ready for a couple more weeks. And I know Tim and his wife ate there. Tim drinks a lot. So maybe the figures will turn a corner.

RE: INCONCEIVABLE

A pilot-suggesting FrontBurnervian has a suggestion:

Not quite Cop Rock, but a group of Police Officers and Firemen join together to form a band called “Guns-n-Hoses” in a quest to become rock stars.

I realize now, though, what makes Inconceivable so awful is that it makes an knee-slapping pun about something terribly traumatic. With that in mind, I now offer these:

Terminal Illness, a sitcom about gate agents at DFW whose jobs make them go cah-razy. (Just think of all of the physical comedy those luggage conveyor belts can provide.)

Charred Livin’, a one-hour drama about the burn unit of a county hospital.

Pet O’File. Animal Planet. Story writes itself.

RE: ANGIE HARMON

Inconceivable. Really. So, since TV execs are apparently such suckers for TV shows based on awful puns, Tim challenged me to come up with similar titles for a couple of other occupations.

Cobblers. Call it Well-Heeled. A rich twentysomething, due to inherit millions, wants to leave his wealthy surroundings to become a cobbler, like his Uncle Giuseppe in Italy. He wants to work with the people, don’t you see?

Plumbers. Pipe Dreams? Too easy. When It Drains, It Pours. Blue-collar patriarch struggles to pay the bills, raise his kids, and put up with all of the neighbors who constantly call him to unclog their drains. I smell Emmy.

RE: KARMA

Here’s my favorite picture from Eric’s blog. Caption: “Hmm, I KNOW that pink hat is around here someplace.”

ANGIE HARMON KNOWS HOW TO MAKE BABIES

The fertile actress is returning to TV to play a “maverick fertility doctor with a checkered past” on an NBC show called Inconceivable.

Wow. That’s just… Wow. That show sounds just terrible. But good luck, Angie.

RE: KARMA

A resourceful FrontBurnervian points out that Eric, Mr. Gia himself, has his own blog. Reading his blog and Gia’s side by side is nifty. You can see how they both react to the same events, for instance The Hammock.
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STOP THE PORTERHOUSES!

A few days ago the deal to put a Del Frisco’s in the old Star Canyon space at Oak Lawn and Cedar Springs was all but done. Today the deal died. Terminated. Over.

IL MULINO ILL?

A couple of little weasels with an agenda are spreading rumors that Il Mulino is about to toss in the tortellini. “Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Absolutely not,” said the eloquent owner Phil Romano a few seconds ago. And the lawsuit against DMN dining critic Dotty Griffth? “Still negotiating.” Then he told me a really dirty joke. A really dirty joke. Really dirty.

RE: KARMA

I’m not making this up. It’s there, on May 27, if you don’t believe me.

Well today Gia and I are tying the knot….in my Vas Diferens.

Best. Line. Ever.

RE: KARMA

[working quickly, assuming Gia's site will be shut down soon] Here’s my second-favorite picture from Gia Wood’s blog. It’s Gia, of course. Caption: “Yes, Gia would.”

RE: KARMA

Two possible captions for that photo:

1. “Hmm. I wonder where I put my pink hat.”

2. “Shh. Don’t talk, baby. I know you love me. Now show me.”

RE: KARMA

This is my favorite picture from Gia’s blog. She’s a lucky woman to have found this Eric.

ALAN PEPPARD: MATCHMAKER TO THE RICH

An alert FoF points us to this News > Metro > Diane Bell — Bride-to-be finds love in heart of Texas” href=”http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/bell/20050630-9999-7m30bell.html”>news that T. Boone Pickens is getting hitched (Evan Smith to Pickens: “Amazing“). The oilionaire is marrying Madeleine Paulson, who owns the Del Mar Country Club. Paulson credits Peppard for finding her a husband. For Peppard’s sake, I hope he works on commission.

KARMA, GIA

Stylist Gia Wood got married recently and she’s soooo in love with her man Eric. She says so, often and in interesting ways on her blog. Their wedding was apparently divine, and it just might be included in an upcoming issue of our sister publication D Wedding Book. How do I know this? Because Gia says so:

Oh my god…I almost forgot!!!!! I’m going to be in D Magazine’s Wedding Book!! TE HE TE HE!! They will be using one of our wedding photos for their magazine. Ah the life I have! So when you read it, don’t get mad and throw darts at my face. Read, learn, and go from there. Maybe one day you might meet someone who will marry you in the blink of a eye. But then again, they need to be madly in love with you!!!!

But you need to hear the flip side.
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NASTY LIBERALS OR GOOD REPUBLICANS?

One of the benefits of being a Republican donor is that I receive every fund solicitation that runs off the printing press. Yesterday it came from the Rick Perry campaign, with these opening sentences:

When all else fails, they attack. And since the liberal Democrats have done nothing but miserably fail in the last ten years, they have resorted to a non-stop campaign of attacks…questioning GOP leaders’ intelligence, values and sincerity.

Funny. Maybe liberal Democrats attack Rick Perry all the time, but I wouldn’t notice and I don’t know many Texans who would. The people who’ve been attacking Perry the hardest are Republicans like me who are fairly free in questioning his intelligence, values, and sincerity. Nothing yet tells me that we’re wrong on any of the three counts.

Kay Bailey, darlin’, that reminds me: I’m not happy with you.

MORE ON THE VILLAGE VOICE

Living up to my source’s assessment of its abilities, Village Voice’s management has problems at home that may make put a merger lower on its priority list–while putting it higher on its shareholders’ priority list.

THE OTHER DFW

As in David Foster Wallace. Granted, the Dallas connection is minimal (if not nonexistent), but his recent commencement at Kenyon is worth reading. And if Tim can do it, I should be able to, too.

WICK

Welcome back.