HWY 183 = NOT RUINED

The Highway 183 bridge over MacArthur Boulevard is not totally out of commission. Tony Hartzel is all over it. (But not “over it like a bridge” over it.)

WANTED: A NEW STATE LEGISLATURE

I would like to apologize to my 10-year-old son, whom I recently accused of being “The World’s Master at Finger-Pointing.” As of today, there are at least 350 people much worse than he.

The Texas State Legislature has failed so utterly and completely that it is unthinkable that any of them could be re-elected. Now of course, they are all returning to their districts saying exactly the same thing as Dan Branch: “I can’t tell you how angry I am,” said Rep. Dan Branch, R-Dallas. “My constituents were expecting school finance reform, property tax reform and Robin Hood reform – and we couldn’t deliver on any of it.” Okay, so what now? What do we do for the next two years? They were sent there to fix school finance, and they managed to pass 4,000 different bills but not school finance. Let the outrage pour forth.

BACK TO YOU, TIM

RE: SO MANY QUESTIONS

I said the story wasn’t online. It is now. Still no answers, though.

SO MANY QUESTIONS

A news item in the D-FW Regional Roundup of the paper (sadly, not online) is flat-out bizarre. I’ll type it in full, because that’s how much I care for you, and because Robert Tharp’s understated prose seems somehow fitting:

Police use Taser on man making suicidal threats
Dallas police used a Taser gun to subdue a man who was making suicidal threats near the Kennedy Memorial downtown Sunday. According to police reports, the man drove up to the memorial in a Rolls Royce and caught officers’ attention by threatening to harm himself with a Civil War-era sword. Officers disabled him with an electric jolt from the Taser gun and took him to Parkland Memorial Hospital for observation.

A Rolls? A sword? The Kennedy Memorial? Really?

JESSICA AND A DIRTY, DIRTY CAR

Us magazine has “exclusive photos” of Jessica Simpson washing a car in her bikini. If you want it, here it is, come and get it. (No need to hurry; I don’t think it’s going fast.) [Link via goldenfiddle.]

BEER BUST, FOR REALS, PART II

Hope your Memorial Day was a good’un. Friday seems like weeks ago, doesn’t it? Remember it? We had a party on the patio, with a couple of kegs, some guac, and good times. At left is another picture to prove it. That’s Tim doing a keg stand. What’s missing from the picture is Wick, who peered through his office window just as Tim was making his dismount. Wick looked at Tim with a delicious mixture of confusion, disappointment, and disgust. It. Was. Awesome.

SPEAKING OF SPORTS COLUMNISTS

Jonathon Edward “Skip” Bayless was spotted at Dallas National playing golf with buddy and fellow beefcake Larry North.

DMN GETS TEN NEW SPORTS COLUMNISTS

This piece was obviously devised so that the poor desk editors could take some time off yesterday but I read every word of it. Funny stuff.

BEER BUST, FOR REALS

Right now, the stragglers are trying their best to empty the kegs at the company-wide happy hour. It’s true. Here’s the email we received a couple of days ago:

All employees from People and D are invited to a “beer bust” party this Friday at 4 pm on the 2nd-floor balcony. We will have keggers, chips, and guacamole. Wick wants us all to unwind before he leaves for his flyfishing trip. Think serenity.

A good time was had by all, including our pregnant-with-triplets Associate Publisher Phyllis Cole Spence (don’t worry, people, she’s drinking O’Douls). But notice, there in the background, “Brian” is “talking” to the “ladies” about something no doubt “important.” Kudos to the photographer, Ashlie, for capturing such a “tender moment.”

Tune in Tuesday for an extra special photo. It’s a doozy.

TEXAS TALK RADIO 990 AM: R.I.P.

The station’s parent company has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Seems Kevin McCarthy got when the gettin’ was good.

EWING ALIVE AND WELL IN DALLAS–AND NEW YORK CITY

B. Edward Ewing is an interesting fellow. Grew up poor in Jasper, Indiana. Wound up pulling the big levers inside the military industrial complex at the Carlyle Group. Along the way, became very wealthy. Landed last year on our list of the 100 Most Expensive Homes in Dallas (No. 42). Comes now news that the billionaire just bought a 10-room apartment in the Trump Park Avenue in Manhattan for $8.5 million. The pad has six baths and measures 5,473 square feet. Plus, let’s not forget, Ewing also owns a house in Rancho Santa Fe, California. To Mr. Ewing, we have no choice but to say, with gusto: nice!

BYE-BYE TO TV?

I missed this incredibly interesting item when it was originally published in the Financial Times on April 6, but the Int’l Newspaper Association sent out this summary:

In a survey by BBDO [the giant advertising agency] of 3,000 consumers in 15 countries on the topic of favorite communications devices, 45 percent said that if they were only able to keep one, they would choose their home computer. Some 31 percent selected mobile phones, while only 12 percent chose their televisions. BBDO asserted that the mobile phone will be the device of the future for advertising messages, but it presented special challenges. Consumers are not accustomed to or willing to be interrupted by commercial messages on their mobile devices.

My generation grew up on TV. The slow fading away of the metro newspaper I can understand, but for only 12 percent of respondents to show any attachment to TV is an astonishing cultural change. The media world is changing before our eyes–every day.

IS DALLAS DYING?

Former city councilman Charles Terrell issues a cri de coeur in this week’s Park Cities People. Believe me, it’s worth reading the whole thing.

OBSERVER’S PARENT CO. IN MERGER TALKS?

Tim Edman of the Bay Guardian thinks the two major alternative newspaper groups, New Times–which owns the Dallas Observer–and Village Voice Media are holding serious conversations. Here’s why:

Both organizations are controlled by big banks. They’re making money, but not as much as the bankers want. “Each has big corporate overhead – and the banks will say, this is how you make your return on investment.”

How like bankers. Neither group is making its numbers, so the answer is to put them together. Let’s see: -1 + -1 = 2. Something about that math doesn’t feel right.

FRIDAY FUN

Hey, there, you Friday Funners. Today’s Friday Fun is a bit self-interested. You see, my wife and I are going on a double date that involves bowling. You heard me. So I figured I should practice with an online version. No contest today. Apologies to all of you Friday Fun newcomers who found out about us from the Dallas Observer. (The Full Frontal story about last week’s Friday Fun is in the print version only.) Maybe next week.

BEATLES SONGS CEASE

Remember the radio station that launched with an all-Beatles format? The Mighty 1190 has taken the next step. The full release:
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MARK CUBAN: MAN’S MAN

An alert FrontBurnervian brings us this item about Cubes (with a great picture of him that I can’t, for some reason, post in this entry). Kelly Ann Collins says she was “slumming it” at a place called McFaddens in D.C., when Cubes walked into the bar with a priest and a monkey. Okay, maybe there was no priest or monkey. But there was definitely Mark Cuban. Basketball talk ensued.

RE: JOE BARTON, KILLING

An all-knowing FrontBurnervian writes:

Barton is fighting not only constituents but also state senators. About a year and a half ago he and Sen. Chris Harris (R-Arlington) got into an argument over the cement plants. The argument became so heated that staff members had to break it up. No confirmation if any punches were landed. My money would be on Sen. Harris, though. He’s a tough son-of-a-b***h.

WRIGHT HERE, WRIGHT NOW

Congressmen Sam Johnson, R-Plano, and Jeb Hensarling, R-Dallas, proposed the “Right to Fly Act” that would repeal the Wright Amendment and make it a lot easier to book flights on Southwest Airlines online, among other things. Guess what. D/FW officials are against it.

LOCALS GET HITCHED, REAL CLASSY-STYLE

Stan Smith and Julianne Devereaux of Melissa, Texas, got married in Vegas, specifically on the main stage of a strip club in Vegas. Nice.

[Thanks to a newspaper-reading FrontBurnervian for the link.]

RE: THE MERCANTILE

An idea-having FrontBurnervian has an idea for The Mercantile. I’ll include the e-mail he sent me (and about two dozen other people at City Hall, WFAA, Rosewood Hotels, and elsewhere) after the jump. But if you want the short version: convert the Merc into a campus for a Culinary Arts Institute. Hmm. It might work.
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JOE BARTON: KILLING US ANYWAY HE CAN

Those who’ve read our story titled “No Place Like Home,” about the cement plants in Midlothian, know that Joe Barton doesn’t care much for clean air. Now comes a crushing NYT story about Barton’s protecting chemical plants:

Two of the country’s most dangerous chemical facilities, which threaten more than one million people, are in Dallas, just outside Mr. Barton’s district. There is also toxic waste being transported through his district on rail lines and highways. Mr. Barton’s committee chairmanship is likely to give him an enormous say in whether chemical plant security legislation passes this year.

That decision pits the interests of his energy industry supporters against the well-being of his constituents who live or work inside the kill zone. Unfortunately, so far Mr. Barton has tilted in favor of industry.

RE: UEFA CUP

Oops.

UEFA Cup final was last week. CSKA Moscow beat Sporting Lisbon 3-1. You must be talking about the Champions League final between Liverpool and AC Milan. All of these European cups runneth over.

Apologies to you and your Tivo.

RE: UEFA CUP

A cable-watching FrontBurnervian says the game will be rebroadcast tonight on ESPN Classic at 9 pm. Sorry if I ruined the ending.