HWY 183 = NOT RUINED

The Highway 183 bridge over MacArthur Boulevard is not totally out of commission. Tony Hartzel is all over it. (But not “over it like a bridge” over it.)

WANTED: A NEW STATE LEGISLATURE

I would like to apologize to my 10-year-old son, whom I recently accused of being “The World’s Master at Finger-Pointing.” As of today, there are at least 350 people much worse than he.

The Texas State Legislature has failed so utterly and completely that it is unthinkable that any of them could be re-elected. Now of course, they are all returning to their districts saying exactly the same thing as Dan Branch: “I can’t tell you how angry I am,” said Rep. Dan Branch, R-Dallas. “My constituents were expecting school finance reform, property tax reform and Robin Hood reform – and we couldn’t deliver on any of it.” Okay, so what now? What do we do for the next two years? They were sent there to fix school finance, and they managed to pass 4,000 different bills but not school finance. Let the outrage pour forth.

BACK TO YOU, TIM

RE: SO MANY QUESTIONS

I said the story wasn’t online. It is now. Still no answers, though.

SO MANY QUESTIONS

A news item in the D-FW Regional Roundup of the paper (sadly, not online) is flat-out bizarre. I’ll type it in full, because that’s how much I care for you, and because Robert Tharp’s understated prose seems somehow fitting:

Police use Taser on man making suicidal threats
Dallas police used a Taser gun to subdue a man who was making suicidal threats near the Kennedy Memorial downtown Sunday. According to police reports, the man drove up to the memorial in a Rolls Royce and caught officers’ attention by threatening to harm himself with a Civil War-era sword. Officers disabled him with an electric jolt from the Taser gun and took him to Parkland Memorial Hospital for observation.

A Rolls? A sword? The Kennedy Memorial? Really?

JESSICA AND A DIRTY, DIRTY CAR

Us magazine has “exclusive photos” of Jessica Simpson washing a car in her bikini. If you want it, here it is, come and get it. (No need to hurry; I don’t think it’s going fast.) [Link via goldenfiddle.]

BEER BUST, FOR REALS, PART II

Hope your Memorial Day was a good’un. Friday seems like weeks ago, doesn’t it? Remember it? We had a party on the patio, with a couple of kegs, some guac, and good times. At left is another picture to prove it. That’s Tim doing a keg stand. What’s missing from the picture is Wick, who peered through his office window just as Tim was making his dismount. Wick looked at Tim with a delicious mixture of confusion, disappointment, and disgust. It. Was. Awesome.

SPEAKING OF SPORTS COLUMNISTS

Jonathon Edward “Skip” Bayless was spotted at Dallas National playing golf with buddy and fellow beefcake Larry North.

DMN GETS TEN NEW SPORTS COLUMNISTS

This piece was obviously devised so that the poor desk editors could take some time off yesterday but I read every word of it. Funny stuff.